Graduate /
Grad School Statement of Purpose Critique (passion for academics and researc) [11]
Dear Evaluators,
Based on your invaluble feedback I have rewritten my SOP which is due in a couple of days. I know the last two paragraphs need some work and would be open to suggestions how to modify them.
Kindly offer your able guidance.
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Requirements:
- Upload a one- or two-page statement that includes the following information:
2. Your primary educational and research interests
3. An outline of your research experience and a list of any publications and academic honors
4. A description of your background in fields particularly relevant to your study objectives-include any relevant industrial/work or research experience
5. A discussion of specific research topics and methods you might pursue in your thesis research
6. Information outlining your current work/study activities
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Industry can be a difficult place for an individual driven by a desire to make a difference.
On completing my masters I was faced with a dilemma, to either continue with a Ph.D or to experience what the industry had to offer. I figured given the close relationship that the industry and academia enjoyed joining the corporate world would be the safest choice. I would either love the industry so much, unwilling to return, and if I did, it would be with a deeper passion for academics and an invaluable understanding the corporate world. The industry proved to be not as dynamic and challenging as I had anticipated. Creativity was hindered by monotony and procedural hurdles. Despite of these challenges I felt motivated to stay and learn how corporations functioned prior to commencing a long term career in academia.
My journey in mechanical engineering began half way through my bachelors as an electrical engineering student when I decided to sign up for a strength of materials course as part of the core curriculum requirement. As the instructor began revealing some of the concepts associated with the subject I was filled with awe and delight. This is first time I had experienced engineering in a non-abstract sense. There were no more electrons and protons rather strains and stresses which I could physically relate to. The focus of the course on design really sparked my sense of creativity and got me hooked onto mechanical engineering.
Over the next few years I concentrated on topics in machine design, product design, mechanism design, mechatronics, manufacturing processes and received hands on training in using various machining and manufacturing tools. Through 5 consecutive summer research fellowships at Caltech and my work for a custom machine building company I was able to build confidence in my abilities and hone critical problem solving skills. At RPI I became interested in the work of Prof Walczyk, Prof Derby and Ray Puffer which focuses on the design and development of new methods and technologies, to aid the production of parts and assemblies, which currently pose a tremendous challenge to manufacturing. I got to know Prof walzyck's work especially well as he taught some of my classes and served as mentor to one of the AML senior design teams that I led. He later accepted to serve as an advisor to my maters thesis which aimed at developing a novel biomedical device and prototype machinery to test the device. For my Ph.D work I would like to work with possibly him or Prof. Derby as I believe their ground breaking research could lead to major contributions in manufacturing.
Apart from research, I am passionate about learning new things and sharing my knowledge and experience with upcoming students. My insight and creative abilities lend themselves suitable not only to research but to problem solving in general. I am very passionate about motivating and helping people and have been known to engage in intelligent conversation with colleagues and administration in order to implement positive change at RPI and in the world. I have a great desire to make a difference, and hope to one day make such a contribution in my field and the community that my family and professors can be proud of. I feel that being part of an institution that embraces change and produces individuals that leave their mark in the world would set me on the right path to realize my dream.
I truly enjoyed my time at RPI and request the admission committee to consider my application for a TA assistantship in the department. I await your positive response.
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Since they ask for an outline of research activities I was planning on cutting and copying my resume below the SOP. As a sample:
Student Work Experience
June 06 to February 07: Design & Manufacturing Engineer (Masters Thesis): Teak Industries, Inc: Albany, NY -
Perform a Design for Manufacture/Assembly study for the Podiatric Off-Loading Indicator, a novel biomedical device.
-Designed and successfully tested a prototype device to be used in mass production
-Designed and built prototype machinery and mechanisms used in device testing
-Conceptualized a manufacturing system to cost effectively manufacture devices