I have to do a poetry project which includes me writing 8 different types of poetry. Here are some I have already done, can you please look at them and give my any advice.
Limerick
There once was a boy from York,
who thought he had sat on a fork.
There was a huge yelp, he was screaming for help.
Then realised it was only a cork.
Diamante
Life,
sense, feelings,
joys, sorrows, happiness,
sadness, change, stillness, imobile,
darkness, insignificance,
into the uknown
Death.
Haiku
The power of wind,
scouring diverse landscapes,
invisible beast.
They look pretty good to me. You seem to have a strong sense of what each poem should do. What are the other 5 types you need to work on?
I have also chosen to do a cinquain, concrete and couplet poem as well as a poem about me and also one about a sense. This is what I have so far if you could look at them and give me any advice.
cinquain
Flower,
Beautiful, colourful,
Developing, blossoming, flourishing,
Spring is finally here,
Tulip.
Couplet
Rain, rain, keeps falling down,
and all around the children frown.
Sense poem - Happiness
Happiness,
the feeling you get when all goes right.
When you ge the sudden rush of energy from your success
and burst into dance.
The feeling you get when your mind
flows free from the dark clutches of sorrow,
when you are overcome by a sense of joy.
The feeling you get when you realise your
hard work and time have finally paid off.
When nothing can bring you down at that moment.
Happiness.
Concrete
The
Trees.
Being cut down
Slowly choking our planet.
Hundreds more as the days go by.
How much longer can this go on. Will we
Will we live to see
the end.
Trees.
These are great, and you have a unique style as a poet. I wonder if you play any instruments; someone who understands expression through poetry should always make sure to learn at least one instrument well. Good lyrics deserve musical accompaniment.
You have a little typo in this last poem -- concrete, the one about trees. "Will we," make sure you fix that before turning it in. Also consider using question marks in that one.
In the haiku, I wonder if the "power" of wind could not be replaces with something better. The "beast" is not the power; the beast is the wind. How about, in the first line, replacing "power" with an adjective to describe the wind.
The (something), (something)wind
scouring diverse...
Wow, you're really good at this. It is difficult to find anything to criticize. I'd say maybe you could do a bit more with the concrete poem. You have a couple of neat line breaks, but you could certainly move things about to create more obviously concrete visual effects.
Thank you, i will make the change to the haiku and concrete poems. I am really glad you were so positive as I have been really anxious about doing this project as I don't consider it one of my better subjects!
You seem to have an excellent grasp of what poetry requires, so you have no reason to be anxious. Are you going to have to write any metrical poems (sonnets, ballads, the like?)
I like the rhythm of your poems. I can say as a poet, I notice that you give more attention to the rhythmic than creating words with feelings, with a personal touch or words that encourage thinking. You could be a good writing song. Remember the differences between poetry, rhyme, poems, and verses.
I really like your poems. I am currently doing a poetry unit in school. Youve done an amazing job of following the "rules" of poetry .
