aldicho
May 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Is modern life better for human? [3]
1. Last sentence; second paragraph
Therefore, the modern the life is, the more people have to work hard.
I think you should add object after is . Or you may simply say: Therefore, in modern life, people have to work harder.
2. Last sentence; third paragraph
Therefore, the modernis not only makes the human life become harder but also has the same effect on others.
No need to writeis since you use present simple tense. And the existence of become is not necessary.
3. First sentence; last paragraph
I still believe that the disadvantageoutweighs the advantage
I suppose you write more than one so it should be "disadvantagesoutweigh the advantages
Overall, You have exquisite ideas and those ideas are written in a great manner. These few little flaws I mentioned above wouldn't be a serious problems.
1. Last sentence; second paragraph
Therefore, the modern the life is, the more people have to work hard.
I think you should add object after is . Or you may simply say: Therefore, in modern life, people have to work harder.
2. Last sentence; third paragraph
Therefore, the modernis not only makes the human life become harder but also has the same effect on others.
No need to writeis since you use present simple tense. And the existence of become is not necessary.
3. First sentence; last paragraph
I still believe that the disadvantageoutweighs the advantage
I suppose you write more than one so it should be "disadvantagesoutweigh the advantages
Overall, You have exquisite ideas and those ideas are written in a great manner. These few little flaws I mentioned above wouldn't be a serious problems.
