Student profiler - U of Illinois Supp. (academic interests/goals)

ESSAY #1: In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or professional goals.
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Noticing the frustrated look on my face as I read over all possible majors and minors for college, my mother reassured me. "Everyone has at least one special talent that they excel in," she winks, "I'm sure you'll have your breakthrough." Just thinking that it was unconditional love smothering me, I shrugged off indifferently at her comment and continued to stare blankly at the list.

My biggest worry wasn't filling out the massive paperwork for college admission; it was choosing the right major, the right field, and the right career. Eventually, regurgitating my mother's words, I discovered my "special talent" - I was good at reading people! Some may call it stereotype, but it was so much more than just judging people based on appearance. I would carefully analyze the person's body language, tone, eye contact, and other qualities to formulate a hypothetical personality, which in most cases was true. Thus, I could predict the person's strengths and weaknesses, and foresee the decisions and mistakes they would make. I was able to flaunt my ability in Concepts of Psychology class, where I learned more about psychological profiling in medicine. I would like to analyze patients' movements and speech to diagnose and cure them. By studying medicine, especially concentrating on psychiatry, would fulfill my goal of using my special talent to help others, not to filter out friends. I would love the opportunity to turn my knack for judgment into a professional career.

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Comments, criticisms, edits are all welcome!!
Please feel free to be harsh
This is arounf 260 words so I have a room to wiggle lol

For your scholarship essay, I would recommend going right into what you believe distinguishes you the most (your knack for "reading people.") No need for the first paragraph and opening sentence in second para. After you establish what makes you special (deserving of a scholarship,) back it up with strong examples (significant involvement in extracurricular activities.) Your third paragraph does not clearly establish what exactly you did in your field experience in the psychiatric unit. Did you counsel patients, how many hours per week for how long, how many patients? What mental illness did you successfully identify, what knowledge on mental disease did you gain? Why did the discharged patients leave with a smile (I missed why that instilled respect to the doctors?) All this needs to be covered to make this a convincing scholarship application.

Your opening sentence in the fourth para confused me. Why securely locked doors? (it made me thing of a prison or insane asylum.) Here is where you convey why you are confident in your ability to translate instinct into a successful medical profession. Giving examples of past hard academic work might be useful here as it will indeed require a lot of effort to reach your goal.

Your last para of why SLU needs to be more specific. Cite some inspiring professors and classes. Is their Psychiatry Dept well rated nationally? Why is SLU familiar to you? While it is understandable that you are full of praise for SLU, I don't think this is what the prompt asked for. Note the question:

In identifying this unique attribute, please also describe how Saint Louis University in particular complements your ambitions and/or character.
It asks you to describe what specific aspects of SLU complements your goals and you as a person. They want you to demonstrate that you have really familiarized yourself with their culture, community, the institution's mission statement or any other distinguishing differentiation. Also, it would be a good idea to devote some space to covering what you can do to contribute to SLU as a student or an alumni.

Thank you so much for your comment.
I have fized it accordingly and have sent it in with confidence.
Thanks again