For my year 12 English Class we are study persuasive language, and our topic is 'The King Hit' .
We were asked to make an oral presentation on the topic and we can do it from any angle we want.
Although we were told to put as many persuasive language techniques as possible.
(I'm taking on a persona for the speech, this is not my real name just a fake person)
Here is my speech:
Hello everyone,
My name is Rosamond Earthly, I come here today in representation of my young Mary. Mary (my 19 year old) and her friends went out to the pub late one night for a nice meal. On entering she saw an elderly man being bashed by a young drunk teen. Instantly one of her friends Nicholas Grey tried to intervene while Mary called the police. The police came promptly and the fight dispersed; one teen was arrested. Mary and her friends had a nice meal and started to take the three-minute walk home. Just a couple of metres away from arriving one of the youths, who was a friend of the youth caught by the police; came up behind Nicholas and punched his head. He went down in one go; the youth also punched Mary to the ground. Mary survived with a fractured skull and a few broken ribs, but Nicholas was not so lucky. Mary is still distraught and blames herself even though she could not have seen this unprovoked attack. Mary would have liked to talk today but felt she would fail, so I have come instead. But this is not a vengeful cry of a bitter mother trying to seek revenge; despite how sad this is we must look for an answer to this problem. Too long has the problem of drunken violence been allowed to manifest and grow, now is the time to act! Some would say 'let it lie, let it be' but wait until one of their loved one's is left for dead on the curb and see what they say then.
Vast numbers of people, from the general public/ to government officials have suggested answers to this elephant of a problem. This includes things such as tougher legislation, increasing police presence; but how effective are these suggestions? Which one would be most effective in combating this issue? Or is there no real solution? Or maybe no real problem at all? On behalf of Mary I hope to convey what a youth thinks the solution is; and maybe, just maybe a youth is the best person to come up with an answer.
Firstly, I want to talk about how tougher legislations may seem like great plan but won't work in action. Tougher legislations will mean that those found guilty of throwing the 'King Hit' will have a minimum sentence of eight years in prison. Also those found guilty of alcohol-fuelled assaults will have minimum penalties increased by two years. The reason why we have prison is for three main purposes:
1. To punish those who have been found guilty of breaking the Law
2. To rehabilitate those in prison, so they become law-abiding citizens.
3. To deter those people may consider breaking the Law, from actually committing the crime.
By increasing the minimum prison sentence it is hoping to employ the third reason for prisons, deterring people from committing crime. By implementing this they are hoping that a highly intoxicated youth is expecting to remember the time they will spend in prison for the punch they are mindlessly about to throw. Wait a second how is that supposed to work? The man who killed Nicholas was so drunk that they found him a couple of blocks down the road asleep in his own vomit; not remembering throwing the punch. How is he expected to think about the possible jail time he will spend for punching someone?Well then maybe the reason for tougher legislations is to punish those people who have taken innocent lives? If we look in the newspaper and see the articles on the victims of the 'king hit', all of the perpetrators are portrayed in negative light. In the Coffs Harbour newspaper article, the young man who killed Daniel (Shaun McNeil) was shown as a cowardly man, who took an innocent life. In the additional the accompanying picture of Shaun, he isn't even able to look the audience in the eye. The community will know these offenders' faces, the life they previously had will be different, and they will be constantly living in their mistake. They will punish themselves for their action every day. The chance of them repeating the attack is highly unlikely, you would never make the same mistake twice. Just to re-cap, tougher legislations may look like prevention although it would only punish those who already punish themselves. We need prevention, as prevention is always better than a cure.
Secondly, let me talk about another suggestion proposed; increasing police presence on our streets. When Mary called the police to report the fight in the pub arrived they in under a few minuets, but still we are calling for prevention not a cure. We need to stop the fight before it even starts, as people are still getting hurt or killed. People have said that they would feel more comfortable in a club or a pub if police were present late at night. I agree that I would feel safer if police attended a venue where alcohol was being sold. Although the problem with this is, we would need police in every bar/club/ pub that we have in Australia. On the 'Bar And Night Club Website' 153 registered clubs are listed in Melbourne CBD alone, not to mention all the pubs and other venues that sell alcohol that were not mentioned. This would mean we would need about 5 police officers in every club around Melbourne. If you total that you would need a minimum of 765 police officers in the Melbourne CBD alone, every night. The government would need to find the money to train all these police officers and then pay them their weekly wages. Where would this money come from? Our pockets. This doesn't seem like a reasonable and amiable suggestion. Some would suggest less than 5 police officers would reduce costs, although if we had any less than 5 police officers in a club there would be pandemonium. If we had just 1 police officer on their own, they would have to stop a fight while calling for back up; this police officer could easily be killed. Remember these officers have families who want them home safe, just as we want with our loves ones. It seems that all suggestions are either unreasonable or unproductive. What then? What we need is to cut of the problem at its root. Neither tougher legislations or increased police presence would be an effective way to fix to the problem of alcohol-fuelled violence; it seems we must look to our youth for the answer.
Mary and I were discussing this together and her suggestion astounded not only me but all who heard. Mary said, "Mum I know that peer pressure is the main reason why kids drink, why don't we make peer pressure a reason to STOP kids drinking?" It seems a simple notion but in all honesty, it seems more sensible than tougher legislations and increased police presence combined. When teens are aged 12-19 their biggest influence is no longer their parent's but other teens. News Limited published these staggering statistics about the king hit. 99% of these King Hit attacks were committed by men; and 96% of these attacks were inflicted on other men. These same statistics show that 94% of attacker were with their friends or in a large group. These statistics show that young men are easily affected by peer pressure; they take risks they would not normally take. Let's use this influence to stop our kids from being hurt and/or hurting others. If we educate youth at a very early age that 'drinking isn't cool' and the damage it causes to other people then we can potentially save lives. If even one child takes aboard that message there is one teenager saying, "hey man, drinking isn't cool" then maybe that person would take aboard that message and pass it along too. This isn't some glorified game of Chinese whispers; it uses the reason why kids are drinking to stop them from drinking, simple but effective. Although it is not just up to teachers at schools to educate the young children. What happens when they come home to see their parents doing the opposite of what they have just been taught? Parents need to teach their children the responsible way to drink and the risks of drinking too much. Paul Stanley the father of a king hit victim says: "We need to get to the kids as early as possible to change the way they think. Change in legislation is one thing, but educating people is the most important part."
By educating today's youth we can change the disgusting drinking culture, into a completely new and safe one, where we do not fear whether our teens come home at night, or not.
In closing teen alcohol-fuelled violence is a problem that affects all those in its wake. Many families have been left with no son, brother, husband or friend. The community have been motivated to change this, but none have come up with an affective solution. An increase in time spent in jail will not prevent teens from throwing the punch in the first place, which is our aim. A larger presence of police is unreasonable due to the vast amount of money needed to see it fulfilled. Let's dare to listen to our teens and see that they have great ideas. By educating children from a young age they will learn that being drunk isn't cool and live by this principle through their entire lives, hopefully teaching others this principle as well. My Mary has decided to become an ambassador for FARE (Foundation for Alcohol Research and Education) she hopes to be able to teach young children about alcohol abuse. I'm very proud of Mary. Will you be proud of your child? Teach them the right way to drink and you will be helping create the change we need in society.
Any adjustments would be really helpful,
Thanks
We were asked to make an oral presentation on the topic and we can do it from any angle we want.
Although we were told to put as many persuasive language techniques as possible.
(I'm taking on a persona for the speech, this is not my real name just a fake person)
Here is my speech:
Hello everyone,
My name is Rosamond Earthly, I come here today in representation of my young Mary. Mary (my 19 year old) and her friends went out to the pub late one night for a nice meal. On entering she saw an elderly man being bashed by a young drunk teen. Instantly one of her friends Nicholas Grey tried to intervene while Mary called the police. The police came promptly and the fight dispersed; one teen was arrested. Mary and her friends had a nice meal and started to take the three-minute walk home. Just a couple of metres away from arriving one of the youths, who was a friend of the youth caught by the police; came up behind Nicholas and punched his head. He went down in one go; the youth also punched Mary to the ground. Mary survived with a fractured skull and a few broken ribs, but Nicholas was not so lucky. Mary is still distraught and blames herself even though she could not have seen this unprovoked attack. Mary would have liked to talk today but felt she would fail, so I have come instead. But this is not a vengeful cry of a bitter mother trying to seek revenge; despite how sad this is we must look for an answer to this problem. Too long has the problem of drunken violence been allowed to manifest and grow, now is the time to act! Some would say 'let it lie, let it be' but wait until one of their loved one's is left for dead on the curb and see what they say then.
Vast numbers of people, from the general public/ to government officials have suggested answers to this elephant of a problem. This includes things such as tougher legislation, increasing police presence; but how effective are these suggestions? Which one would be most effective in combating this issue? Or is there no real solution? Or maybe no real problem at all? On behalf of Mary I hope to convey what a youth thinks the solution is; and maybe, just maybe a youth is the best person to come up with an answer.
Firstly, I want to talk about how tougher legislations may seem like great plan but won't work in action. Tougher legislations will mean that those found guilty of throwing the 'King Hit' will have a minimum sentence of eight years in prison. Also those found guilty of alcohol-fuelled assaults will have minimum penalties increased by two years. The reason why we have prison is for three main purposes:
1. To punish those who have been found guilty of breaking the Law
2. To rehabilitate those in prison, so they become law-abiding citizens.
3. To deter those people may consider breaking the Law, from actually committing the crime.
By increasing the minimum prison sentence it is hoping to employ the third reason for prisons, deterring people from committing crime. By implementing this they are hoping that a highly intoxicated youth is expecting to remember the time they will spend in prison for the punch they are mindlessly about to throw. Wait a second how is that supposed to work? The man who killed Nicholas was so drunk that they found him a couple of blocks down the road asleep in his own vomit; not remembering throwing the punch. How is he expected to think about the possible jail time he will spend for punching someone?Well then maybe the reason for tougher legislations is to punish those people who have taken innocent lives? If we look in the newspaper and see the articles on the victims of the 'king hit', all of the perpetrators are portrayed in negative light. In the Coffs Harbour newspaper article, the young man who killed Daniel (Shaun McNeil) was shown as a cowardly man, who took an innocent life. In the additional the accompanying picture of Shaun, he isn't even able to look the audience in the eye. The community will know these offenders' faces, the life they previously had will be different, and they will be constantly living in their mistake. They will punish themselves for their action every day. The chance of them repeating the attack is highly unlikely, you would never make the same mistake twice. Just to re-cap, tougher legislations may look like prevention although it would only punish those who already punish themselves. We need prevention, as prevention is always better than a cure.
Secondly, let me talk about another suggestion proposed; increasing police presence on our streets. When Mary called the police to report the fight in the pub arrived they in under a few minuets, but still we are calling for prevention not a cure. We need to stop the fight before it even starts, as people are still getting hurt or killed. People have said that they would feel more comfortable in a club or a pub if police were present late at night. I agree that I would feel safer if police attended a venue where alcohol was being sold. Although the problem with this is, we would need police in every bar/club/ pub that we have in Australia. On the 'Bar And Night Club Website' 153 registered clubs are listed in Melbourne CBD alone, not to mention all the pubs and other venues that sell alcohol that were not mentioned. This would mean we would need about 5 police officers in every club around Melbourne. If you total that you would need a minimum of 765 police officers in the Melbourne CBD alone, every night. The government would need to find the money to train all these police officers and then pay them their weekly wages. Where would this money come from? Our pockets. This doesn't seem like a reasonable and amiable suggestion. Some would suggest less than 5 police officers would reduce costs, although if we had any less than 5 police officers in a club there would be pandemonium. If we had just 1 police officer on their own, they would have to stop a fight while calling for back up; this police officer could easily be killed. Remember these officers have families who want them home safe, just as we want with our loves ones. It seems that all suggestions are either unreasonable or unproductive. What then? What we need is to cut of the problem at its root. Neither tougher legislations or increased police presence would be an effective way to fix to the problem of alcohol-fuelled violence; it seems we must look to our youth for the answer.
Mary and I were discussing this together and her suggestion astounded not only me but all who heard. Mary said, "Mum I know that peer pressure is the main reason why kids drink, why don't we make peer pressure a reason to STOP kids drinking?" It seems a simple notion but in all honesty, it seems more sensible than tougher legislations and increased police presence combined. When teens are aged 12-19 their biggest influence is no longer their parent's but other teens. News Limited published these staggering statistics about the king hit. 99% of these King Hit attacks were committed by men; and 96% of these attacks were inflicted on other men. These same statistics show that 94% of attacker were with their friends or in a large group. These statistics show that young men are easily affected by peer pressure; they take risks they would not normally take. Let's use this influence to stop our kids from being hurt and/or hurting others. If we educate youth at a very early age that 'drinking isn't cool' and the damage it causes to other people then we can potentially save lives. If even one child takes aboard that message there is one teenager saying, "hey man, drinking isn't cool" then maybe that person would take aboard that message and pass it along too. This isn't some glorified game of Chinese whispers; it uses the reason why kids are drinking to stop them from drinking, simple but effective. Although it is not just up to teachers at schools to educate the young children. What happens when they come home to see their parents doing the opposite of what they have just been taught? Parents need to teach their children the responsible way to drink and the risks of drinking too much. Paul Stanley the father of a king hit victim says: "We need to get to the kids as early as possible to change the way they think. Change in legislation is one thing, but educating people is the most important part."
By educating today's youth we can change the disgusting drinking culture, into a completely new and safe one, where we do not fear whether our teens come home at night, or not.
In closing teen alcohol-fuelled violence is a problem that affects all those in its wake. Many families have been left with no son, brother, husband or friend. The community have been motivated to change this, but none have come up with an affective solution. An increase in time spent in jail will not prevent teens from throwing the punch in the first place, which is our aim. A larger presence of police is unreasonable due to the vast amount of money needed to see it fulfilled. Let's dare to listen to our teens and see that they have great ideas. By educating children from a young age they will learn that being drunk isn't cool and live by this principle through their entire lives, hopefully teaching others this principle as well. My Mary has decided to become an ambassador for FARE (Foundation for Alcohol Research and Education) she hopes to be able to teach young children about alcohol abuse. I'm very proud of Mary. Will you be proud of your child? Teach them the right way to drink and you will be helping create the change we need in society.
Any adjustments would be really helpful,
Thanks