Let's go to America! (my knowledge of the American culture began to expand)

People say that experience is the best teacher, and I believe this is true. I remember the first time I came to America, I was only 8 years old and very shy. Although I had to change some of my customs of daily living I was very excited to go to a new country. I was eager to see snow for the first time, make new friends, and eat American food. The one custom I found most challenging was learning a new language.

A month after I arrived in America, I began second grade where I had a terrible experience. My teacher, who was not conscious about my situation, asked me to answer a few questions in front of the class. As she began to question me, I froze and could not answer her. I was afraid make a mistake in front of the class because I wasn't prepared and I didn't know the language very well. When I arrived at home I began to cry because of the embarrassing experience I had. The next day, my parents met with my teacher and explained that I had just come to America and that I was having difficulties learning the language. From that day, my teacher understood my situation and spent extra time helping me understand the language. After that, my knowledge of the American culture began to expand as I spent time going to the library, visiting tourist sites, seeing monuments of historical people and events. The more I experienced the culture, the more the language became exciting and less overwhelming.

Coming to America was a complete education experience for me. I learned to respect other ways of life, adapt to a new culture, change my habits, my eating styles, and became familiar with the language better than if I was at my country.

By Fernanda Ribeiro

Although I had to change some of my customs of daily living, I was very excited to go to a new country.

I was afraid to make a mistake in front of ...
When I arrived at home, I began to cry because of ...

... and spent extra time helping me understand the language(Use the word "English," your use of "language" is a little too repetitive) . After that, my knowledge of the American culture began to expand as I spent time going to the library, visiting tourist sites, and seeing monuments of historical people and events.

This was a really nice piece. There were minor grammatical mistakes, but on a whole, it was perfect. If this is an essay, it feels a little short and you could most definitely expand on it. In your conclusion you mention you had to change your eating habits, your style, etc - give the reader more of your experiences concerning those changes.

People say that experience is the best teacher, and I believe this is true.

I remember the first time I came to America; I was only 8 years old and very shy.

Although I had to change some of my customs of daily living, I was very excited to go to a new country.---great sentence!

...and became more proficient in English than I could have become in my home countr y.

:-) It is so impressive that you can write this well even though you were an ESL student in primary school. You have a nice writing style. Please visit essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page/.