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The Blight of Bullying and the Road to its End


Sholtokiwi 1 / -  
Nov 30, 2012   #1
This is a speech, not an essay, so keep that in mind when you read it. Please let me know what you think, and what you suggest I should do to improve it.

Here is the assignment description:

ASSIGNMENT OBJECTIVES
After completing the advocacy speech, students should be able to:
ï‚ˇ develop a compelling case that effectively explains problems and provides
appropriate solutions.
ï‚ˇ identify and discuss interesting and realistic actions that the audience can in support
of the solutions.
ï‚ˇ highlight the congruency between various argumentative elements.
ï‚ˇ write and deliver a stylistic rich speech.
ï‚ˇ design and deliver a speech with appropriate emotional and delivery variations and
intensities
ï‚ˇ speak confidently with appropriate rate, projection, movement, and vocal variety.
ï‚ˇ adapt their delivery to account for a variety of environmental constraints and
distractions.
ASSIGNMENT DESCRIPTION
The advocacy speech is quite different from the impromptu and persuasive speeches. In the impromptu speech, you merely had to clearly explain your topic and argument. In the persuasive speech, your audience knew something about your topic, so your argument needed to respond to these existing concerns. In the advocacy speech, your audience may know nothing about the topic or argument, so you must "make the case." In making the case for your topic, you need to raise awareness about your topic by identifying a pressing problem, discussing appropriate solutions, and outlining specific steps that the audience can take to advance these solutions.

In so doing, you must be clear (the audience may have little to no existing knowledge); you must be convincing (you are trying to sway the audience that your argument is valid); and you must be compelling (you are trying to motivate the audience enough so that they want to take specific actions). The advocacy speech requires the clarity of the impromptu, the strategy and topic mastery of the persuasive, plus a sense of style and presence.

BASIC REQUIREMENTS
As part of the advocacy speech, you must satisfy the following requirements:
ï‚ˇ You must develop an argument with congruent elements that raises audience awareness and motivates action. We can assume that the audience on red Square knows little or nothing about your topic. As such, you need to quickly and clearly make your case. You need to develop an argument that identifies problems and/or causes, outlines appropriate and congruent solutions to these problems, and spells out specific and realistic actions that the audience can take that can advance the stated solutions.

ï‚ˇ You must write a stylistically rich speech. You must write the speech through stylistic devices. Your rich writing style must meld with the argument you are advancing. You are not

ïżźCOM 220: Public Speaking 63
sprinkling one or two stylistically rich paragraphs here and there; rather, your entire argument is made in a stylistically rich way.
ï‚ˇ You must deliver the speech in an engaging manner. Though many sections of your speech are written out, you must deliver the speech in an engaging and dynamic manner. Your delivery should capitalize on the figures of style written into the argument. At a minimum, you need to deliver the speech with appropriate projection and presence for the space.

ï‚ˇ You must stay within the time limits. The speech should run 5-7 minutes. Your assignment grade will be lowered by 5 points for every 45 seconds you speak under or over the target time range.

Arrangement (10%)
____ The speaker arranged the speech in a clear and compelling manner
____ The speaker oriented the audience to the topic in the introduction
appropriately and effectively Comments:
____ The speaker concluded the speech appropriately and effectively
Delivery (45%)
____ The speaker's delivery captured the rhythm of the stylistic devices used
____ The speaker's delivery and emotional tones varied effectively and appropriately over the course of the speech
____ The speaker interacted with the environment and the audience effectively and appropriately
____ The speaker spoke with appropriate projection for the space and the audience
____ The speaker used notes effectively and appropriately
____ The speaker used speech rate effectively and appropriately Additional Comments:
____ The speaker used vocal variety effectively and appropriately
____ The speaker moved and gestured effectively and appropriately
Invention and Style (45%)
____ The speaker addressed a topic appropriate for the assignment
____ The speaker discussed the ill (and blame and consequences, if applicable) effectively and appropriately
____ The speaker discussed the cure effectively and appropriately
____ The speaker discussed realistic calls to action effectively and appropriately
____ The speaker's argumentative elements were congruent with one another
____ The speaker used evidence effectively and appropriately
____ The speaker used stylistic devices effectively and appropriately

Here is the Speech:

Let me tell you a tragic story about a ten-year-old girl, a cheerful girl, an honor roll student, and a cheerleader, Ashlynn Conner. Every day, Ashlynn talked about her dream to become a veterinarian. However, one year ago, Ashlynn's dreams came to an abrupt end. One year ago, Ashlynn's sister found her dead, hanging from a scarf in her bedroom closet. One year ago, Ashlynn Conner committed suicide. This ten-year-old girl felt so desperate, so alone, so hopeless, that she took her own life. Ashlynn Conner killed herself because she was bullied. Her classmates called her 'whore', 'slut', and 'fat ass' every day. Every day she was rejected, humiliated, and harassed by her classmates. And sadly, no one stopped it. Her friends didn't stop it, her teacher didn't stop it, no one stopped it, so Ashlynn stopped it the only way she knew how.

This is just one instance of a pervasive problem. Every year, ten million students in the United States are bullied; 2 million are cyber bullied, 3.5 million are physically bullied, and 4.5 million are verbally bullied. Beyond the immediate effects of sadness and hurt, many victims hurt themselves, drop out of school, act violently, get involved with drugs, commit suicide, and develop depression. And this doesn't just affect a few of us; it affects all of us. All of us have friends, or cousins, or nephews, or nieces, or brothers, or sisters, or kids who will one day attend, or who currently attend school. With the prevalence of bullying, there is a very high chance that someone you care about will encounter a bully, that someone you care about will be bullied, and that someone you care about will get hurt. Take a moment to imagine what it would be like. Imagine what it would be like for someone you loved to be laughed at, pushed around, to have her head shoved into a locker, to be ignored by her peers, to find a note in her desk with the word 'loser' written on it. Imagine how upset you would be. It is our responsibility, as students and as human beings, to help these kids.

When Ashlynn was bullied, nobody stood up for her. She went to her teachers for help; they told her to stop tattling. She went to her friends for help; they told her they were too scared to help. This is very common. Teachers often overlook bullying, ignore bullying, or respond to bullying ineffectively, while students, on the other hand, allow bullying to continue because they are afraid of becoming targets themselves, or because they think someone else will intervene, or because they don't know any better. Teachers and students rarely intervene when it comes to bullying. According to national anti-bullying organizations, only 15 % of bullying incidents are intervened in. 15%. In school, 15% is an F, a failure. And that's what this is; this is a failure. Teachers and fellow students are failing to stand up for the bullied. Our society is failing to stand up for the bullied. Ten million kids are bullied every year, and nobody is standing up for them.

It is evident that we cannot leave things as they are. Millions of kids are being bullied, and nobody is stopping it. We must encourage teachers and students to step in and speak up. We must educate them about the costs of bullying, and teach them how to stop it. We must take action.

Fortunately, two organizations, Champions Against Bullying and Pacer's National Bullying Prevention Center are taking action. Each organization has a unique approach. Champions Against Bullying offers in person workshops for students and schoolteachers where they learn what bullying is, what its costs are, how to prevent it, and how to stop it when it does occur. Pacer's takes a different approach. It provides online resources such as toolkits, action plans, and learning games that teachers use to educate their students. YOU can increase the influence of each of these organizations. You can tell your friends, tell your family, and tell your local schoolteachers. You can donate or volunteer by going to championsagainstbullying.com or pacer.org/bullying. If we do this, we will strengthen the anti-bullying movement. If we do this, we can look forward to a future where people do not tolerate any form of bullying, and kids are accepted for who they are. Once it was acceptable to use the word homo, to use the word fag, to use the word retard, to use the word Jap, to have segregated schools, segregated housing, to smoke at work, to not wear seat belts. These things are no longer acceptable because people, people like us, decided they are unacceptable. And if we work hard enough, we can make bullying unacceptable too. Ashlynn dreamed of becoming a veterinarian. Perhaps she also dreamed of a future in which bullying was not tolerated. We can help Ashlynn's dream come true. We can make bullying unacceptable. I look forward to a future where EVERYONE will be treated graciously. I look forward to a future where kids like Ashlynn will never have to die again. I look forward to a future where people will stand up for those put down. And I believe we can seize this future together.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Dec 4, 2012   #2
One year ago, Ashlynn'sher sister found her dead,

This word is getting repeated in close intervals.

Ashlynn stopped it by the only way she knew how.

I look forward to a future where EVERYONE will be treated graciously. I look forward to a future where kids like Ashlynn will never have to die again. I look forward to a future where people will stand up for those put down. And I believe we can seize this future together.

Great ending : )
Overall, it's a great job! I enjoyed every line of it.... You bring out the emotional aspect very strongly throughout the essay and effortlessly make us feel how dangerous bullying can be .... It will surely stay in the hearts of those who are going to listen to it : )


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