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Posts by StephanieH
Name: Stephanie H
Joined: Jan 12, 2016
Last Post: Jan 14, 2016
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
Likes: 2
From: United States of America
School: Parkside Middle School

Displayed posts: 4
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StephanieH   
Jan 14, 2016
Writing Feedback / The rate of books read at Burnaby Public Library in a period of four year between 2011 and 2014 [3]

Work on grammar; in punctuation, subject verb agreement, sentence flow, plurals, etc;

...in a period of four years or in a four-year period...
...based on sex...
...It should be noted that the number of books read over the period increased with men, while it peaked sharply at 2013, then decreased with women...

...To begin with...
...the books women read...
...Subsequently,...
etc.

I hope this helps!
StephanieH   
Jan 12, 2016
Scholarship / Couching, volunteering, not to fear any failure. APIASF Scholarship - short term and long term goals [4]

Firstly, your essay seems a bit all over the place. Without an introduction or conclusion, the paragraphs didn't flow into one another. Sentence variation was lacking, and the aggregate of the essay didn't quite advertise how you have been working towards those goals, if that was one of the aims of the prompt.

However, your story had a nice moral touch, delineating you in an altruistic and disadvantaged light. The noting of the dearth of respect your team has received from others and the lack of growth you've experienced, along with coming from a poorer area and having health issues run in the family all serve to put you in an advantage in that aspect of grading. You also gave solid, aboveboard goals, backed up with personal anecdotes, and didn't make any glaring grammatical errors. Overall, you certainly wrote a decent, even personal, essay. Yet, you don't advertise yourself as much as certain scholarships may require; other competitors will be more aggressive than you could imagine.

Keep in mind I am merely a student myself, please take both the criticisms and lauding with a grain of salt. I hope this should help your cause!
StephanieH   
Jan 12, 2016
Scholarship / If you saw your best friend cheat on a test, what would you do: TJHSST Entrance Essay Prep [3]

If you saw your best friend cheat on a test, what would you do?
25 min
In the unfortunate event I were to catch my own best friend cheat on an exam, I would be both disappointed in my choice of friends and torn between reporting them and keeping silent. However, due to certain innate principals such as responsibility and integrity which I hold key to success in life, as well as the guilt I would feel if I were to be apocryphal to school administrators by not speaking out, I would certainly report my friend. Moreover, this action would prove to be beneficial not only to my consciousness but to the entire community being tested, and my friend, in the long run.

As someone set in the pursuit of excellence, I strictly adhere to certain academic principals: among these are responsibility and integrity. Whether in a learning environment or not, I always strive to be responsible and honest in my endeavors. To adduce, as a prospective TJHSST student my passion is technology, namely the field of Virtual Reality, and I am always conducting out of school projects to learn and create in this field for the eventual realization of my life goal: the cultivation of a neurally-transmitted VR, considered to be the holy grail of this field. In my latest project, which can be seen at stephaniehh.weebly.com, I utilize multiple softwares from third-party developers. This project, while serving to augment my technical knowledge as a homemade VR, was also entered in the Arduino Microsoft competition. Thus, in the competition, I aptly cited all my software sources to their respective owners even if I could get away with claiming I coded the APIs myself: showing integrity as to the owner of these codes. Clearly, my character traits run rather strongly, and not reporting my friend would go too far against my nature, despite the possible repercussions our friendship may endure as a result.

Moreover, by being reported by their own best friend my friend may learn the lesson never to cheat again, which would undoubtedly benefit their character and life choices, leading them to a better future. Thus, reporting my friend would ultimately benefit us both, whether the effects are immediate and obvious, or only visible in the long run.

More prevalently, however, are the beneficial effects that reporting my friend would have on the academic community. Having cheaters in the system makes the entire analysis of a group's ability to perform their tested tasks defunct. This phenomenon isn't limited to education; for example, in the renown cycling competition le Tour de France, cyclists on steroids have thrown off the veracity of countless past competitions. The trophy winner of 8 years, Louis Armstrong is one such cyclist revealed to have used steroids, which insinuates to all fans the question who should have won. Sadly, the cyclist deserving of those trophies will always be unknown, a notable blow to the competing community. Similarly, by letting my friend cheat I would be harming all the other students being tested, as my friend's false scores would throw off the central measures of tendency and percentiles on such tests, which are vital for those students' futures. Thus, I would certainly report my friend for the good of the tested community.

While the initial feelings of animosity my friend would foster towards me for reporting them to the authorities would be harsh, I would certainly take that action. For the peace of my mind in my academic principals, the future of my friend, and the stability of the grading system towards the tested community, taking the harder path is the right thing to do. Moreover, as a prospective TJHSST student, these decisions are the sort scientists and technologists must make constantly to maintain the veracity of their work in the research and innovations they create; as I wish to be involved in these career paths, I believe it is necessary to be able to make these choices. Having that ability opens up the doors to be able to honestly contribute to technological progress in my goal, to further the shared interests of humanity.
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