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Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays

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Transfer common app essay. I'm a freshman in community college and looking for transfer to UMass

4 - Hello,Whenever you are completing a transfer application, you need to compare and contrast. You started to do this by...

Undergraduatepedieuda - Sep 28, 2016 / admission2012 - Yesterday
I dreamed of going to FIT and becoming a fashion designer, since I was ten.

3 - Hello,You provide a great deal of information about your background and why you will be a non-traditional learner and...

Undergraduateasundar86 - Sep 27, 2016 / admission2012 - Yesterday
Kelley School of Business - My life experiences, past and current school work, and strong commitment

3 - Hello,There are two main problems with your essay. The first is that you simply glaze over your experiences without...

Undergraduateswlw - Sep 28, 2016 / admission2012 - Yesterday
I have been learning Physics in advanced level which galvanizes me to find more books myself

2 - Hi mate,,, I have read your writing. however, there are several matter that you need to pay attention,,, ... and...

Undergraduatehuanbumdev - Sep 28, 2016 / andika_soppeng - Yesterday
An Indian living in China; University of Chicago--Help with First question

5 - Hi Mohito, It's my pleasure to share. In order to be able to develop your ideas in writing, you...

Undergraduatemohito1999 - Sep 27, 2016 / Fitri12 - Sep 28, 2016
I have not had a good English teacher since my freshman year of high school

4 - Hi Allison,You've done a good job I think. Your writing has a good flow and amazing stories. That's why...

Undergraduateallisond112 - Sep 22, 2016 / Iedha01 - Sep 28, 2016
Big City Dreams Flagler College Essay

2 - Hello Hannan I have a twice of advice to you, please pay attention if you wishIt was my first trip...

Undergraduatehannan - Sep 27, 2016 / Alamsyah Ismail - Sep 28, 2016
UCAS personal statement - Should I remove part of the intro and talk more about my accomplishments?

1 - This is my UCAS personal statement that I will send in when I am applying to university, each school...

Undergraduateobi1410 - Sep 27, 2016 / — -
How does a girl at a uniform clad school develop an interest in fashion? FIT - business management

2 - Hi Taytay, I have some suggestions to your writing, hope this can help. Although I attended a rigorous tough college preparatory...

Undergraduatetaytay10133 - Sep 25, 2016 / fauzankrn - Sep 27, 2016
Georgia Tech Essay Prompt: Students are often told what classes they should take.

5 - Thanks a lot for your useful feedback! I'm rethinking about the real values that this class offers. So I...

Undergraduatehnguyen9905 - Sep 24, 2016 / hnguyen9905 - Sep 26, 2016
QuestBridge National College Match Short Answers

7 - Hi justivy03, thank you for taking the time to review all my answers! However, I think you may have...

Undergraduateangeli6778 - Sep 18, 2016 / angeli6778 - Sep 25, 2016
QuestBridge Short Essays for the National College Match

2 - "When the mail, I often find a variety of bills ... " should be "when the mail comes, i...

UndergraduateNeferbeth - Sep 24, 2016 / taytay10133 - Sep 25, 2016
QuestBridge biographical essay - "Here's one special skill you won't see on my resume"

11 - Hi Xiaoyu,I think the new draft is definitely a step up from your original draft, and I think you...

Undergraduateangeli6778 - Sep 10, 2016 / aikoashiya - Sep 24, 2016
'major in Philosophy Pre-Law and law school'; University of Washington Tacoma - Personal Statement

2 - nice essay.. I immediately note the switch in culture, people, and language. I leave the airport, and with my...

Undergraduatetamarafakhoury - Sep 23, 2016 / rofiat - Sep 23, 2016
Tell us an experience in school or out that taught you something about yourself or the world around

4 - hi,i have some suggestion for you,hope it will be helpful ^^... who doesn't believe in myself and never feel...

Undergraduaterofiat - Sep 22, 2016 / hoangduc241096 - Sep 23, 2016
"How did you first learn about Rice University, and what motivated you to apply?" - Essay Qustions

2 - Hello.. These are my thoughts about your grammar... colleges I was about 12 YEARS OLD. Obviously I didn't DID NOT...

Undergraduateredred212 - Sep 23, 2016 / akbarmappiare - Sep 23, 2016
A girl who is sitting in the farthest corners of the room. Common App Essay -- Interest in Reading

3 - Hi Tina, Nice essay, but for your improvement, this is some suggestions for you.1. I am a the girl...

UndergraduateTdesamito - Sep 22, 2016 / dils - Sep 22, 2016
Questbridge Ethical Dilemna - Finding Unity in the fight to balance God and Life

3 - Hi Hoooni,It's pleasure to help you on your writing. Concerned with that, here my suggestions for you.1. The occasional...

Undergraduatehunion - Sep 21, 2016 / dils - Sep 21, 2016
An obstacle i overcame to improve the live of another, how i reacted to it and what i learnt from it

3 - Hello diamonde, this is some corrections for you : As I was ponderingpondered (it is better in the past form...

Undergraduatediamonde - Sep 20, 2016 / FirmanRomadhon20 - Sep 21, 2016
250-650 word transfer essay from the common app. Why am I transferring and what are my goals?

11 - Hi, I think this is a great improvement over your previous draft. This seems a lot more persuasive....

Undergraduatequrfy - Sep 13, 2016 / TJLuschen - Sep 20, 2016
USC Supplement - My father is a goose

2 - Hi, I thought this was fantastic. I can only make a few suggestions: ... normal sounds of...

Undergraduatesuomi0610 - Sep 19, 2016 / TJLuschen - Sep 20, 2016
Curiosity has always been my besetting sin. UWC application essay.

3 - Hi Asif,As I read your essay, here some suggestions for you.1. I have always tried try to... ...

Undergraduateaxif_asif - Sep 18, 2016 / dils - Sep 19, 2016
Rich natural resources vs pollution and deforestation; how my study and degree will help my country?

4 - Check it out for me please Goal, my involvement and the outcome of one significant community leadership that I played...

Undergraduatediamonde - Sep 18, 2016 / diamonde - Sep 18, 2016
Environmental issues, water resources. Brief statement about personal goal and academic goal

3 - Thanks @Ssakshijain check this out for meEnvironmental issues, especially water resources have always fascinated me. Water is a vital component...

Undergraduatediamonde - Sep 18, 2016 / diamonde - Sep 18, 2016
Depression riddled teen turn college bound revolutionary! COMMON APP ESSAY

2 - "they stand regalia of the growth of my character" I'm not sure you're using the word 'regalia' correctly, as...

Undergraduatezarmona - Sep 17, 2016 / angeli6778 - Sep 18, 2016
The Puzzle Piece that is F.I.T. - Fashion Institute of Technology admission essay

3 - Hi pleasehelpessay! I have some advice for you:Based on my experiences, you should not repeating the question given on...

Undergraduatepleasehelpessay - Sep 15, 2016 / kiki23 - Sep 16, 2016
Cycle of Leaves: As the leaves began to turn in the fall of 2005, my reality changed with them

2 - Dear Fleurdj, here are some advices for your essay, feel free to correct me if I get wrong,well, in...

Undergraduatefleurdj - Sep 15, 2016 / fadhilmd25 - Sep 16, 2016
Nomination Essay (Academic Writing on Education in South Korea)

2 - Hi, Lucy. I'm really impressed with the use of varied vocabularies that make your essay profound. Let me give...

Undergraduateblueocean7 - Sep 15, 2016 / Yuyahhhh - Sep 15, 2016
Can you write about a leader or well-known person who has influenced you and why?

2 - hai shanmui let give you several correctionIf you are, like me have been raised ... ... and how they became influential...

Undergraduateshinmuoi - Sep 15, 2016 / mdamanhuri77 - Sep 15, 2016
There is only one occasion that solidly marked my transition from my childhood. Soccer -- Chemistry

4 - Hi Tungphan, This is good writing, I just have some suggestions for you. 1. There are many things WHICH...

Undergraduatetungphan99 - Sep 14, 2016 / FirmanRomadhon20 - Sep 15, 2016
"Your perfect Monday morning?" Personal Statement Hospitality College

3 - Hi @sofiamaria,- programme within your faculty correct: programme with in your faculty, you should...

Undergraduatesofiamaria - Sep 14, 2016 / deanarin - Sep 15, 2016
Even until this day, I still remember what some monk said once to me about success

6 - Hello, I have read your essay and i think it is a very interesting topic. It such like a motivating...

UndergraduateLexusnguyen1995 - Sep 5, 2016 / Iedha01 - Sep 13, 2016
My first thought was always UCF when I heard the question about my future plans

4 - Hi! So I honestly really like your essay but besides the minor grammar edits that have already been commented...

Undergraduatecarleyfa - Sep 11, 2016 / lylreaganmac - Sep 13, 2016
"Don't you see? Syracuse is Syracuse" - impact on my decision for choosing this university

4 - Hello, For my opinion, you should use more academic words in your essay. The jury will appreciate that for your essay's...

Undergraduatejuju070799 - Sep 10, 2016 / thphuong1911 - Sep 12, 2016
Write about an Issue of Importance --- Presidential Election --- UofTexas prompt

2 - Hi Landon, welcome to EssayForum, an online essay writing support. First, I would like to remind you to use...

Undergraduatelandperk - Sep 9, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Sep 10, 2016
Leadership, progress, and service I have portrayed in last three years.

3 - Hi Jaimin, I believe this is my first review of your essay and with this I say WELCOME to...

UndergraduateJaZZyCooL - Sep 8, 2016 / justivy03 - Sep 8, 2016
My profile is interesting - I write about introducing myself

4 - Hi Praew, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Team, I hope you find this website to be valuable and a...

UndergraduatePraewpan38 - Sep 7, 2016 / justivy03 - Sep 7, 2016
I choose Ritsumeikan University because... Can someone review an application essay?

3 - I agree this is a very good essay. Please allow me to make some suggestions:It is only towards...

UndergraduateSmansa101 - Sep 7, 2016 / TJLuschen - Sep 7, 2016
Unique Qualities / University of Michigan (essay by a conflicted and undecided student)

2 - OK, for one thing, that "it's vast curriculum" is almost causing me physical pain. but I really like your...

Undergraduatedaisyidk - Sep 7, 2016 / TJLuschen - Sep 7, 2016
'I am a messy perfectionist' - SAIC personal statement / artist statement

2 - Hi, I really liked your essay. Your introduction seemed a little choppy, because the first half had a...

Undergraduatequeeny210 - Sep 5, 2016 / TJLuschen - Sep 6, 2016
"Me Do" moments - Common App. Essay

3 - Hi Mary, first of all, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, I hope you find this website to be...

Undergraduatemarygram - Sep 5, 2016 / justivy03 - Sep 6, 2016
There wasn't no one to push me to do my best in the school in Jamaica

4 - Hi shaw, - I was born in Jamaica, growing up growth in there was very hard because no...

Undergraduateshawnakay2017 - Sep 5, 2016 / Faridadwi18 - Sep 6, 2016
Georgia Tech undergraduate application prompt. Apply for chemical engineering

9 - Got it ! Thanks!...

Undergraduatemaxinemiu - Sep 2, 2016 / maxinemiu - Sep 5, 2016
"Bump, set, spike" COLLEGE ESSAY ADVICE! Volleyball Struggle Essay!

4 - I personally love the way how you deliver your thoughts in writing. And both the above comments are great...

Undergraduatezdiflo13 - Sep 4, 2016 / ichanpants89 - Sep 5, 2016
Nursing is not only a deep-rooted passion for me; it is my way of life.

2 - hai mr shanoon i have some suggestions for you :... passion for me;, but also it is my way of...

UndergraduateShannon7792 - Sep 4, 2016 / rian31 - Sep 5, 2016
Common Application - prison rides

2 - ... for high school, but the physical medium security, barbed wire-encased, building. (the word physical threw me off a...

Undergraduateelenahapworth - Sep 4, 2016 / mandeute - Sep 5, 2016
Given funding for a small engineering project UVA essay.

5 - What I feel; you can conclude in a better way like how it will be beneficial to enhance your...

Undergraduatespachelord - Sep 1, 2016 / SV kumar - Sep 2, 2016
Teachers should be paid at least as much as doctors, lawyers or businessman

1 - If one asks who is in the caregiver of a garden filling with flowers? It must be the teacher,...

Undergraduateblablabla - Sep 2, 2016 / — -
My family environment has influenced who I am today. UCF Admissions Essay

4 - Right. I think your "family history" really means your culture or where your family is from....

UndergraduateD_Nae - Aug 31, 2016 / TJLuschen - Sep 2, 2016
Suggestions and reviewing on what I have so far explaining about my circumstances and aspects.

3 - No no I love your idea and it is clear and outlined perfectly for me to concentrate and address...

Undergraduatemia_amare - Sep 1, 2016 / mia_amare - Sep 1, 2016
Address the admissions committee directly and let us know more about you as an individual

4 - Great - thanks for the information. Now I see a definite main idea and this could be an...

Undergraduatemia_amare - Sep 1, 2016 / TJLuschen - Sep 1, 2016
Nomination Essay - What motivates you to attend a service academy?

3 - Hai Emma! Nice to see you in essay forum. Here is my little feedback.I began my college searching touring...

Undergraduateemmarecord - Sep 1, 2016 / ashelarisa48 - Sep 1, 2016
I am more than a two digit number

3 - Thank you so much, that helped a lot....

Undergraduateninamy20 - Aug 31, 2016 / ninamy20 - Aug 31, 2016
' I am looking for a change of pace' - Why University of Chicago? (Be brutally honest)

3 - Beyond a lot of grammatical errors that you need to clean up, I think your essay really needs a...

Undergraduatealeng - Aug 28, 2016 / aikoashiya - Aug 31, 2016
Why Uchicago essay - I'm not sure about it. Tear it apart...

4 - Hello Molly,To be a little more critical, I would say that you do not fully answer the prompt, especially...

Undergraduatemchammer - Aug 28, 2016 / aikoashiya - Aug 31, 2016
'to shed off a couple of pounds' - Apply Texas Topic A Transfer U.S. - SOP

4 - I'll post a revised essay as soon as I can! I appreciate the feedback! You have no idea how helpful...

Undergraduatecanuck19 - Aug 29, 2016 / canuck19 - Aug 31, 2016
'Movies like Iron man and Avengers have inspired me' - why mechanical engineering as my major?

2 - Hi Jaamin Patel. Welcome to Essay Forum. Fortunately, you have been the right medium to finalize your writing. Please, let...

UndergraduateJaZZyCooL - Aug 29, 2016 / akbarmappiare - Aug 29, 2016
How to write an essay about Introduce myself ?

6 - Hallo, here is my correction. Hope it helps..Now, I'm studying in the third year in industrial ...... older than...

UndergraduateYennguyen - Aug 27, 2016 / ashelarisa48 - Aug 28, 2016
Personal Narrative Essay Topic: write about something that impacted your life, must be in past tense

4 - @ichanpants89 Would you recommend I change the title?...

Undergraduatestudystacksat - Aug 24, 2016 / studystacksat - Aug 26, 2016
"Playin' it the right way" - CommonApp'16 Essay

4 - Hi Arthavmane,- I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AN INDOOR GUY. Maybe because I never found friends I could play with. I...

UndergraduateArthavmane - Aug 21, 2016 / Faridadwi18 - Aug 22, 2016

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