arsdtbk
Aug 16, 2009
Writing Feedback / We are blessed with modern tools; Modern technology [8]
I have checked : be aware of is correct :)
I have checked : be aware of is correct :)
arsdtbk
Aug 15, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL; Television Versus Friends and family [13]
Oh, I guess this is your first writing.
To improve the speed of writing in your exam, you need write as much as and read samples essays as much as you can, hence, your skill will improve naturally.
+ you can study through topics,to improve vocabulary as well as ideas
+ you should study variety of structures to write sentence easily and faster. For me, I read news on the internet,then, I noted good structures which were written by experts.
+ You can search and download easily a book: "Longman Essay Activator", it's many benefits.
Good luck.
Oh, I guess this is your first writing.
To improve the speed of writing in your exam, you need write as much as and read samples essays as much as you can, hence, your skill will improve naturally.
+ you can study through topics,to improve vocabulary as well as ideas
+ you should study variety of structures to write sentence easily and faster. For me, I read news on the internet,then, I noted good structures which were written by experts.
+ You can search and download easily a book: "Longman Essay Activator", it's many benefits.
Good luck.
arsdtbk
Aug 14, 2009
Writing Feedback / Essay about important characteristics of a co-worker. [5]
ok, right, when I compare with the past, this characteristic is as vital as now.
thanks
ok, right, when I compare with the past, this characteristic is as vital as now.
thanks
arsdtbk
Aug 14, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL; Television Versus Friends and family [13]
Yes, I will think carefully about the object.
TV view is important object.
thanks very much.
Yes, I will think carefully about the object.
TV view is important object.
thanks very much.
arsdtbk
Aug 14, 2009
Writing Feedback / We are blessed with modern tools; Modern technology [8]
I give comment on third paragraph:
Nevertheless, for every solution, technology provides twice as many problems are likely to cause. The modern technology is to some extent underlying causes of negative things in our society. It's Internet(no abbreviation and need 'the' before Internet) = the Internet, for instance, provides an accessible medium for bad[=disapproved - more formal] elements such as pornography and crimesand so on[use in speaking]. T he teenagers who are not conscious enough tend to imitate the sexual and violenceviolent clips and images on the internet. A typical example of this is the massacre in an American school [:| :|] . A pupil killed his classmates by his father 's gun simply because he only acted as a clip he saw --> [An action such as killing classmates by father's gun of a pupil was followed by some severe clips on the internet] . Moreover, the average rate of girls who are pregnant is very soon because of sexual images's influence.[why???, I think it is funny]
I think you can change the example in this paragraph :)
1, In conclusion, similar to everything,
2, advantages and disadvantages; benefits and drawbacks; merit and demerit - sound like better.
3. People should be awareof technology's role to solve its bad effects.
I give comment on third paragraph:
Nevertheless, for every solution, technology provides twice as many problems are likely to cause. The modern technology is to some extent underlying causes of negative things in our society. It's Internet(no abbreviation and need 'the' before Internet) = the Internet, for instance, provides an accessible medium for bad[=disapproved - more formal] elements such as pornography and crimes
I think you can change the example in this paragraph :)
In conclusion. similar to everything. modern technology has both advantages and drawbacks. I personally think that it depends on how we use the modern tools. People should aware of technology's role to solve its bad effects
1, In conclusion, similar to everything,
2, advantages and disadvantages; benefits and drawbacks; merit and demerit - sound like better.
3. People should be aware
arsdtbk
Aug 14, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL; Television Versus Friends and family [13]
I think using passive voice will be better:
Many people will be isolated from others in general and communication among members in families will probably be damaged in particular.
However, I think, the meaning of your sentence has problem.
My writing skill is not good but I am aware that your essay has many grammatical errors.
Thus I hope that an experts will help you.
" this will isolate people from other, damage communication among family's members and sow division"
Could i add this sentence to be a thesis statement?
And what is another phrase for " sow division"
Could i add this sentence to be a thesis statement?
And what is another phrase for " sow division"
I think using passive voice will be better:
Many people will be isolated from others in general and communication among members in families will probably be damaged in particular.
However, I think, the meaning of your sentence has problem.
My writing skill is not good but I am aware that your essay has many grammatical errors.
Thus I hope that an experts will help you.
arsdtbk
Aug 13, 2009
Writing Feedback / Essay about important characteristics of a co-worker. [5]
thanks your comment.
By way of illustration = for instance = for example
snug , yes, my mistake :). I change it to satisfied
thanks your comment.
By way of illustration = for instance = for example
snug , yes, my mistake :). I change it to satisfied
arsdtbk
Aug 13, 2009
Writing Feedback / Essay about important characteristics of a co-worker. [5]
Hello everyone,
I am a newbie in this essay forum. I am preparing IELTS exam to study oversea. I really want to improve my writing skill. I have read many threads in this interesting and useful 4rum and now I post one.
Please, check (grammar, vocab) and comment for my writing.
Thanks so much >:D<
IELTS Writing task2
We all work or will work in our jobs with many different kinds of people. In your opinion, what are some important characteristics of a co-worker (someone you work closely with)?
Use reasons and specific examples to explain why these characteristics are important.
At present, we are living and communicating with many types of people in society in general and working with those in particular. As far as I am concerned, some vital characteristics of a colleague are well-qualified, highly committed to the work and inspirable to other workmates.
The most essential quality of a co-worker today is well-qualified because this will contribute greatly to both colleagues and the company. A co-worker with good skills and knowledge is very comfortable to work with and the quality of tasks will be ensured.
Generally, this characteristic reveals that the person has perceived good education and training and often work with well-organized plan.
Having high responsibility and commitment to work is also a necessary characteristic of a co-worker. By way of illustration, a punctual member will help his or her team be successful in meeting deadlines. Moreover, a team with members who are highly committed to the task can achieve high performance. When working together, it will be really annoying to other people if their colleague is always late or does not concentrate on the job. Therefore, commitment and responsibility are among the most appreciated qualities of a co-worker.
The last but not least important characteristic is motivating other colleagues at work. In other words, this means a co-worker is inspirable to his or her workmates. Supporting and appreciating the work of others will create a great working environment. Colleagues will be enthusiastic about working; they will work more effectively, thus improving their skills. Hence, there is no doubt that company or corporation will be stably developed; all members will be satisfied and feel a strong bond between them and their company.
To sum up, it is obvious that all members of corporation will feel snug and having a great time working with people having significant characteristics above. From my point of view, these virtues will bring about great impacts on colleagues such as improving their skills, their knowledge and passions towards their jobs.
Hello everyone,
I am a newbie in this essay forum. I am preparing IELTS exam to study oversea. I really want to improve my writing skill. I have read many threads in this interesting and useful 4rum and now I post one.
Please, check (grammar, vocab) and comment for my writing.
Thanks so much >:D<
IELTS Writing task2
We all work or will work in our jobs with many different kinds of people. In your opinion, what are some important characteristics of a co-worker (someone you work closely with)?
Use reasons and specific examples to explain why these characteristics are important.
At present, we are living and communicating with many types of people in society in general and working with those in particular. As far as I am concerned, some vital characteristics of a colleague are well-qualified, highly committed to the work and inspirable to other workmates.
The most essential quality of a co-worker today is well-qualified because this will contribute greatly to both colleagues and the company. A co-worker with good skills and knowledge is very comfortable to work with and the quality of tasks will be ensured.
Generally, this characteristic reveals that the person has perceived good education and training and often work with well-organized plan.
Having high responsibility and commitment to work is also a necessary characteristic of a co-worker. By way of illustration, a punctual member will help his or her team be successful in meeting deadlines. Moreover, a team with members who are highly committed to the task can achieve high performance. When working together, it will be really annoying to other people if their colleague is always late or does not concentrate on the job. Therefore, commitment and responsibility are among the most appreciated qualities of a co-worker.
The last but not least important characteristic is motivating other colleagues at work. In other words, this means a co-worker is inspirable to his or her workmates. Supporting and appreciating the work of others will create a great working environment. Colleagues will be enthusiastic about working; they will work more effectively, thus improving their skills. Hence, there is no doubt that company or corporation will be stably developed; all members will be satisfied and feel a strong bond between them and their company.
To sum up, it is obvious that all members of corporation will feel snug and having a great time working with people having significant characteristics above. From my point of view, these virtues will bring about great impacts on colleagues such as improving their skills, their knowledge and passions towards their jobs.
