Anne25
Aug 12, 2009
Writing Feedback / "the personal consumption of butter" - IELTS task 1 Homework 1 [2]
Dear Team
I would like to improve my IELTS from 5 to 7 so that i can apply to study Master in business.My language mother is not English,that is why i am here.
Today i am writing my first essay for task 1.You can not see graphs,line chard,bar graphs...just correct my essay spelling,word formation, grammar and help me use a good variety of appropriate vocabulary.Thank you very much for your kindness.
Essay No1:
This graph shows the personal consumption (in grams) of butter, margarine and low-fat or reduced-fat spreads per week. during the period 1971 to 1997. It can be clearly seen that there was a gradual downward trend in both butter and margarine for over the last decade, and a corresponding jump steadily in low-and reduced-fat spreads.
Butter was the most well known fat at the beginning of the period, and consumption reached a peak of 150 grams per person per week in about 1975. For more than twenty years then, there has been dropped considerably. By the year 1981, the consumption of margarine exceeded slightly that of butter for the first time, they remained constant by 120 grams for nearly five years, but since 1987 there has been declined significantly in the consumption of margarine, which seems set to continue. Low-fat spreads were introduced in 1984,and there has been grown rapidly from 10 to 80 grams in their consumption since 1995.
By the end of the study, low-fat spreads were more popular than either butter or margarine.
Dear Team
I would like to improve my IELTS from 5 to 7 so that i can apply to study Master in business.My language mother is not English,that is why i am here.
Today i am writing my first essay for task 1.You can not see graphs,line chard,bar graphs...just correct my essay spelling,word formation, grammar and help me use a good variety of appropriate vocabulary.Thank you very much for your kindness.
Essay No1:
This graph shows the personal consumption (in grams) of butter, margarine and low-fat or reduced-fat spreads per week. during the period 1971 to 1997. It can be clearly seen that there was a gradual downward trend in both butter and margarine for over the last decade, and a corresponding jump steadily in low-and reduced-fat spreads.
Butter was the most well known fat at the beginning of the period, and consumption reached a peak of 150 grams per person per week in about 1975. For more than twenty years then, there has been dropped considerably. By the year 1981, the consumption of margarine exceeded slightly that of butter for the first time, they remained constant by 120 grams for nearly five years, but since 1987 there has been declined significantly in the consumption of margarine, which seems set to continue. Low-fat spreads were introduced in 1984,and there has been grown rapidly from 10 to 80 grams in their consumption since 1995.
By the end of the study, low-fat spreads were more popular than either butter or margarine.
