AngeloApollo
May 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: The earth has witnessed drastic changes since human springs into existence. Our harmed planet [3]
I began to write some essays. Could anybody here help me check and revise my writing ?
Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The earth has witnessed drastic changes since human springs into existence. Throughout the evolution of human species, humankind has endeavored to subjugate the planet and metamorphosed it into an ideal place to put down roots. Although the grandiose ambitions to conquer mother nature is beyond the realms of possibility, people do alter the earth in far-reaching ramifications by dint of the industrial revolution and reforms in scores of spheres. Some changes might have beneficial effects on the Earth, however I am of the contrary opinion that the planet is imperiled by anthropogenic activities.
To start with, the industrialization triggers off an army of malign influences upon the earth. Every year, myriad wastages were dumped into the rivers and oceans or oil slick from damaged oil tankers is also instrumental in water contamination. Not to mention the fact that the heavy industry has emitted well-nigh 400 billion tons of carbon dioxide, which is known as a heat-trapping gas that entraps the sun radiation raising the global average temperature and changing the weather patterns all over the world, by burning fossil fuels, coal, and gas in order to fuel the world's economy from 1870 to 2013. As a result, a significant percentage of carbon dioxide are dissolved in oceans which gradually accumulate their acidity up to 30 percent over the past 100 years, hence this increase leads to the extinction of copious marine animals by virtue of a demise of the richest ocean ecosystem - the coral reefs. Also, the global warming effect is a paramount concern that intensifies the magnitude of many cataclysms such as drought, tsunami, earthquake and the rise of sea level that will engulf plenty of coastal cities in the cold deep blue water.
Likewise, the Industrial agriculture also mounts the harmful effects to our fragile spherical planet. The revolution takes place in developed countries and quickly spreads to the Third World and causes significantly bad impacts on the biosphere. A large number of forests were incinerated for farmlands and the shifting cultivation in tropical countries as well as people has diverted the course of freshwater rivers to irrigate crop and animal husbandry. In other words, according to the Union of Concerned Scientists, three billion tons of carbon dioxide emissions are discharged into the ether and 13 million hectares was marred annually. The deforestation brought about a ripple effect occasioning soil erosion, known as the fundamental rationale behind of flash floods and degradation in biodiversity. Ultimately, the mass loss of rainforest disrupts the evapotranspiration of the hydrological cycle that causes lots of extreme climates such as a diminution in annual precipitation or precipitous lengthy heatwave on the international scale. These environmental hazards which can wipe human beings off the map are unquestionably stemmed from the callous anthropogenic activities.
In closing, the human race is anthropocentric that they are pertinacious to conquer the nature and force it into their servant, as a consequence they have paid for their egregious sins in imminent catastrophes for the foreseeable future. Ergo people should take every effort to preserve our only true home in this lonely cosmos.
I began to write some essays. Could anybody here help me check and revise my writing ?
Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The earth has witnessed drastic changes since human springs into existence. Throughout the evolution of human species, humankind has endeavored to subjugate the planet and metamorphosed it into an ideal place to put down roots. Although the grandiose ambitions to conquer mother nature is beyond the realms of possibility, people do alter the earth in far-reaching ramifications by dint of the industrial revolution and reforms in scores of spheres. Some changes might have beneficial effects on the Earth, however I am of the contrary opinion that the planet is imperiled by anthropogenic activities.
To start with, the industrialization triggers off an army of malign influences upon the earth. Every year, myriad wastages were dumped into the rivers and oceans or oil slick from damaged oil tankers is also instrumental in water contamination. Not to mention the fact that the heavy industry has emitted well-nigh 400 billion tons of carbon dioxide, which is known as a heat-trapping gas that entraps the sun radiation raising the global average temperature and changing the weather patterns all over the world, by burning fossil fuels, coal, and gas in order to fuel the world's economy from 1870 to 2013. As a result, a significant percentage of carbon dioxide are dissolved in oceans which gradually accumulate their acidity up to 30 percent over the past 100 years, hence this increase leads to the extinction of copious marine animals by virtue of a demise of the richest ocean ecosystem - the coral reefs. Also, the global warming effect is a paramount concern that intensifies the magnitude of many cataclysms such as drought, tsunami, earthquake and the rise of sea level that will engulf plenty of coastal cities in the cold deep blue water.
Likewise, the Industrial agriculture also mounts the harmful effects to our fragile spherical planet. The revolution takes place in developed countries and quickly spreads to the Third World and causes significantly bad impacts on the biosphere. A large number of forests were incinerated for farmlands and the shifting cultivation in tropical countries as well as people has diverted the course of freshwater rivers to irrigate crop and animal husbandry. In other words, according to the Union of Concerned Scientists, three billion tons of carbon dioxide emissions are discharged into the ether and 13 million hectares was marred annually. The deforestation brought about a ripple effect occasioning soil erosion, known as the fundamental rationale behind of flash floods and degradation in biodiversity. Ultimately, the mass loss of rainforest disrupts the evapotranspiration of the hydrological cycle that causes lots of extreme climates such as a diminution in annual precipitation or precipitous lengthy heatwave on the international scale. These environmental hazards which can wipe human beings off the map are unquestionably stemmed from the callous anthropogenic activities.
In closing, the human race is anthropocentric that they are pertinacious to conquer the nature and force it into their servant, as a consequence they have paid for their egregious sins in imminent catastrophes for the foreseeable future. Ergo people should take every effort to preserve our only true home in this lonely cosmos.
