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|[PERSONAL STATEMENT KGSP-U] - I wonder if I'm being sentimental
4 - @Holt and @nhunggngu Thank you for taking the time to give some advices. I'm glad that I started early...
Undergraduateagusaefulloh - Jan 17, 2021 / agusaefulloh - 2 days ago
|Entering a software engineering programme but have no relevant background whatsoever.
3 - @Holt what are your thoughts on this? An associate prof of the course have said that the university still...
Undergraduateimsmooth - Jan 19, 2021 / imsmooth - Jan 19, 2021
|My education - Trinity College Supplemental Essay: How would you contribute?
3 - Hi @Holt, these are fantastic suggestions! I shall get working on them right away. Thank you for your help!...
UndergraduateRAJVEERSODHI - Jan 19, 2021 / RAJVEERSODHI - Jan 19, 2021
|Motivation Letter for Stipendium Hungaricum in Engineering field - Education is the key
3 - Hi there! Nice to know you. Dear @Holt, please excuse me, I'd like to add more feedbacks on this...
Undergraduateswitnaura - Jan 14, 2021 / yesayagm - Jan 15, 2021
|UBC PERSONAL PROFILE, WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU AND WHY? "Effort"
3 - Hi! I believe you have written a highly impressive response which is sure to reflect well on your application....
Undergraduatehighschoolstuden - Jan 14, 2021 / RAJVEERSODHI - Jan 15, 2021
|Academic objectives and indicate how these are appropriate to your long-range goals.
2 - Start off with the actual topic sentence. Reverse the presentation to kick - off with, "Being an avid technophile..."...
Undergraduatebetheguy - Jan 14, 2021 / Holt - Jan 15, 2021
|Health Studies Program [AIF] -University Of Waterloo Entrance
UndergraduateRosie Do - Jan 12, 2021 / Rosie Do - Jan 15, 2021
|Both my parents - UBC Draft - What is important to you?
7 - I think your short paragraph is really nice but you have to concentrate on the Subject. It requires "skill"...
Undergraduateparinitashetty - Dec 30, 2020 / chaodendinhmo128 - Jan 14, 2021
|Waterloo AIF Advice - What could I improve? Question about educational goals, interest in program...
2 - This is what they call a non-answer. At first glance, it appears that you are responding to the prompt....
Undergraduatepnksociety - Jan 13, 2021 / Holt - Jan 14, 2021
|Overcoming a static mindset
2 - You are 15 words over the limit without addressing any aspect of the prompt requirement. There is no reference...
Undergraduateavery33 - Jan 12, 2021 / Holt - Jan 13, 2021
|My independence and ability to materialize goals - Tell us about who you are
2 - You are focused only on your proudest achievement. You have not focused on the way that various people, based...
Undergraduatepantheraleo - Jan 12, 2021 / Holt - Jan 12, 2021
|"West Point caught my attention" - Transfer Essay Help
3 - This feels close to a question you'd get in a job interview. Advice I've always received was to answer...
UndergraduateADHopeful - Jan 9, 2021 / Callipyge - Jan 12, 2021
|The jigsaw puzzle of my dreams. Motivation letter to Stipendium Hungaricum Scholarship Program
UndergraduateMarinaJoan14 - Jan 9, 2021 / MarinaJoan14 - Jan 11, 2021
|DESCRIBE UP TO FIVE ACTIVITIES THAT YOU HAVE PURSUED OR ACCOMPLISHMENT ACHIEVED
2 - The first activity is something that falls under the "Achievement" classification of the prompt. This shows your potential as...
Undergraduateschoola - Jan 9, 2021 / Holt - Jan 10, 2021
|"My interest in Mechanical Engineering is linked to my childhood" -Texas A&M Transfer SOP
3 - Thank you so much! I will go ahead and remove the paragraph you mentioned and develop the idea of...
Undergraduateax2020 - Jan 9, 2021 / ax2020 - Jan 9, 2021
|Lafayette College: What do you do? Why do you do it? // Watch movies to understand psychology.
3 - @Holt Thank you for your feedback. My main intention with the third paragraph was to demonstrate why I am...
UndergraduateRAJVEERSODHI - Jan 8, 2021 / RAJVEERSODHI - Jan 9, 2021
|Help with content & word limit: eg of how the pandemic has changed your involvement in the community
2 - The essay does not involve itself with a community or group that you belong to. The charitable act that...
UndergraduateShrxti - Jan 8, 2021 / Holt - Jan 9, 2021
|The Best Squash - UBC Sauder Questions About Handling a Problem
UndergraduateAlaana - Jan 2, 2021 / A7zanany - Jan 8, 2021
|OVERCOMING THE BEAUTY STANDARD - UNDERGRADUATE ADMISSIONS ESSAY
Undergraduatehanasharabasy - Jan 7, 2021 / hanasharabasy - Jan 7, 2021
|The Blue Crew & Counterpoint - Additional Essay to Wellesley College
3 - Thank you @Holt. What you said is true that I'm not good at imagining the future. Thank you a...
Undergraduatetoodii2102 - Jan 5, 2021 / toodii2102 - Jan 6, 2021
|Giving "Hack" A New Name | Common Application Personal Essay [Prompt #4]
UndergraduateBearByte - Jan 3, 2021 / BearByte - Jan 4, 2021
|Write your Personal Profile for UBC application - how others describe me & something I'm proud of
2 - Delete the first paragraph. That is not a requirement in this statement. Use at least 2 different points of...
UndergraduateAx9730 - Jan 3, 2021 / Holt - Jan 3, 2021
|My common app about being stuck on the mountains of Osaka, Japan and the analogy
2 - The essay itself covers a detailed discussion of your background and development as person. It does not really cover...
UndergraduateMaryam123 - Jan 2, 2021 / Holt - Jan 3, 2021
|No More What-ifs. Commonapp Essay
2 - Neither prompt you have chosen applies to this essay. The focus of the essay is on your family alone....
Undergraduatehakuryuu - Jan 2, 2021 / Holt - Jan 2, 2021
|Tell us about who you are. Include something you are proud of and why? - Graduation and tough times
2 - As this statement is based on your character when attending to different situations, avoid using a collective description for...
Undergraduatesimonp00 - Jan 2, 2021 / Holt - Jan 2, 2021
|AIF Pandemic Information - Computer Science
2 - This is a good response to the question. However, you need to better explain why you believed that turning...
Undergraduateaylak77 - Jan 2, 2021 / Holt - Jan 2, 2021
|The university application - writing about my personal qualities which describe who I am
5 - @xuanhieu2611 Maybe think about including a situation you encountered with family or friends that captures a unique perspective...
Undergraduatexuanhieu2611 - Dec 24, 2020 / aylak77 - Jan 2, 2021
|1250 feet above the ground-view; my common application essay to verify
3 - @Holt thankyou for your review i will make the required changes and if you dont mind could you mention...
Undergraduateanushka_s - Dec 31, 2020 / anushka_s - Jan 1, 2021
|Your existence is worth more than just a piece of paper / Undocumented Asian, Origami, Common App
3 - Hi, Thank you for responding My prompt was: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is...
Undergraduatenathaniadhisty - Jan 1, 2021 / nathaniadhisty - Jan 1, 2021
|STEM and the arts - reasons for choosing the CFM program at Waterloo
2 - The educational goal needs to be more precise. It needs to show a clear decision on your part to...
Undergraduatebongos - Dec 31, 2020 / Holt - Jan 1, 2021
|"If you could meet a character from a book or a historical figure..." College Supplement Prompt
2 - The response is appropriate for the task. You have managed to show the reviewer that you have a real...
Undergraduatedansiglesia - Dec 31, 2020 / Holt - Jan 1, 2021
|Common App Essay on being the youngest sibling
UndergraduateDDKang - Dec 30, 2020 / DDKang - Dec 31, 2020
|Common App Essay - The Geometry Problem
2 - Have you settled on what common apps you would want to write about? This presentation is extremely long and...
UndergraduateSauron - Dec 31, 2020 / Holt - Dec 31, 2020
|Common App Essay - My experience with grandma's Alzheimer's
3 - Thanks for the suggestions, I will try to implement them in my final draft. Otherwise, I'd appreciate it if...
UndergraduateYahia - Dec 29, 2020 / Yahia - Dec 30, 2020
|"Crescendo" - Yale RD Supplements
Undergraduateilovechipotlealo - Dec 30, 2020 / Holt - Dec 30, 2020
|"I want to kill myself" - Brown PLME Supplemental Essay #2
3 - Yeah, I agree. you need to reflect more on yourself than focusing on others. In addition, make your introduction...
UndergraduateChizam101 - Dec 28, 2020 / Politics 786 - Dec 30, 2020
|Software engineering and computer science programs - AIF 1 Reasons and Waterloo
5 - hey there! your new version sounds much more concise and convincing! I just saw a potential error in your...
Undergraduateaylak77 - Dec 24, 2020 / cyan19 - Dec 30, 2020
|NUS Personal Statement, "elaborate your achievements and their relevance to your chosen course"
3 - Holt has already given you excellent advice, but I think you should also elaborate on specific examples of your...
Undergraduateazulamikaelson - Dec 29, 2020 / BearByte - Dec 29, 2020
|Give us an example of how the pandemic has changed your involvement in the commUBC Personal Profile
2 - The response told me more about the death of your grandmother than your involvement in a community or group...
Undergraduatekonain1 - Dec 28, 2020 / Holt - Dec 29, 2020
|The Happy Little Cow. I am from Dominican Republic, a poor country.
2 - The essay is touching, but lacking in focus. I am not sure what prompt you are responding to at...
UndergraduateIsellesueromatos - Dec 28, 2020 / Holt - Dec 29, 2020
|Caring - UBC: "Tell us about who your are and what are you proud of?"
3 - Your essay reflects your honest opinions, making it really compelling and unique. You also did a really great job...
Undergraduateastrous - Dec 28, 2020 / navss - Dec 28, 2020
|The practical values of Liberal Arts - WESLEYAN ADDITIONAL ESSAY
4 - Your response does not fit the prompt. The last paragraph should be the overall basis of your expanded response....
Undergraduatetoodii2102 - Dec 27, 2020 / Holt - Dec 28, 2020
|My success - who you are - University of British Columbia Personal profile essay
2 - Dear Meugen, I honestly feel the first paragraph is waste , when you could have talked about things you...
Undergraduatemeugen - Dec 27, 2020 / akalo - Dec 28, 2020
|sparkles in their eyes' - Some students have a meaningful background, identity, interest, or talent
2 - Hi! I suggest that you should summarize the title of your essays to short but appealing phrases that could...
UndergraduateBelsuSeyran - Dec 25, 2020 / toodii2102 - Dec 27, 2020
|UBC Personal Profile Unfamiliar Situation - Baseball Team Manager
Undergraduatenavss - Dec 26, 2020 / navss - Dec 27, 2020
|UBC - tell us about who you are: Coding/humor
2 - @geetang Don't start a paragraph with like you should start withI was inspired by movies... and make the...
Undergraduategeetang - Dec 26, 2020 / Ariana Parker - Dec 27, 2020
|UBC - tell us about who you are: I got into computer science because i missed a tournament
3 - @senseofhumour Thank you for feedback. I was trying to show how coding formed a large part of my personality...
Undergraduategeetang - Dec 25, 2020 / geetang - Dec 26, 2020
|Graduate Early from High School Prompt
2 - The change or your progression through high school should be explained in this statement. I am not sure what...
Undergraduatetyouts - Dec 25, 2020 / Holt - Dec 26, 2020
|UWATERLOO - HELP AIF FOR MECH ENG, MATH, CS
6 - All comments are appreciated! Here is a completely new take, fits the character count and sounds pretty juicy to...
Undergraduatemakineau - Dec 23, 2020 / makineau - Dec 24, 2020
|My first business - draft of personal statement - University of Victoria
2 - Rather than mentioning an actual age in the essay, which often works against your application, you would do better...
Undergraduatevmoretti - Dec 24, 2020 / Holt - Dec 24, 2020
|Waterloo AIF Nanotechnology Engineering program
5 - @makineau Thanks a lot for your advice!! I did a bit of research about clubs in Waterloo and include...
Undergraduategigi1924 - Dec 23, 2020 / gigi1924 - Dec 24, 2020
|Robotics - essay about how MIT align with my goals.
5 - @toodii2102 @Holt Hello, i have develop a completely new essay with your recommendations. One of my biggest goal...
Undergraduatedane0305 - Dec 22, 2020 / dane0305 - Dec 24, 2020
|Culture Shows & Campus-wide brain parties - WELLESLEY SUPPLEMENT ESSAYS
2 - There are 100 reasons why you would want to choose the university and you focused on only one aspect?...
Undergraduatetoodii2102 - Dec 23, 2020 / Holt - Dec 23, 2020
|A Dream of an Artist with a learning Disability
UndergraduateAriana Parker - Dec 23, 2020 / Ariana Parker - Dec 23, 2020
|What is Important to you? And Why - Bond with my mother
4 - This does not respond to the question. Sure the bond with any parent is important to a child. Most...
Undergraduatesimonp00 - Dec 21, 2020 / Holt - Dec 23, 2020
|Born in Columbia - Tips for my MIT transfer essay
Undergraduatedane0305 - Dec 19, 2020 / hphatmessi - Dec 22, 2020
|How overcoming depression shaped me.
2 - Two things that need to disappear from this discussion are the quotation at the start, which does not make...
Undergraduateiamnotsure - Dec 20, 2020 / Holt - Dec 21, 2020
|People around me - UBC Personal: What is Important to you
4 - @Holt @ekawanda Hi, thank you for your response! I was having similar doubts about my topic so this advice...
Undergraduateapinkpie - Dec 20, 2020 / apinkpie - Dec 20, 2020
|Neuroscience major - WELLESLEY SUPPLEMENT ESSAY
2 - Do not keep repeating your college major in your responses. This is starting to become a tiresome topic in...
Undergraduatetoodii2102 - Dec 18, 2020 / Holt - Dec 20, 2020
|AN ADVENTURER - PS TO VANDERBILT UNIVERSITY
3 - Hope these help. ... and friends, and in another[b]there was a secret place ... ... saw me always...
Undergraduatetoodii2102 - Dec 16, 2020 / akalo - Dec 18, 2020
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