Review,
In review of my first draft my points of concern are as follows. First, I have struggled with my thesis statement since the beginning of the class. For some reason, I still don't understand what I am doing wrong. Also, I am concerned that my topic sentences do not relate to the thesis as directly as they should and will that be an even bigger problem if I have a bad thesis?
Next, I am curious to see if I used enough of my own ideas since I do struggle with getting my opinions across without having the use of first person. When my peer reviews is complete I will look especially hard at these areas as well as any other major flaws they point out. I have not yet received the feedback I would need to tell you which was more surprising.
Giving Dropouts a Reason to Stay in School
Romaine Rensch
English 102
Rough Draft
Romaine Rensch
English 102
Professor McBride
November 2nd, 2013
Giving Dropouts a Reason to Stay in School
American daily life is always changing. In the 1970s men dropping out of high school were still able to support their families and make a decent living. These days, dropping out of high school is practically economic suicide. In 2008 54% of high school dropouts were declared unemployed; this compared to only 13% of those with a degree (Dillon, P.1). In 2009 the average income for high school dropouts was less than half the wages earned by one with a four year college degree (Simmons P.1). In order to lower the high school drop out rates, that are negatively effecting America, the education system must consider alternative schooling methods and easier access to after school activities.
The problem, high school dropouts negatively effect society and the individual in multiple ways. American expenses are funded by the tax payer. One of the major expenses is its' prison system. In fact, every time a child drops out of school it cost society $292,000.00 with a majority of that cost going towards incarceration (Dillon P.1). Unfortunately, incarceration is not the only major expense of this epidemic. One Laura Simmons, a Social Research Specialist at UNC Charlotte Urban Institute and the director of the Charlotte Regional Indicators Project, notes her own astounding research on the impact every high school drop out has on society:
"Lower earnings and wealth for people without diplomas affect local, state, and national economies through reduced buying power, lower tax revenues, diminished worker productivity and more spending on social assistance programs. Further, states and cities with less educated populations find it harder to attract new business investment, " (Simmons P.1).
While Simmons and Dillon effectively highlight the backlash created by every high school dropout on society with facts from the U.S. department of Education and other research methods, there are other major issues that handicap the dropouts themselves as individuals. America is perhaps the most competitive country today. The pressure to constantly better ones self is more relevant than ever. By dropping out of school, these students limit their own potential drastically. The ability for them to achieve a desirable quality of life becomes more difficult. Education is a building block to happiness. It enables one to join the work force with options and different careers. This is opposed to settling for miserable jobs that only provide an income. Of course, dropping out of high school does not necessarily mean that college is no longer available. Now days it is easier than ever to obtain a GED and seek a college education. Yet, doing this directly out of high school provides no gaps in one's education process and need for review, opens the door to more scholarships and speeds up the process to obtaining that desirable career.
Perhaps the most disturbing, negative impact pertaining to high school dropouts is the overwhelming amount of which are minorities. The dropout rates of young African Americans, Hispanics and other ethnic minorities are more than double the rate of whites (Petit P. 2). According to Achil Petit, recipient of the Master of Science Degree in Education Administration and Ed.D. Program in Executive Leadership, one in four of those dropouts are incarcerated every day in America (P. 1). There are many reasons behind the struggles minorities face in the education system. Yet, no issues weigh as heavily on minorities in America as race. Scholars in the United States have looked at racial issues through the lens of the Critical Race Theory, or CRT. Dating back to Brown vs. Board of Education and when the US finally decided to end segregation, the CRT is the study of how people see race (P. 5). As an ignorant form of discrimination, racism has mostly died out. Yet, the differences associated within each race and culture are are clearly visible to everyone in society. Whether or not belligerent discrimination is taking place does not effect one simple fact, America is predominately white. Why is this important? This fact has a subtle, but measurable effect on minorities. Reason being, minorities inside of American schooling structures see themselves as outside the dominant race, even to this day (29). For minorities not to feel like a part of the general cultural in a schooling system, leads them to believe the community also views them as outsiders. This internal struggle instills beliefs that they may have separate values and ambitions, when really they also want the best for themselves. Regardless, the more separation between the minority and the community, than the more minorities feel they should find other paths than the norm. A report by Samantha Kane Salvador, M.A., for the Larry King Foundation of Building Children's Futures, gives a detailed report of what occurrences are common predictors for future high school dropouts. Perhaps the biggest indications are reading levels among kindergarten through 5th grade (Salvador P. 3). For minorities, this is another issue. According to Russell Rumberger, a Professor of Education in Santa Barbra and focuses most of his time on understanding and helping high school drop outs, minorities make a majority of poverty stricken areas where early adolescent education centers are not up to par because of the lack of funds they are provided to establish their faculty (Rumberg P. 9). Needles to say, when it comes to America's educational driven society, most minorities feel like outsiders and some feel they have not been given the necessary tools to become insiders.
Most people today are not fully aware of the negative impact high school dropouts have on America. Yet, some of the difference makers who are aware of these issues have achieved some great results in experimenting with alternative schooling strategies. As stated before, even though schools are no longer segregated that does not mean that minorities no longer feel separation between themselves and whites. One school took drastic and controversial measures to attack this issue. Amazingly, this school received equal results. In recognizing that minorities still felt like outsiders, the Bronx's Eagle Academy High School put those minorities into a majority (Petit P.7). By becoming the Eagle Academy High School for Young Men they desegregated their students by gender and ensured that every student shared similar, community values. Eagle Academy gave each of their students in 2009 an assessment test that found their strength areas, and then they focused on those positive highlights (P. 14). They were then given attendance and lunch incentives followed by after school programs designed to completely maximize young mens success, ability to work effectively and learn the necessary items that provide obtainable routes to a college education (P.15). Mentor programs are set forth by not for profit organizations, and the school gives every parent an open door policy and a list of expectation on them, the student and their highly qualified teachers (P. 18). None of these changes would have mattered if they hadn't provided such outstanding results. From 2009 on, Eagle Academy has graduated 85% of its' student annually as opposed to surrounding schools 49%, and 87% of its' ethnic minority students have received diplomas annually as opposed to the surrounding schools that average a 41% percent graduation rate among their minority students (P. 10). In ratio to the entire nation, Eagle Academy may be a small sample size. Even so, it is important to see the positive results they have received by taking the Critical Race Theory a step further. By acknowledging that minorities still feel separate from community, even with the historical legal measures that have been taken, they came to realize which social needs were not being met. This alternative schooling strategy worked in one of the more poor areas in America and without any significant economic assistance (P. 12). High school as a nation is a very cliquey culture. In a teen's awkward stage of growth they search for what is most comfortable, whether that is race, religion or sexuality. School districts should take constant measures to bring all students towards one common goal, and create a culture outside of race, religion and sexuality that they can comfortably adapt to as a whole. For example, if high schools had more specialized subject material similar to college and gave students accountability to each other through organized academic teams, than they would have similar values to one and other regardless of race, religion or sexuality. Thus eliminating any minority in a classroom and installing one dominating society with 100% membership.
After school activities must expand to modernized needs of today's youth, without giving up any tradition, and encourage easy access to these functions. Most school structures have athletic programs that scratch the surface of this epidemic without realization. Team sports give participants a set of common values to share and work towards. Explaining why most athletes take more pride in their school than other students that do not participate in extracurricular activities. Yet, not all team members are treated equally, and with the popularity sports has socially in America and on television those more gifted athletes become popular figures. This than creates a minority among those less gifted and devaluation of oneself if their not performing to a schools high expectations. Sports are extremely relevant in America, understandably they are here to stay. Why are so many student going through high school without an extracurricular activity? Marching bands are great, but music today has changed and adapted to America's fast paced movement. Yet, very few high schools offer musical education that is relevant today. Rap, Hip-hop, heavy metal and pop our what students today want to listen to. Regardless, our education offers very few opportunities to learn more in about those subjects. Even athletics might be taking a back seat to the technological age. Teenagers want to learn the ins and outs of computers, graphics, video gaming, web based development and social media. Yet, high school mostly stays behind the times and does not explore these areas deeply enough for any interested parties. Schools need to take more time in hearing from their students and find out exactly what would keep them in school. More importantly, what would keep them happy in school.
In 2004, 600,000 kids dropped out of high school and by 2009 that cost the US government over 40 billion dollars in health care assistance alone (P. 12). More important than the economic hit, are the negative correlations one is associated with after handicapping their own potential by dropping out school. Socially they are now seen differently and statistically likely to fall into poverty or even incarceration. When a child quits on their own education, America as a nation suffers from lack of productivity (P. 12). No single individual is unaffected by this issue and yet most don't even realize the colossal impact it has. Americans must start educating themselves and asking those who have been directly impacted by this about what difficulties it has caused for them. Life is long, school is hard and earning an income gets even more tedious and difficult. Why do American's insist on keeping the educational system unenjoyable for its' students? Drastic measures to make school a communal atmosphere and place of happiness should be taken to ensure students are staying in school to to better themselves as much as possible.
In review of my first draft my points of concern are as follows. First, I have struggled with my thesis statement since the beginning of the class. For some reason, I still don't understand what I am doing wrong. Also, I am concerned that my topic sentences do not relate to the thesis as directly as they should and will that be an even bigger problem if I have a bad thesis?
Next, I am curious to see if I used enough of my own ideas since I do struggle with getting my opinions across without having the use of first person. When my peer reviews is complete I will look especially hard at these areas as well as any other major flaws they point out. I have not yet received the feedback I would need to tell you which was more surprising.
Giving Dropouts a Reason to Stay in School
Romaine Rensch
English 102
Rough Draft
Romaine Rensch
English 102
Professor McBride
November 2nd, 2013
Giving Dropouts a Reason to Stay in School
American daily life is always changing. In the 1970s men dropping out of high school were still able to support their families and make a decent living. These days, dropping out of high school is practically economic suicide. In 2008 54% of high school dropouts were declared unemployed; this compared to only 13% of those with a degree (Dillon, P.1). In 2009 the average income for high school dropouts was less than half the wages earned by one with a four year college degree (Simmons P.1). In order to lower the high school drop out rates, that are negatively effecting America, the education system must consider alternative schooling methods and easier access to after school activities.
The problem, high school dropouts negatively effect society and the individual in multiple ways. American expenses are funded by the tax payer. One of the major expenses is its' prison system. In fact, every time a child drops out of school it cost society $292,000.00 with a majority of that cost going towards incarceration (Dillon P.1). Unfortunately, incarceration is not the only major expense of this epidemic. One Laura Simmons, a Social Research Specialist at UNC Charlotte Urban Institute and the director of the Charlotte Regional Indicators Project, notes her own astounding research on the impact every high school drop out has on society:
"Lower earnings and wealth for people without diplomas affect local, state, and national economies through reduced buying power, lower tax revenues, diminished worker productivity and more spending on social assistance programs. Further, states and cities with less educated populations find it harder to attract new business investment, " (Simmons P.1).
While Simmons and Dillon effectively highlight the backlash created by every high school dropout on society with facts from the U.S. department of Education and other research methods, there are other major issues that handicap the dropouts themselves as individuals. America is perhaps the most competitive country today. The pressure to constantly better ones self is more relevant than ever. By dropping out of school, these students limit their own potential drastically. The ability for them to achieve a desirable quality of life becomes more difficult. Education is a building block to happiness. It enables one to join the work force with options and different careers. This is opposed to settling for miserable jobs that only provide an income. Of course, dropping out of high school does not necessarily mean that college is no longer available. Now days it is easier than ever to obtain a GED and seek a college education. Yet, doing this directly out of high school provides no gaps in one's education process and need for review, opens the door to more scholarships and speeds up the process to obtaining that desirable career.
Perhaps the most disturbing, negative impact pertaining to high school dropouts is the overwhelming amount of which are minorities. The dropout rates of young African Americans, Hispanics and other ethnic minorities are more than double the rate of whites (Petit P. 2). According to Achil Petit, recipient of the Master of Science Degree in Education Administration and Ed.D. Program in Executive Leadership, one in four of those dropouts are incarcerated every day in America (P. 1). There are many reasons behind the struggles minorities face in the education system. Yet, no issues weigh as heavily on minorities in America as race. Scholars in the United States have looked at racial issues through the lens of the Critical Race Theory, or CRT. Dating back to Brown vs. Board of Education and when the US finally decided to end segregation, the CRT is the study of how people see race (P. 5). As an ignorant form of discrimination, racism has mostly died out. Yet, the differences associated within each race and culture are are clearly visible to everyone in society. Whether or not belligerent discrimination is taking place does not effect one simple fact, America is predominately white. Why is this important? This fact has a subtle, but measurable effect on minorities. Reason being, minorities inside of American schooling structures see themselves as outside the dominant race, even to this day (29). For minorities not to feel like a part of the general cultural in a schooling system, leads them to believe the community also views them as outsiders. This internal struggle instills beliefs that they may have separate values and ambitions, when really they also want the best for themselves. Regardless, the more separation between the minority and the community, than the more minorities feel they should find other paths than the norm. A report by Samantha Kane Salvador, M.A., for the Larry King Foundation of Building Children's Futures, gives a detailed report of what occurrences are common predictors for future high school dropouts. Perhaps the biggest indications are reading levels among kindergarten through 5th grade (Salvador P. 3). For minorities, this is another issue. According to Russell Rumberger, a Professor of Education in Santa Barbra and focuses most of his time on understanding and helping high school drop outs, minorities make a majority of poverty stricken areas where early adolescent education centers are not up to par because of the lack of funds they are provided to establish their faculty (Rumberg P. 9). Needles to say, when it comes to America's educational driven society, most minorities feel like outsiders and some feel they have not been given the necessary tools to become insiders.
Most people today are not fully aware of the negative impact high school dropouts have on America. Yet, some of the difference makers who are aware of these issues have achieved some great results in experimenting with alternative schooling strategies. As stated before, even though schools are no longer segregated that does not mean that minorities no longer feel separation between themselves and whites. One school took drastic and controversial measures to attack this issue. Amazingly, this school received equal results. In recognizing that minorities still felt like outsiders, the Bronx's Eagle Academy High School put those minorities into a majority (Petit P.7). By becoming the Eagle Academy High School for Young Men they desegregated their students by gender and ensured that every student shared similar, community values. Eagle Academy gave each of their students in 2009 an assessment test that found their strength areas, and then they focused on those positive highlights (P. 14). They were then given attendance and lunch incentives followed by after school programs designed to completely maximize young mens success, ability to work effectively and learn the necessary items that provide obtainable routes to a college education (P.15). Mentor programs are set forth by not for profit organizations, and the school gives every parent an open door policy and a list of expectation on them, the student and their highly qualified teachers (P. 18). None of these changes would have mattered if they hadn't provided such outstanding results. From 2009 on, Eagle Academy has graduated 85% of its' student annually as opposed to surrounding schools 49%, and 87% of its' ethnic minority students have received diplomas annually as opposed to the surrounding schools that average a 41% percent graduation rate among their minority students (P. 10). In ratio to the entire nation, Eagle Academy may be a small sample size. Even so, it is important to see the positive results they have received by taking the Critical Race Theory a step further. By acknowledging that minorities still feel separate from community, even with the historical legal measures that have been taken, they came to realize which social needs were not being met. This alternative schooling strategy worked in one of the more poor areas in America and without any significant economic assistance (P. 12). High school as a nation is a very cliquey culture. In a teen's awkward stage of growth they search for what is most comfortable, whether that is race, religion or sexuality. School districts should take constant measures to bring all students towards one common goal, and create a culture outside of race, religion and sexuality that they can comfortably adapt to as a whole. For example, if high schools had more specialized subject material similar to college and gave students accountability to each other through organized academic teams, than they would have similar values to one and other regardless of race, religion or sexuality. Thus eliminating any minority in a classroom and installing one dominating society with 100% membership.
After school activities must expand to modernized needs of today's youth, without giving up any tradition, and encourage easy access to these functions. Most school structures have athletic programs that scratch the surface of this epidemic without realization. Team sports give participants a set of common values to share and work towards. Explaining why most athletes take more pride in their school than other students that do not participate in extracurricular activities. Yet, not all team members are treated equally, and with the popularity sports has socially in America and on television those more gifted athletes become popular figures. This than creates a minority among those less gifted and devaluation of oneself if their not performing to a schools high expectations. Sports are extremely relevant in America, understandably they are here to stay. Why are so many student going through high school without an extracurricular activity? Marching bands are great, but music today has changed and adapted to America's fast paced movement. Yet, very few high schools offer musical education that is relevant today. Rap, Hip-hop, heavy metal and pop our what students today want to listen to. Regardless, our education offers very few opportunities to learn more in about those subjects. Even athletics might be taking a back seat to the technological age. Teenagers want to learn the ins and outs of computers, graphics, video gaming, web based development and social media. Yet, high school mostly stays behind the times and does not explore these areas deeply enough for any interested parties. Schools need to take more time in hearing from their students and find out exactly what would keep them in school. More importantly, what would keep them happy in school.
In 2004, 600,000 kids dropped out of high school and by 2009 that cost the US government over 40 billion dollars in health care assistance alone (P. 12). More important than the economic hit, are the negative correlations one is associated with after handicapping their own potential by dropping out school. Socially they are now seen differently and statistically likely to fall into poverty or even incarceration. When a child quits on their own education, America as a nation suffers from lack of productivity (P. 12). No single individual is unaffected by this issue and yet most don't even realize the colossal impact it has. Americans must start educating themselves and asking those who have been directly impacted by this about what difficulties it has caused for them. Life is long, school is hard and earning an income gets even more tedious and difficult. Why do American's insist on keeping the educational system unenjoyable for its' students? Drastic measures to make school a communal atmosphere and place of happiness should be taken to ensure students are staying in school to to better themselves as much as possible.
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