'I have sent you already our photos' - A letter to my father

Hello dad,

I have sent you already our photos. It's quite funny because after not using my phone for 3 days because I thought it was not working already but when I charged my phone, it was working and I think my phone was just hang and I don't know why. But thankfully I have not spent money for my phone. Actually this iPhone was just given to me by my cousin as a gift during my graduation in high school; she bought me this in Saudi Arabia because she is a nurse there. Even my parents cannot afford me to buy luxury things.

I am compiling my school requirements because I am planning to study in TESDA (Technical Education And Skills Development Authority) it is much cheaper and I can have OJT and training NCII as soon as possible. I want to study Commercial Cooking NC II, Food Processing NC II and Household Services NC II (vocational course) any of this choice. But still I am waiting for my mother's decision because she will be the one to take care off. And I don't know yet when I can enroll because I am still depending on her I don't want to disturb her yet Because I know she has many dept to pay first.

Anyway dad, I will jut email you what is happening us here in the Philippines. Please take care of yourself and be safe always.

Love
henie

Hi,
First, it is good for us to know the purpose of writing this letter to provide you with more meaningful and relevant comments. Is this for preparing for TOEFL, IELTS ? Or is this a personal letter you wrote to your dad to update him about your whereabouts? Anyway, since this is a letter to your dad, it falls into the informal category. But, as per the general norms, you start a letter by greeting the person for courtesy sake.

this is a personal letter. please help me revise this. thankyou

Letter to my father

Ok... anyways, generally you begin your essay by greeting the person and showing more courtesy. So I'd suggest to include a sentence or two like'

Hope you are keeping well / Hope you are keeping in good health


This sentence is too long and also not delivering a clear idea. Break it into a few lines to arrange a better flow for your ideas.


Well.... your ideas are not logically linked. She bought you a phone as she had money and not because you had been a nurse :(