cassitylys
Oct 28, 2015
Undergraduate / "COTTON CANDY CLOUDS" What Matters Most to Me - STANFORD [8]
Thank you so much for your help. I've made the suggested changes.
Thank you so much for your help. I've made the suggested changes.
cassitylys
Oct 27, 2015
Undergraduate / "COTTON CANDY CLOUDS" What Matters Most to Me - STANFORD [8]
This is my revised version, hope you all could take another look and give your thoughts on this version.
Every morning when I wake to the sight of cotton candy clouds, I know that the sky matters to me. The way the clouds reflect the hues of the morning sun, lighting up the sky with soft pastels, demands my admiration. When I return home from a particularly exhausting day, I can appreciate the fluffy, white clouds that decorate the sky, emphasizing its brilliant blue. After a long period of studying and homework, I find comfort in the fiery sunset that marks each evening. Late at night, I am overcome with drowsy awe as I gaze up at the constellations sparkling in the darkness.
Each time I look at the sky, I am reminded of its fragile beauty. I cannot help but wonder what will become of it if we continue to pollute the planet. Will the stars shine through the thick, polluted air? Will the sun's rays penetrate the smog? How could I, so small and among so many, possibly prevent this? These are the thoughts I am forced to consider when I look towards the clouds. I am not just an observer of the Earth's scenery; I am active member in it. Every decision I make, no matter how small, can affect the planet. The preservation of the Earth matters to me, because I hope that 100 years from now, someone else can admire the sunrise just as I do each morning.
This is my revised version, hope you all could take another look and give your thoughts on this version.
Every morning when I wake to the sight of cotton candy clouds, I know that the sky matters to me. The way the clouds reflect the hues of the morning sun, lighting up the sky with soft pastels, demands my admiration. When I return home from a particularly exhausting day, I can appreciate the fluffy, white clouds that decorate the sky, emphasizing its brilliant blue. After a long period of studying and homework, I find comfort in the fiery sunset that marks each evening. Late at night, I am overcome with drowsy awe as I gaze up at the constellations sparkling in the darkness.
Each time I look at the sky, I am reminded of its fragile beauty. I cannot help but wonder what will become of it if we continue to pollute the planet. Will the stars shine through the thick, polluted air? Will the sun's rays penetrate the smog? How could I, so small and among so many, possibly prevent this? These are the thoughts I am forced to consider when I look towards the clouds. I am not just an observer of the Earth's scenery; I am active member in it. Every decision I make, no matter how small, can affect the planet. The preservation of the Earth matters to me, because I hope that 100 years from now, someone else can admire the sunrise just as I do each morning.
cassitylys
Oct 27, 2015
Undergraduate / "COTTON CANDY CLOUDS" What Matters Most to Me - STANFORD [8]
@vangiespen I love this idea. Environment conservation is one of my interests but I wasn't sure how to incorporate it into any of my essays. Thanks for the great idea!
@vangiespen I love this idea. Environment conservation is one of my interests but I wasn't sure how to incorporate it into any of my essays. Thanks for the great idea!
cassitylys
Oct 26, 2015
Writing Feedback / In many countries people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight. [2]
Those children thatare under the effect ofare affected by genetic causes (delete comma)haveeat healthy food and exercise regularly, but still are overweight.
Those children that
cassitylys
Oct 26, 2015
Undergraduate / "COTTON CANDY CLOUDS" What Matters Most to Me - STANFORD [8]
What matters to you, and why? 100 - 250 words
Each morning when I wake to the sight of cotton candy clouds, I realize that the sky matters to me. The way the clouds reflect the hues of the morning sun, lighting up the sky with soft pastels, demands my admiration. When I return home from a particularly exhausting day, I can appreciate the fluffy, white clouds that decorate the sky, emphasizing its brilliant blue. After a long period of studying and homework, I find comfort in the fiery sunset that marks each evening.
The beauty of the sky allows me to escape time and just be. I lay on the grass, gazing up at the clouds as they slowly drift across the sky, and I allow myself to move far away from the world of school, responsibilities, and expectations. It's just me and the clouds. This time I have to think, feel, and wonder under the safety of the sky is something I cannot go without.
What matters to you, and why? 100 - 250 words
Each morning when I wake to the sight of cotton candy clouds, I realize that the sky matters to me. The way the clouds reflect the hues of the morning sun, lighting up the sky with soft pastels, demands my admiration. When I return home from a particularly exhausting day, I can appreciate the fluffy, white clouds that decorate the sky, emphasizing its brilliant blue. After a long period of studying and homework, I find comfort in the fiery sunset that marks each evening.
The beauty of the sky allows me to escape time and just be. I lay on the grass, gazing up at the clouds as they slowly drift across the sky, and I allow myself to move far away from the world of school, responsibilities, and expectations. It's just me and the clouds. This time I have to think, feel, and wonder under the safety of the sky is something I cannot go without.
