weirdquark
Jan 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / Worldwide sales of video games in dollars - IELTS Writing Task 1 Practice on 2016-01-18 [2]
Please to help me to revise this essay and give me any further idea. Many thanks!
The bar chart demonstrates the statistics of the amount of the dollars about the worldwide sales of video games from 2000 to 2006, which are grouped into four kinds of plateform, including mobile phones, online, consoles and handgeld devices.
Except for console games, there is marked growth of sales of video games year by year in other platforms which results in significant rise of total sale amount in this 7 years. Mostly, the sale performance of handheld games is at least two times better than that of any other platform over the 7-year period.
Since no data of mobile and online games in year 2000, console games obtained fewer than $6 billion, whereas handheld games earned almost near $12 billion. During the next 3 years, sales of console games gradually dropped downd to around $4 billion. On the contrary, the performance for handheld games increased by about $4 billion. Mobile phone and online games began to enter the market in 2001 and 2002. Both of them came to $4 billion in 2004.
According to the chart, in 2006, sales of handheld, online and mobile games stand at peaks of 17, 9 and 7 billion significantly. But conversely, revenue of console games fall to half of itself from 2000.
Please to help me to revise this essay and give me any further idea. Many thanks!
The bar chart demonstrates the statistics of the amount of the dollars about the worldwide sales of video games from 2000 to 2006, which are grouped into four kinds of plateform, including mobile phones, online, consoles and handgeld devices.
Except for console games, there is marked growth of sales of video games year by year in other platforms which results in significant rise of total sale amount in this 7 years. Mostly, the sale performance of handheld games is at least two times better than that of any other platform over the 7-year period.
Since no data of mobile and online games in year 2000, console games obtained fewer than $6 billion, whereas handheld games earned almost near $12 billion. During the next 3 years, sales of console games gradually dropped downd to around $4 billion. On the contrary, the performance for handheld games increased by about $4 billion. Mobile phone and online games began to enter the market in 2001 and 2002. Both of them came to $4 billion in 2004.
According to the chart, in 2006, sales of handheld, online and mobile games stand at peaks of 17, 9 and 7 billion significantly. But conversely, revenue of console games fall to half of itself from 2000.
