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Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays

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College Choice - quality and necessary improvements of my study permit essay for Canada

4 - First of all thank you Holt and frenchfries for your advice. I understand your concerns Holt that i...

UndergraduateDoel Hasan - 1 day ago / Doel Hasan - 21 hours ago
"Applying for an exchange to CTU.. - Czech Technical University SOP

3 - @Holt Thanks for your reply. I am not applying for masters... I am an 3rd year undergrad applying...

Undergraduateabbukanithi09 - Mar 26, 2017 / abbukanithi09 - 2 days ago
State Drill Competition; Testing leadership abilities/ COMMON APP

3 - Lizzbetthe, going rogue and disobeying a higher authority is not a leadership skill that is to be admired. Even...

Undergraduatesogeily - Jun 12, 2013 / Holt - Mar 27, 2017
Pitzer Transfer - music & academics

2 - Moira, rather than presenting that situation as the opening moment of your essay, it would be best if you...

Undergraduatecocomocha - Mar 27, 2017 / Holt - Mar 27, 2017
Trips to London ;Johns Hopkins Supp/ Interests

3 - Will, there is a disconnect between the opening story and the rest of the essay. You never did explain...

Undergraduatewillyfree - Dec 26, 2012 / Holt - Mar 27, 2017
Physics major/ fitting with my interests/ my contribution; Why Columbia?

3 - Samuel, while the Ivy League colleges and universities in the United States are competitors, it is never a good...

UndergraduateBlackWaltzIV - Dec 29, 2012 / Holt - Mar 27, 2017
'I have been an average student'; SOP - Good, Bad or Ugly

3 - I think it needs little bit of work.... try to include some instances some instances and examples from your...

UndergraduateVin23 - May 26, 2014 / only1shubham - Mar 25, 2017
The Transition - 500 word college application essay

2 - Zade, the essay accurately responds to the second prompt requirement. It is highly informative and shows how your original...

Undergraduatezadea - Mar 23, 2017 / Holt - Mar 24, 2017
Defining Death - Write an essay on a significant challenge that you've overcome

3 - Thank you very much, Holt, for the response. I really appreciate that. I've looked at what you said and...

Undergraduatetapsjax - Mar 21, 2017 / tapsjax - Mar 23, 2017
Manager at youth travel org/ MATURING FROM THE IMMATURE/Extracuricular activity

2 - Sebastian, working as facility manager does not qualify as an extra curricular activity. An extra curricular activity is something...

Undergraduatexxxbluefrogxxx - Dec 29, 2012 / Holt - Mar 20, 2017
PERFORMING ARTS- CAPP ACTIVITY

2 - Lara, did you write this as a college application essay? Or did you write this just in general as...

Undergraduatehellom - Dec 30, 2012 / Holt - Mar 20, 2017
BITS cricket team - Write about an incident that had the most profound influence on you

5 - Thanks for the review. Even I wasn't getting the feel of the essay. You have rightly said "That is...

Undergraduateavj21 - Mar 18, 2017 / avj21 - Mar 19, 2017
Personal statement for a BSW Program - reasons for BSW degree

3 - Tanner, the first thing that you have to correct in the essay is the information that you are a...

Undergraduatetapegunhero - Mar 17, 2017 / Holt - Mar 18, 2017
Teaching children math with Bingo Games-Boston College Supplemental

11 - @Holt Holt its me Mualla. How are you? How's everything on essayforum? So yesterday I got an...

Undergraduatemualla - Dec 1, 2016 / mualla - Mar 17, 2017
Achievement Essay - Application to SMU

4 - Samantha, you definitely need to include a concluding paragraph in the essay. That will give it a proper closure...

Undergraduatesampai - Mar 17, 2017 / Holt - Mar 17, 2017
AIF - Honours Arts at the University of Waterloo

2 - Julie, try to avoid general comments in your response which show that you just read the website and decided...

Undergraduatejkimm9 - Mar 17, 2017 / Holt - Mar 17, 2017
How will participating Honors Program help you reach your academic and professional aims?

2 - Zack, the last paragraph in the essay should be kept intact and used to close the revised version of...

Undergraduatezackmartinez - Mar 15, 2017 / Holt - Mar 15, 2017
"Wanting to transfer because of location" ESSAY statement

6 - @Holt Thank you so much for your feedback!...

Undergraduatebontonsoup1 - Mar 13, 2017 / bontonsoup1 - Mar 14, 2017
I come from an irrelevant field to the course.. - SG Institute of Technology Statement

3 - Russel, when you are asked to use professional experience, you have to do exactly that. You cannot change the...

Undergraduatesonnawabit - Mar 13, 2017 / Holt - Mar 14, 2017
It started with an asthma attack. Personal statement for medicine course.

11 - It would be best if you just skip the anecdote at the beginning of your essay. Just focus on...

UndergraduateJasmine855 - Mar 9, 2017 / Holt - Mar 13, 2017
I have always wanted to do something for our country; Air Force Academy Nomination

4 - @Holt Thank you so much!...

Undergraduatejvberg - Mar 13, 2017 / jvberg - Mar 13, 2017
Specify your reasons for transferring and goals you hope to reach; Common App Statement

3 - @Holt I don't know if you know but I am required to transfer from a community college regardless of...

Undergraduatepey94 - Mar 11, 2017 / pey94 - Mar 11, 2017
YALE YOUNG AFRICANS essay - how my goals developed over time

2 - Mostafa, you need to heighten the representation of certain elements in your essay in order to create a more...

Undergraduateheaba - Mar 11, 2017 / Holt - Mar 11, 2017
Opportunity to nurture my passion for Engineering and Philosophy; Why Lafayette? Supplement essay

2 - Charles, the second paragraph isn't really helpful. The information that it contains feels too generic and doesn't inform the...

Undergraduatenutellalover - Mar 10, 2017 / Holt - Mar 10, 2017
Essay for NTU SCHOLARSHIP - A value that I hold strongly to.

7 - @Holt Sorry I didn't mean to shout at anyone and I deeply appreciate everyone who took their time to...

UndergraduateJasmine855 - Mar 8, 2017 / Jasmine855 - Mar 9, 2017
Describe a character on a TV show or a book that you most identify with and why

4 - thank you for the remark holt!...

UndergraduateShinabu - Feb 27, 2017 / Shinabu - Mar 9, 2017
Help on Common App - My Life Background and Business

2 - Jason, this essay really needs to be toned down from the arrogant and self serving tone that it currently...

Undergraduatejasonwonton - Mar 8, 2017 / Holt - Mar 8, 2017
The world needs engineers that can and will change it for the better. Chemical engineering statement

3 - Mezna, only the first 2 paragraphs of your essay are worth including in this "Why" essay. The rest of...

Undergraduatemzani - Feb 28, 2017 / Holt - Mar 1, 2017
Brainstorming session with you to help me direct essay of 250 words for college LAC

6 - @esfo2017 hi, few thoughts on brainstorming process. jot down all ideas you have based on one key theme....

Undergraduateesfo2017 - Feb 14, 2017 / bumblebee - Feb 28, 2017
A very compelling choice for me. George Washington University Supplemental Essay (Transfer)

6 - I see. With your advice I will change it to be a more personalized essay that conveys many different...

Undergraduatechrisli75 - Feb 28, 2017 / chrisli75 - Feb 28, 2017
UT Austin Transfer/Statement of Purpose Essay - extra elements which complete my applicarion

5 - Okay thank you so very much again, you've helped so much!! Have a nice day :) @Holt...

Undergraduatecaccy46 - Feb 27, 2017 / caccy46 - Feb 28, 2017
Depression - 5.125 million college students diagnosed. Issue of Importance Essay for UT Austin

3 - Hi, First off all, in any essay or application you have to include the title, about what your are...

Undergraduatebluebonnet97 - Feb 28, 2017 / mariana13 - Feb 28, 2017
Columbia Science Honors Program | Math and Science Entrance Essay

5 - Okay, thanks for the feedback Holt!...

UndergraduateVinne - Feb 27, 2017 / Vinne - Feb 28, 2017
Sustainable Building Systems Program - max. word limit of a personal statement (education studies)

2 - Wang, your essay has a total of 709 words in it. This is over the normal word allotment for...

Undergraduateqwang46 - Feb 27, 2017 / Holt - Feb 27, 2017
University of Connecticut transfer essay - Storrs campus

2 - Eshan, the direction of your essay should take on a comparative look as to why you believe that Broward...

UndergraduateKoenigseggseggse - Feb 25, 2017 / Holt - Feb 25, 2017
Everything starts from its core - Georgia Tech Short Answers

4 - If you would just remove the reference to the "living species" and the humor will be well placed. I...

Undergraduatesalsabluer - Feb 24, 2017 / Holt - Feb 24, 2017
For the majority of my life, I underestimated the importance of physical health. Issue of Importance

3 - Morgan, the essay is really very prompt responsive on a personal level. The only problem is that it tends...

UndergraduateMorgannh - Feb 23, 2017 / Holt - Feb 24, 2017
What really blew my mind was electricity. Waterloo "Engineering" essay

7 - Thanks a lot! :D...

UndergraduateEiad21 - Feb 23, 2017 / Eiad21 - Feb 23, 2017
We want to read about what makes you special. Tell us something about yourself

5 - Hi @vcerpasalas! In my opinion, there we some errors with the use of comma. Also, please observe proper...

Undergraduatevcerpasalas - Feb 15, 2017 / gcki - Feb 22, 2017
Define the highlights of your most crucial accomplishments or tasks inputs.

4 - As I mentioned in my previous response, your contribution should be something that has a personal meaning to you....

UndergraduateTrouvaille 05 - Feb 22, 2017 / Holt - Feb 22, 2017
Waterloo "reasons for choosing" essay - two portions answer

10 - Thanks a lot for your patience with me :D Writing isn't really my strong suit but I try to...

UndergraduateEiad21 - Feb 19, 2017 / Eiad21 - Feb 21, 2017
My career path is not straight. College Transfer Essay - Statement of Purpose

2 - Morgan, try to focus on the actual purpose behind the reason for your transfer. If you are transferring based...

UndergraduateMorgannh - Feb 19, 2017 / Holt - Feb 20, 2017
Selected program of study and the aim to make durable, easy to fix, and upgradable electronics

5 - @greyhamster I just came here to cheer you up! I'm a writing learner too. Let's keep it up and...

Undergraduategreyhamster - Feb 16, 2017 / goo9dan - Feb 19, 2017
I plan to get a doctorate in Clinical Neuropsychology - UNIV. OF TEXAS SOP (PSYCHOLOGY/NEUROSCIENCE)

6 - Tana, I see where you are coming from now. The essay that you wrote includes the important elements I...

UndergraduateNervera - Feb 18, 2017 / Holt - Feb 19, 2017
Mesmerizing world of Chemistry - Personal Statement on my activities and plans for next years

2 - Pam, the only revision to your essay that I can suggest at this point is the removal of the...

Undergraduatepamveerapen - Feb 17, 2017 / Holt - Feb 18, 2017
Something went out not like I expected

6 - I am of a different opinion on this matter. Due to the fact that your previous response already spoke...

UndergraduateAABMOSALAM1998 - Feb 15, 2017 / Holt - Feb 16, 2017
Queen's Commerce: Describe the most important constructive criticism you have received

2 - @jlee99 Hi, jessica. I rewrite your essay. Of course, I am not good at writing a essay, I just...

Undergraduatejlee99 - Feb 15, 2017 / ilskyilsky - Feb 16, 2017
Personal insight questions for applying schools.

4 - Please find few grammatical errors. Every students here have sad stories punish them probably because she feels her...

Undergraduatejohnny165234 - Feb 14, 2017 / sinchana2017 - Feb 15, 2017
How helping others helps you? MIT essay

5 - I would not have finished it earlier than I did in my previous essays without your help, thank you...

UndergraduateAABMOSALAM1998 - Feb 15, 2017 / AABMOSALAM1998 - Feb 15, 2017
Tell us about your experience learning English. How often do you use English in your daily life?

4 - Valeria, at the point where the essay asks you "How often do you use English in your daily life?",...

Undergraduatevcerpasalas - Feb 15, 2017 / Holt - Feb 15, 2017
My dream school. The spirits of MIT's community is unlike anywhere else

21 - Thank you for your valuable feedback :) @Holt...

UndergraduateAABMOSALAM1998 - Feb 14, 2017 / AABMOSALAM1998 - Feb 15, 2017
Queen's University Commerce Application Essay

2 - Jessica, try to expand a bit more on the athletic sponsorship aspect as something that you hope to enter...

Undergraduatejlee99 - Feb 14, 2017 / Holt - Feb 14, 2017
Alzheimer's unit. Guidance needed in editing peace corps motivation statement

6 - The only part of this essay that needs more development is the first paragraph. In my opinion, you need...

Undergraduatemimi009p - Feb 11, 2017 / Holt - Feb 12, 2017
Describe an exceptional achievement and lesson learned in your academic experience.

4 - Hi @atrix, I am studying currently in a Singapore university (NUS). I feel what the university looks for...

Undergraduateatrix - Feb 11, 2017 / Malavika Venu - Feb 12, 2017
Personal Statement - A requirement to get a Letter of Acceptance from University

6 - Bagu, you still have paragraph one in this essay when I already told you to remove it. If you...

Undergraduatebagusetyawan - Feb 11, 2017 / Holt - Feb 12, 2017
"One Last Chance"- Transfer essay for MIT

15 - As the moderator pointed out, you can post new essays once you have helped others with their work. If...

UndergraduateAABMOSALAM1998 - Feb 9, 2017 / Holt - Feb 11, 2017
My high school courses of Chemistry, Physics and Biology intrigued my desire to pursue Pharmacy

3 - The essay has to be no more than two pages...

Undergraduatemickeyyyy - Feb 6, 2017 / mickeyyyy - Feb 6, 2017
Soak up knowledge - University of Washington Personal Statement 2017

4 - Lin, there is a discrepancy in your opening statement. You claim that you enrolled at Seattle Central College to...

Undergraduatetzuwen - Feb 5, 2017 / Holt - Feb 5, 2017
My most memorable experience: 21st November, just after my birthday; Colony Cricket League

6 - Hi Jnanam, it certainly feels good on our part to know that you are confident enough to say that...

UndergraduateJnanam Shah - Feb 24, 2014 / Holt - Feb 5, 2017
Waterloo AIF- My goals and interest and my reason for choosing Waterloo

10 - @Holt Thanks a lot!...

UndergraduateChibi1 - Dec 31, 2016 / Chibi1 - Feb 4, 2017

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