'I would do my best to improve my English and German skills' - DAAD scholarship; motivation letter

​I am Irina Pak and I would like to express my interest in applying for Master Programme in International Business at Hochschule für Technik und Wirtschaft in Berlin. By pursuing the master's degree in International Business, I intend to expand my understanding of business strategies and economics. I plan to start a new business which will support the cooperation and partnership between Tajikistan and Europe. Tajikistan still need to learn how to do business and how to make it business helpful for country's economy and politics.

The Hochschule für Technik und Wirtschaft in Berlin is the best place where I can make a research and analysis for my master thesis. The International Business Programme has the best curicullum for everyone who want to make a business. By this programme I will be trained in various skills such as intercultural communication, project and change management, and negotiation skills.

During the internship in Medical-Computer Center in Aden in Dushanbe I have gained valuable experience in market research and analysis and also I got a knowledge in development project planning.

From Septembet 2009 till July 2010 I attended to Russian-Tajik Slavonic University and after completing my studies there I secured a scholarship for a BA in Korea. I had a double major there. I studied Political Science and Diplomacy as my main major and International trade as my second major. I have studied and lived in Korea for 5 years, so I not only studied my university material, but also learnt about Korean history, culture, economics, and traditions. Because it's very important to understand and to adjust to the country where you live.

Last year, I have worked in a Construction and Consulting Company in department of planning. I have worked there almost a whole year and during that period of time I have explored how Korean companies are organized, how the Korean labor system works and, of course, I acquired many insights into the planning process. through this experience I learnt more about project management and market research. I did comparison between the construction market in Korea and construction market in Tajikistan, and showed the results in report.

Were I to be accepted, first of all, I would do my best to improve my English and German skills because it is very necessary to acquire fluency in the language of the country in which you live or study. So, I will get a chance to communicate with students in similar circumstances. For example, when I first arrived in Korea, I didn't know Korean at all, so I couldn't communicate with Korean people even on a basic level. So, every day I spent hours studying Korean and after 9 months I successfully passed the 4th level Test of Proficiency in Korean. In addition I took classes in both Korean and English languages in Sungkyunkwan University.

Through studying in HTW in Berlin I plan to learn the all main points to start a new business. I always dreamed about my own International company that will support the cooperation between my homecountry and all other countries in the world. My homecountry Tajikistan still has a lot of weakpoints that impede economy development in Tajikistan. So, now I want to go to Germany and learn about it, learn about its culture and history, as I have already learnt about Korea's because these 2 countries have an amazing development history. I want to compare Europe and Korea, West and East, the western and the eastern educational system, because I deem it helpful to my future career when I will work in an international company or with foreign partners. I have always been interested in multicultural society.

I have a strong will to study and to acquire new knowledge. I am purposeful, and always do my best to attain my goals. If I begin to do something, I never give up, I go forward till the end, no matter what difficulties lie between me and my goal.

I would be very grateful if you consider my application and give me a chance to study at the Hochschule für Technik und Wirtschaft in Berlin, which would enhance my future professional and personal development. The experience that I could gain by studying in Germany would be valuable for both my studies and personal development, and of course, it will mean a lot for my future career prospects. So I hope the DAAD's support would allow me to pursue one of my long-treasured dreams.

Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Irina, it was not necessary to include your name in the motivation letter as this is only one of the many attachments to your student application for your school. Your introduction is solid since it tells the reader your exact reasons for applying to higher studies. However, this letter sounds more like a Statement of Purpose instead of a scholarship motivation letter. Kindly upload the instructions you were given for writing the letter so that we can get a better understanding as to why you wrote a statement of purpose essay instead of a scholarship letter.

When you are writing a scholarship letter, your essay must concentrate on proving that you fall into the criteria of the scholarship foundation and that you will be a worthy candidate to sponsor as a scholar. Remember, you are receiving free money, so you have to make sure that you will stand out among the other 1 million applicants for the same scholarship. You are probably wondering how is that determined? The scholarship committee decides upon that using the letter and other documents that they ask you to write and submit. In this case, the letter is a preliminary interview. The more you answer the essay prompt and prove that you fall under the qualifications of a successful candidate the more in the running for consideration you will be.

Having said that, you will need to revise your essay depending upon the required prompts of the scholarship and then include some personal information about yourself. Try not to go over 2 pages in doing this so that you won't lose the reader's interest. So don't try to give them an idea of your whole life be it academic of otherwise. Just concentrate on one or two activities that will best reflect you accomplishments in line with the essay prompt. Don't mistake the letter for a resume though. That is something you should submit separately. Instead, just focus on the one or two activities that best reflect who you are. Focusing on your leadership abilities would be a good way to write that part of the essay.

Somewhere within the pages of your essay, the scholarship committee will need to know exactly why you are applying for their scholarship. Then discuss how you will be spending that scholarship money in the quest to complete your studies. Remind them about the kind of bright student you are and how their scholarship will benefit from granting you the chance to study.

Right now, you are not really discussing the scholarship. Just your academic achievements and professional experiences. DAAD is a scholarship that is asking you to explain why you will be a good scholar, but you are submitting something along the lines of a personal statement for an academic application instead. Consider the guidelines I mentioned above and try to revise the letter along those lines. If you find that hard to do, post the essay prompt for the letter here and we will help you sort out what information it should contain :-) I hope my advice helps you out.

Dear Louisa! Thank you so much for your feedback. Now I see weakpoints of my motivation letter and I will work on it more. thank you