DjSandoval
Oct 25, 2015
Undergraduate / TAMU ESSAY TOPIC B - a setting in which you have collaborated or interacted with people [5]
... my parents are both natives of Yaounde, Cameroon.
S ince the time of elementary school I've always ...
... I can only succeed for less.
M any of those thoughts lingered ...
An older sister.
... you'll be a dropout just like me".
H earing those words come ...
T he fact that someone dearest ...
... someone that will and can succeed as a first generation ...
I made some punctuation corrections. There are still some sentences that are run-on but I do not know how to make it where it does not lose its meaning, especially the italicized part. Also, the way it is written is very good, it answers the second half of the prompt. However, I believe that you should elaborate more on your sister and her beliefs over education to be able to answer the first half.
... my parents are both natives of Yaounde, Cameroon.
S ince the time of elementary school I've always ...
... I can only succeed for less.
M any of those thoughts lingered ...
An older sister.
... you'll be a dropout just like me".
H earing those words come ...
T he fact that someone dearest ...
... someone that will and can succeed as a first generation ...
I made some punctuation corrections. There are still some sentences that are run-on but I do not know how to make it where it does not lose its meaning, especially the italicized part. Also, the way it is written is very good, it answers the second half of the prompt. However, I believe that you should elaborate more on your sister and her beliefs over education to be able to answer the first half.
