joetuanlt
Aug 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Independent Writing:Nowadays, it is much easier to achieve success with help from one's family [4]
With the rapid advancement in every aspect of the society, the function of family also simultaneously varies. Along this background comes the endless and heated debate; is it more likely for people to reach success with the aid of his family nowadays? As for me, I contend that this statement is undoubtedly true.
To begin with, no more than the past, the society now is more money-oriented. Well goes the saying, "Money can't get you everything, but without money you are nothing"; that is to say, you get to accomplish various tasks with money. And if one's family can give him financial support unconditionally, he is definitely abler to do things perfectly. For instance, people born in a silver spoon with his mouth need not worry about his life condition. Then, in his job career, he can do things more smoothly on the account of his financial creditability. It is strongly believed that freedom from the pressure of money, there are better chances to triumph and that's what majority of the families in the past couldn't achieve.
In addition, people placed relatively more stereotypes or discriminations on one another, compared to these nowadays. With the concept of equity enhancing, people get to treat one another more equally and are more willingly to render aids to others. It is widely acknowledged that there were racial discriminations in US in the nineteenth century and the rank hierarchy in old China. Nevertheless, since the barriers have been broken, the relationships between people are easier to establish. At this, family plays a big role to give one a hand. Family members can help one asking their peers and friends for help, which manifests the strength of social network. After all, a friend of my friend is also my friend.
Last but not least, it is known that kids had to totally obey to what their parents told them to do and had no chance to resist due to strict family rules. Yet this concept has been revolved and family members nowadays assist each other mutually. Receiving the beneficial advice from family members, people commit less blunders and are thus easier to succeed.
In a nutshell, the arguments aforementioned reinforces my belief that the assistances of family members are bound to lead them to the pier of a rosy future.
(giving any kind of suggestions is welcomed!)
With the rapid advancement in every aspect of the society, the function of family also simultaneously varies. Along this background comes the endless and heated debate; is it more likely for people to reach success with the aid of his family nowadays? As for me, I contend that this statement is undoubtedly true.
To begin with, no more than the past, the society now is more money-oriented. Well goes the saying, "Money can't get you everything, but without money you are nothing"; that is to say, you get to accomplish various tasks with money. And if one's family can give him financial support unconditionally, he is definitely abler to do things perfectly. For instance, people born in a silver spoon with his mouth need not worry about his life condition. Then, in his job career, he can do things more smoothly on the account of his financial creditability. It is strongly believed that freedom from the pressure of money, there are better chances to triumph and that's what majority of the families in the past couldn't achieve.
In addition, people placed relatively more stereotypes or discriminations on one another, compared to these nowadays. With the concept of equity enhancing, people get to treat one another more equally and are more willingly to render aids to others. It is widely acknowledged that there were racial discriminations in US in the nineteenth century and the rank hierarchy in old China. Nevertheless, since the barriers have been broken, the relationships between people are easier to establish. At this, family plays a big role to give one a hand. Family members can help one asking their peers and friends for help, which manifests the strength of social network. After all, a friend of my friend is also my friend.
Last but not least, it is known that kids had to totally obey to what their parents told them to do and had no chance to resist due to strict family rules. Yet this concept has been revolved and family members nowadays assist each other mutually. Receiving the beneficial advice from family members, people commit less blunders and are thus easier to succeed.
In a nutshell, the arguments aforementioned reinforces my belief that the assistances of family members are bound to lead them to the pier of a rosy future.
(giving any kind of suggestions is welcomed!)