Undergraduate / My Struggle - My pursuit for happiness (University of Florida) [9]

My Struggle

Looking back at the road, my conscious faintly leads me back to the grassy knolls of the great northwest. I remember that summer of 2000, standing ground on U.S. soil for the first time, there marks the spot for my journey to pursuit happiness.

The first four years living in Idaho establishes foundation for my future, there I learn to speak, read, write, and comprehend English. However, I'm always by my self, loneliness is my only friend after school, therefore, I strive to pursuit happiness. After years of living in the darkness, I cannot help from recalling the past, therefore, after four years, I returned to China. I thought I could find happiness there like before, but no, time has completely washed away my knowledge of Chinese, I struggled greatly at school; half-year later I returned to the States, but I was highly determined to relearn Chinese by self-teaching from the first grade text book, I wasn't willing to give up searching happiness in China. Half-year later, I went back again, I stayed there for a year, surprisingly my diligence of self-teaching paid off, but the happiness I'm searching is nowhere to be found. I suddenly fell in despair...

During the summer of 2005, I made my return to the States, this time I came to Florida; I thought a completely new place means a new beginning. Sadly, my unwillingness to stay in the States drove my mind to a state of depression. Even though I wasn't diagnosed until 2008, I knew that I'm depressed a long ago... Regardless of everything, during the summer of 2008, I made my final visit back to China, during my stay, I strongly refused to return to the States, in my heart, everything around me seems tormenting, it's such a dilemma, struggles and tears blew my mind of making a decision over the phone thousands of miles away. After many trouble, I ironically trusted my instincts accepted my parents' offer for my return to the States.

This is a true story told from me; after returning I was diagnosed with depression, went on medication over a period of one half year, happily now I made a full recovery, I guess I finally found my happiness, my happiness was within me the whole time, I just didn't know how to excavated.

Now, my heart isn't filled with darkness and despair, it is full of vitality and the will to live a happy life...
I just realized how important it is to be happy!