daisyidk
Oct 12, 2016
Undergraduate / "Why is America the greatest country in the world?" COMMON APP PERSONAL STATEMENT - Solve a problem [3]
Thanks so much, Ha Linh Trang!
Thanks so much, Ha Linh Trang!
daisyidk
Oct 8, 2016
Undergraduate / "Why is America the greatest country in the world?" COMMON APP PERSONAL STATEMENT - Solve a problem [3]
Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
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My initial reaction was confusion. As we drove down the unfamiliar street, -- a street more uncluttered and undisturbed than the kinds I had grown up to know -- I counted up to 15 American flags in less than 20 minutes. I wondered why people would need to be reminded of what their flag looked like so often. Was there an amnesia epidemic in this country? My father had somehow noticed my curiosity even with his eyes still plastered on the road.
"Why is America the greatest country in the world?"
I was taken aback. Rather than posing an actual question, he was looking for me to verify his preconceptions. America was quite the spectacle, a fantasy almost. But I hadn't yet accepted it to be the greatest country in the world. I hadn't seen half of the world yet so how could I know? I didn't have an answer for him, so he answered it for himself.
"It's the greatest in the world because it provides equal opportunities for everybody, unlike Nigeria" he told me.
His words processed in my head as I tried to come up with a quick reply. Once more, I was at a loss for words. My father continued,
"In Nigeria, it's all about who you know. Over here, anything is possible as long as you work hard enough."
I was confused again. But this time not on the topic of flags, but rather confused on why i was slowly growing irritated. Thoughts raced through my head that I would not allow to spill through my mouth. How could he denounce the country that gave him life? Why must he bring one country down to lift another country up? I came to realize my father had turned his back on our country; he had left it behind to rot. Nigeria might have had problems, but every country did, didn't they? I turned my attention again to the street and caught glimpse of more flags. I stared at each red, white, and blue emblem drifting in the evening breeze, boasting American principles of freedom and equality, a rich history, and the country's status as an international superpower. My confusion transitioned into envy. Indeed, America was a dream. I dreamt this same dream for my motherland.
On the first day of October, Nigeria's Independence Day, the people reflect on the state of their country and in place of the feelings of pride that independence days are intended to evoke, they are afflicted with feelings of dismay. Rather than to celebrate their past on this day, Nigerians pray for a better future.
In Nigeria, survival of the fittest is based upon how extensive one's networks are, rather than the actual skills of the individual. The country is run by people motivated by greed and consequently it fails as money falls into the wrong hands. The people are not treated as priority because these "leaders" only look out for their own best interest. Despite their country's independence, the people depend on themselves for their own prosperity and carry the nation on their backs. They are tired of being fixated in a cycle of corruption. They are tired of fending for a country that doesn't fend for them. So how do they cope? They refuse to be dragged down with their country, so they flee to "the greatest country in the world" or the likes, and never turn back. I wouldn't allow myself to be dragged down with her either. I will raise her up. The difference between my father and I is that I refuse to leave my country behind. I will turn back with more to offer than I left with. With more to offer than I would have if I stayed. Then I will take the necessary steps to reform her into what somebody will refer to as "the greatest country in the world".
Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My initial reaction was confusion. As we drove down the unfamiliar street, -- a street more uncluttered and undisturbed than the kinds I had grown up to know -- I counted up to 15 American flags in less than 20 minutes. I wondered why people would need to be reminded of what their flag looked like so often. Was there an amnesia epidemic in this country? My father had somehow noticed my curiosity even with his eyes still plastered on the road.
"Why is America the greatest country in the world?"
I was taken aback. Rather than posing an actual question, he was looking for me to verify his preconceptions. America was quite the spectacle, a fantasy almost. But I hadn't yet accepted it to be the greatest country in the world. I hadn't seen half of the world yet so how could I know? I didn't have an answer for him, so he answered it for himself.
"It's the greatest in the world because it provides equal opportunities for everybody, unlike Nigeria" he told me.
His words processed in my head as I tried to come up with a quick reply. Once more, I was at a loss for words. My father continued,
"In Nigeria, it's all about who you know. Over here, anything is possible as long as you work hard enough."
I was confused again. But this time not on the topic of flags, but rather confused on why i was slowly growing irritated. Thoughts raced through my head that I would not allow to spill through my mouth. How could he denounce the country that gave him life? Why must he bring one country down to lift another country up? I came to realize my father had turned his back on our country; he had left it behind to rot. Nigeria might have had problems, but every country did, didn't they? I turned my attention again to the street and caught glimpse of more flags. I stared at each red, white, and blue emblem drifting in the evening breeze, boasting American principles of freedom and equality, a rich history, and the country's status as an international superpower. My confusion transitioned into envy. Indeed, America was a dream. I dreamt this same dream for my motherland.
On the first day of October, Nigeria's Independence Day, the people reflect on the state of their country and in place of the feelings of pride that independence days are intended to evoke, they are afflicted with feelings of dismay. Rather than to celebrate their past on this day, Nigerians pray for a better future.
In Nigeria, survival of the fittest is based upon how extensive one's networks are, rather than the actual skills of the individual. The country is run by people motivated by greed and consequently it fails as money falls into the wrong hands. The people are not treated as priority because these "leaders" only look out for their own best interest. Despite their country's independence, the people depend on themselves for their own prosperity and carry the nation on their backs. They are tired of being fixated in a cycle of corruption. They are tired of fending for a country that doesn't fend for them. So how do they cope? They refuse to be dragged down with their country, so they flee to "the greatest country in the world" or the likes, and never turn back. I wouldn't allow myself to be dragged down with her either. I will raise her up. The difference between my father and I is that I refuse to leave my country behind. I will turn back with more to offer than I left with. With more to offer than I would have if I stayed. Then I will take the necessary steps to reform her into what somebody will refer to as "the greatest country in the world".
daisyidk
Oct 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / An Article Summary: Your Boobs Start to Eat Themselves after Breastfeeding is Over By: Linda Geddes [3]
Not bad at all!
Women's breasts consist of a network of tubes , wrapped by a ...
...said a cancer biologist at the University of Sydney in Australia, named (You can omit 'named') Matthew Naylor.
...female mice whose Rac1 gene was removed (I don't think you can say "whose" and be referring to mice. I would say "that had their Rac1 genes removed)
...The results revealed that without Rac1, chronic inflammations and swelling were activated in the breast .
And since you're summarizing, It wouldn't hurt to refer back to the original article in your summary and say something like "In the article "Your Boobs Start to Eat Themselves after Breastfeeding is Over" by Linda Geddes, she investigates the questions behind the mass cell destruction in breasts following lactation" or the likes. :)
Not bad at all!
Women's breasts consist of a network of tubes , wrapped by a ...
...said a cancer biologist at the University of Sydney in Australia, named (You can omit 'named') Matthew Naylor.
...female mice whose Rac1 gene was removed (I don't think you can say "whose" and be referring to mice. I would say "that had their Rac1 genes removed)
...The results revealed that without Rac1, chronic inflammations and swelling were activated in the breast .
And since you're summarizing, It wouldn't hurt to refer back to the original article in your summary and say something like "In the article "Your Boobs Start to Eat Themselves after Breastfeeding is Over" by Linda Geddes, she investigates the questions behind the mass cell destruction in breasts following lactation" or the likes. :)
daisyidk
Sep 7, 2016
Undergraduate / Unique Qualities / University of Michigan (essay by a conflicted and undecided student) [2]
Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests?
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"She takes hours picking out clothes and then as we're standing in line, ready to buy, she decides she doesn't want half of the stuff in her bag" complains my irritated mother to her friend on the phone, trying to explain why we're running late to a planned rendezvous. My indecisiveness has plagued me all my life. My blood pressure rises a little as waiters ask me for my order. Picking out an outfit for an important occasion takes hours of deep contemplation. My favorite color changes every time I meet a new person. So you can imagine my fright at the question "What do you want to do for the rest of your life?" Although I have yet to develop a solid answer to this question, I believe I have found University of Michigan's College of the Literature, Science, and the Arts to be the school for me. With it's vast curriculum, LSA provides me with the opportunity to explore fields until I can find my calling. Additional to the college's bearing of abundant resources, LSA also retains the characteristics of Michigan which captivate me such as the ability to translate ambition and hard work into successful results.
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OK LISTEN! This particular writing occurred over a span of like less than 30 minutes. I just need opinions on whether the GIST of what I'm writing is interesting enough to become the essay that I do send. To expand or not to expand, that is the question. Like on a scale of 1-10 how attractive is this idea? Could it stand out? Is it wise to even be proud of being undecided like this? Should I be ashamed? Totally understand if you think this is complete and utter garbage. Totally open to scrapping this and forgetting I ever wrote it.
Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School (including preferred admission and dual degree programs) to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests?
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"She takes hours picking out clothes and then as we're standing in line, ready to buy, she decides she doesn't want half of the stuff in her bag" complains my irritated mother to her friend on the phone, trying to explain why we're running late to a planned rendezvous. My indecisiveness has plagued me all my life. My blood pressure rises a little as waiters ask me for my order. Picking out an outfit for an important occasion takes hours of deep contemplation. My favorite color changes every time I meet a new person. So you can imagine my fright at the question "What do you want to do for the rest of your life?" Although I have yet to develop a solid answer to this question, I believe I have found University of Michigan's College of the Literature, Science, and the Arts to be the school for me. With it's vast curriculum, LSA provides me with the opportunity to explore fields until I can find my calling. Additional to the college's bearing of abundant resources, LSA also retains the characteristics of Michigan which captivate me such as the ability to translate ambition and hard work into successful results.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK LISTEN! This particular writing occurred over a span of like less than 30 minutes. I just need opinions on whether the GIST of what I'm writing is interesting enough to become the essay that I do send. To expand or not to expand, that is the question. Like on a scale of 1-10 how attractive is this idea? Could it stand out? Is it wise to even be proud of being undecided like this? Should I be ashamed? Totally understand if you think this is complete and utter garbage. Totally open to scrapping this and forgetting I ever wrote it.
