Writing Feedback / The shown line graph indicates the readers' changes of Starmouth School library [3]

Dear @hujjatul19,

With the line graph, you have to use the past tense for all the verbs. Also, there are problems with your usage of noun, for example "male" or "female". So I think that you can access to the website grammar base to fix these mistakes. It will show you where the mistakes are for free and you dont have to register or create any account.

Best luck to your IELTS - from a former test - taker :)

Scholarship / What do your parents think about your studying in Japan? (unlimited words) [7]

Dear@Thicun,

I'm sorry for replying your comment this late. I've ready your suggestions and for me, they are totally great ideas which will make my essay become more convinced. So, I have been editing it, adding a few more information about my preparation for studying abroad and correcting some words.

This is my recent draft. Would you like to have a look at it again? Red words, phrases and lines are my corrections from the previous one.

Once again, thank you for your contribution. I really appreciate it :)
Topic for the subordinate essay: What do your parents think about your studying in Japan? (unlimited words)

Questions to safety, supporting network and so on used to concern my parents with my choice for the next 4 years. The rewards, which are to reach far beyond academic, to open minds and to create international friendships, are immense; however, it still rattled the nerves of them. Fortunately, through detailed discussions, they totally believed that Japan would be a host country fitting me best.

To explore countermeasures for concerns, they attended seminars with me and did research about the school I would chase for higher education. Knowing that disaster drills are provided and an abundance of organizations founded to aid international alumni, my parents felt partly relieved for this patronization. I was also required to learn more about Japan, equipped with money management skills and taught to stay healthy whilst studying abroad.

Communication problems are stress-causing as well. With Skype and other video technologies, I can touch base with the folks back home. Nonetheless , being exposed to Japanese, which is one of the hardest languages, matters most. Therefore, my parents registered a beginner class for me as a solution to make sure I will not constrive to live if I study here. Besides, I participated in voluntary work for events of Japanese universities to practice my language commands too.

Another issue discussed is financial one. I consulted from some forums about the living fees in Japan and started planning fiscally with my parents to solve their worries. Estimation reports written by me were handed in to them for further deliberation as well.

Most importantly, they discerned that I am ready both academically to enter another learning environment and to leave the nest.Feeling worried was normal but letting me fly into the sky and trusting were needed for my maturity. Through this aventure, they attached credence to that I could get over difficulties, grow up and succeed in my chosen career.(314 words)

P/s: Can I have your facebook or email or other social network accounts of yours for easier discussion? Thank you. :)

Scholarship / What do your parents think about your studying in Japan? (unlimited words) [7]

Hi@Thicun,

Thank you for your correction and contribution to my essay. I really appreciate your help. :)

Can I ask you one more thing? How should I add to my essay about my contributions towards my future? Only 1 or 2 sentences would be fine, right?

Thank you once again.

Sincerely,
Jamie.

Scholarship / What do your parents think about your studying in Japan? (unlimited words) [7]

Hi@ichanpants89,

Thank you for your contribution to my essay, and I'm also sorry for this late response. For the last 3 days, I have been trying to re-write my essay and I really hope that It can get some of your corrections as well.

Once again, thank you very much for reading my essay. I really appreciate your help.

My essay:

Questions to safety, supporting network and so on used to concern my parents with my choice for the next 4 years. The rewards, which are to reach far beyond academic, to open minds and to create international friendships, are immense; however, it still rattled the nerves of them. Fortunately, through detailed discussions, they totally believed that Japan would be a host country fitting me best.

To explore countermeasures for concerns, they attended seminars with me and did research about the school I would chase for higher education. Knowing that disaster drills are provided and an abundance of organizations founded to aid international alumni, my parents felt partly relieved for this patronization. I was also required to learn more about Japan, equipped with money management skills and taught to stay healthy whilst studying abroad.

Communication problems are stress-causing as well. With Skype and other contractual applications, I can
touch base with the folks back home. However, being exposed to Japanese, which is one of the hardest languages, matters most. Therefore, my parents registered a class for beginners like me as a solution so that they can make sure I will not constrive to live if I study in Japan.

Another issue discussed is financial one. I was encouraged to apply for scholarships and informed of the budget that they could afford annually. We also consulted from some forums about the living fees in Japan and started planning fiscally.

Most importantly, they discerned that I am ready both academically to enter another learning environment and to leave the nest. My mother knew feeling worried was normal but she realized that letting me fly into the sky and trusting were needed for my maturity. They attached credence to that I could get over difficulties and grow up through this adventure.(297 words)