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Posts by DSG
Joined: Aug 4, 2009
Last Post: Jan 15, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  

Displayed posts: 7
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DSG   
Jan 15, 2010
Graduate / MBA: Corporate Finance, professional goals and what to gain from the program [5]

Susan, Kevin,

thank you both for useful comments! issues with "are vs aren't" and "regardless of" were not obvious for me since I am foreigner

also, i had to 'miss' some articles in the essay because of word limit that schools impose on applicants; but i forgot to put them back)

again thanks a lot. this is indeed a great forum. will do my best to give back)

DG
DSG   
Jan 13, 2010
Graduate / MBA: Corporate Finance, professional goals and what to gain from the program [5]

hi,

this is a great forum to get insights from people that you don't know and who, in turn, don't know you. please comment on logic/flow/being specific/personal and of course use of language.

thanks
DG

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"Don't even try; you cannot jump over your head",
Many people in [country] tell me when I explain them my aspirations

"Willing person acts, unwilling - looks for excuses",
Academician K

After earning my MA degree in 2006, I had a clear vision of my action plan for the next several years. Since commodity derivatives markets were simply non-existent in [Country A] (and still aren't), I decided to start my professional career at Corporate Finance. A-nian economy was booming and presented opportunities in local M&A. By now, having worked in the field for almost 4 years, I can honestly claim that I made a correct choice: neither long working hours and challenging tasks, nor a global economic downturn had me reconsider it. Even more, striving for professional excellence I have already completed 2 out of 3 levels in the CFA Program. My own experience thus makes me absolutely confident that I can successfully develop my career within Corporate Finance track. However, I have always had some kind of desire to devote my intellectual efforts to complex financial markets, to participate in markets and study them simultaneously. I am only looking for correct opportunity to start. And this is what MBA all about: presenting new professional opportunities.

To combine my intellectual passion for markets and work, one day I hope to establish and head a fund or advisory company; perhaps, a Commodity Trading Advisor. Presumably, the company will trade and provide advice regarding trading and investment in currency and commodity financial instruments, such as futures and forwards, possibly commodity-related stocks and indexes, as well as their derivatives. Strategies will be based on proprietary rules and will involve both long and short, single- and multiple-instrument positions.

I understand that establishing and successfully running such a company is a complex task. It requires specific knowledge of operation procedures, regulations in different jurisdictions, fund raising techniques, HR skills, and so on, apart from profitable market strategies. In order to achieve my goal, I will need to obtain necessary experience, professional skills, and connections. Therefore, my strategic objective now is to make a career shift from Corporate Finance to Investment Management field and obtain a role within strategy development, asset allocation, or trading. I will also pay attention to opportunity to get departmental rotation in order to become acquainted with all aspects of business. As of now, I plan to stay employed for 10-15 years before establishing my own company. If necessary, I will pass specific securities examinations.

Regardless of my success in securing necessary job right now, I plan to undertake several tactical steps to attain my long-term goal. First of all, I am going to earn the CFA Charter: I have only 1 out of 3 examinations left. Second, I will study the basics of C++. Creating robust trading strategies (i.e. developing risk-management techniques, optimal position sizes, entry-exit timing rules, etc.) is difficult and time-consuming without programming, sometimes even impossible. Certainly, I do not plan to do all the coding by myself while developing strategies but I wish to be acquainted with the basics. Third, I will expand my current website by including section with own market analytics and types of trades that may be done with options. Forth, I will earn the ACCA Charter.

Given the above mentioned, [Name] MBA Program may significantly facilitate me in realization of all my professional goals. Namely,
(1) By earning a widely-recognized degree I will make desired career shift to Investment Management industry
(2) Due to executive-like organization of Program I will gain additional year of experience compared to me participating in any full-time program. Obviously, it is a significant advantage for any young professional, especially in today's job market environment. Also, I will have chance to make my career shift earlier

(3) I will fill in the gap in my management knowledge and skills with such courses as Managerial Effectiveness, Leadership, etc. The unique multi-term courses provide outstanding opportunity to sharpen skills outside the classroom. Also, if admitted, I plan to major in Finance and will customize my curriculum with appropriate electives

(4) I will use several MBA courses, e.g. Managerial Accounting, to get exemption from certain ACCA papers; specifically, F1, F2, and F3 in ACCA's classification. Also, I hope to use University resources to study C++

(5) After becoming CFA Charterholder, I will be able to apply for membership to the CFA [local] Society. Dual membership will allow me to benefit Society of my first choice, CFA A, where I chair Technology and co-chair Strategic Development Committees, by bringing experience from well-established organization

(6) Finally, being MBA student, I will join several professional clubs at []: Finance, Investment Management, and European Business Club among others.

Matching my professional needs so clearly, choice of [] as my #1 business school did not greatly depend on personal reasons. But I would like to mention them as well. The executive-like organization of educational process at MBA Program will allow me not only gain additional year of experience but also travel and see business capitals of countries that in many ways drive today's world economy. Hardly will I find another the reason to travel to, say, S., in the nearest future. In fact, before attending information session, I was preparing to apply to full-time MBA Program. The mentioned distinctive feature (1 more year of experience plus travel opportunity) determined my decision the moment I realized the advantage. Also, I find [] spirit of help very appealing; I never encountered it before from university staff.

Concluding, I know that I can comfortably stay within chosen field of Corporate Finance. But I feel the need to realize every bit of potential I might have. My permanent desire to be better and achieve more pushes me to new challenges. I am glad to have strategic career vision and the goal that spans more than 10 years ahead, desire not to limit myself by national borders and practices (in contrast with many of my classmates, friends, and colleagues), and to have true intellectual passion that challenges me. I know that [] MBA Program will significantly help me realize my potential. Some benefits of MBA will become evident immediately, while others will crystallize with time.
DSG   
Jan 13, 2010
Undergraduate / "Learning more about business" - Bentley University Supplement [3]

hi,

my suggestion is:
1) try to eliminate everything evident saving space for vital info about you and your reasons to apply, e.g.

"...and that it helps us as students do better as we are able to get help with whatever problems we have, which makes my academic weaknesses that much easier to cope with." - it is a consequence of small classes and you may well stop the idea after the word "professors". your essay won't lose necessary info

2) if everything else is vital, may play with formulating sentences: deleting articles, rephrasing, etc. Not the best solution, but works in case you need space for ideas

best
DSG   
Jan 13, 2010
Graduate / Self-initiated civic engagement activities&Research experience;Public Health(MASTER) [3]

hi,

i am non-native speaker so here are just my 5c about the content presentation:

- a bit difficult to read, lots of information. it seems like you are trying to tell everything in one essay. many long sentences
- perhaps you need to make ideas flowing more logical between paragraphs for a reader to grasp them easier
- if you follow quite formal writing style, may be you should avoid presenting ideas in a form of "he said...i spoke..."

just some ideas
DSG   
Dec 22, 2009
Graduate / "...Success is failure turned inside out... "; MBA essay: failure [4]

Dear forum members,

I am nonnative speaker and this year I am applying to a bs. This is my first post on the forum. I would kindly ask you to provide your suggestions regarding one of the essays I need to submit since I know that many things evident for me are not that evident for others. Also, some ideas I mention in this essay are explained in others so that a person who reads the entire set of essays will understand, but I do not explain them here, e.g. the issue of trading.

Thank you

----------------------------------------------------------------- ----- ------------

"...Success is failure turned inside out... "
"Don't Quit", Author Unknown

One of the most important episodes of my life concerns Work&Travel USA Program. Once I learned about the program in December of 2002, my decision was immediate. The main reason I wanted to participate in the Program was to earn capital to start trading. Of course, there were other reasons: to see the country, get new experience, improve language skills. However, these were subordinate. I have studied all the information I could get from peers and internet and made a business plan: what kind of job I needed, how much I had to spend, and how long to work to be profitable. In accordance with my plan, I had to spend in US more than 3 months of summer vacation between my 3rd and 4th college years. Thus, I wrote a letter to a Chancellor asking to finish my current academic year earlier and start the next one later. I was quite lucky to find the job in a family X business. Running ahead, I should say that I have fulfilled my business plan.

During those 5 months I did everything: from building trailers to cooking to serving customers. However, my beginning wasn't smooth at all. Without going too much in detail, I must admit that I did wrong many things that I was asked to do. Some mistakes were insignificant (once I forgot to put equipment back in the barn and left it under rain), other were more serious. One of them is crashing a golf cart. My boss, Mr. H, often had ache in legs and having a cart for him was sooner a necessity. In contrast to most mistakes that I committed because of either cultural barrier or simply lack of knowledge how to use stuff, that is, mistakes that I did only in first couple of weeks during my adaptation, crashing the cart was different story. When you are 19 and you come to US for the first time expecting to gain perhaps the best experience in your life and earn money that you would never earn at home in such a short period of time, you believe that this is a success. You think, "Finally I achieved something significant. I always tried, and finally I get what I deserve". Thoughts like this soon bring you to a state close to some sort of euphoria; you lose a feeling of reality to certain extent. And I just started having fun without thinking of consequences, which put me back to ground very fast. I must say, however, that my boss, Mr. H, was a good teacher. Every time I though "This is it. Tomorrow I am flying home if he won't kill me", he would give me another try. He wasn't gentle, he just believed in my potential. Sure, I had to work hard to justify his trust, and I did. Although sometimes it was not easy: in summer we had a 2 week flooding and then a forest fire, which destroyed our barn, trailers and damaged a house. Still, by the end of the season, I became one his favorite workers. When I was leaving, he gave me a frame with that poem "Don't Quit". I still keep it on my table together with letter Mr. H wrote me on our last day together.

That summer I learned two important lessons, which I now value much more than money I earned. First, feeling of success may be dangerous for unprepared mind. Being successful does not imply that you are allowed to be irresponsible; never lose your reality check. Second, failure is not the end, just don't trust your emotions at the moment you understand you have failed and go on, tomorrow you will thank yourself.
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