euphorain
Oct 28, 2016
Undergraduate / Paragraph from common app prompt #5. Coffee as an obstacle in life, will revise back [2]
I'd like to know if there are any grammatical errors and how I'd be able to improve the connection/relating of coffee to an obstacle. Currently I feel as if it's choppy and incoherent at points. Thank you!
Frequenting the cafe, I gradually drowned my coffee with less and less creamer and sugar until it was at its original state: pure black coffee. One day, I took a sip and for a split-second, I relished the unique mellow nutty tones of my drink. I came to a realization: coffee is just like an obstacle in one's life. At first, coffee had a bitter earthy taste which I loathed. When a new obstacle emerges, it is often bitter and problematic as we are unsure about the best course of action due to the unfamiliarity of the situation. Because I despised the flavor, I attempted to conceal it by overwhelming my drink with creamer and sugar. Much like this, when presented with an obstacle, one would seek to hide the problem as a means of evading it. However over time, I slowly adapted to the flavor I once abhorred. Similarly, in life, one adjusts their life to fit the inevitable obstacle into their lives despite being unable to find comfort at the start. Rather than avoiding it, by integrating it into one's life, they're able benefit from what was on ce an obstacle. For me, coffee now lets me experience more in my day to day life from both the restless nights I stay up hopping with energy and the infinite possibilities on my journey to various cafes.
I'd like to know if there are any grammatical errors and how I'd be able to improve the connection/relating of coffee to an obstacle. Currently I feel as if it's choppy and incoherent at points. Thank you!
Frequenting the cafe, I gradually drowned my coffee with less and less creamer and sugar until it was at its original state: pure black coffee. One day, I took a sip and for a split-second, I relished the unique mellow nutty tones of my drink. I came to a realization: coffee is just like an obstacle in one's life. At first, coffee had a bitter earthy taste which I loathed. When a new obstacle emerges, it is often bitter and problematic as we are unsure about the best course of action due to the unfamiliarity of the situation. Because I despised the flavor, I attempted to conceal it by overwhelming my drink with creamer and sugar. Much like this, when presented with an obstacle, one would seek to hide the problem as a means of evading it. However over time, I slowly adapted to the flavor I once abhorred. Similarly, in life, one adjusts their life to fit the inevitable obstacle into their lives despite being unable to find comfort at the start. Rather than avoiding it, by integrating it into one's life, they're able benefit from what was on ce an obstacle. For me, coffee now lets me experience more in my day to day life from both the restless nights I stay up hopping with energy and the infinite possibilities on my journey to various cafes.
