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Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays

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University of Connecticut transfer essay - Storrs campus

2 - Eshan, the direction of your essay should take on a comparative look as to why you believe that Broward...

UndergraduateKoenigseggseggse - 03:24am / Holt - 03:41am
Everything starts from its core - Georgia Tech Short Answers

4 - If you would just remove the reference to the "living species" and the humor will be well placed. I...

Undergraduatesalsabluer - Yesterday / Holt - Yesterday
For the majority of my life, I underestimated the importance of physical health. Issue of Importance

3 - Morgan, the essay is really very prompt responsive on a personal level. The only problem is that it tends...

UndergraduateMorgannh - Feb 23, 2017 / Holt - Yesterday
What really blew my mind was electricity. Waterloo "Engineering" essay

7 - Thanks a lot! :D...

UndergraduateEiad21 - Feb 23, 2017 / Eiad21 - Feb 23, 2017
We want to read about what makes you special. Tell us something about yourself

5 - Hi @vcerpasalas! In my opinion, there we some errors with the use of comma. Also, please observe proper...

Undergraduatevcerpasalas - Feb 15, 2017 / gcki - Feb 22, 2017
Define the highlights of your most crucial accomplishments or tasks inputs.

4 - As I mentioned in my previous response, your contribution should be something that has a personal meaning to you....

UndergraduateTrouvaille 05 - Feb 22, 2017 / Holt - Feb 22, 2017
Waterloo "reasons for choosing" essay - two portions answer

10 - Thanks a lot for your patience with me :D Writing isn't really my strong suit but I try to...

UndergraduateEiad21 - Feb 19, 2017 / Eiad21 - Feb 21, 2017
My career path is not straight. College Transfer Essay - Statement of Purpose

2 - Morgan, try to focus on the actual purpose behind the reason for your transfer. If you are transferring based...

UndergraduateMorgannh - Feb 19, 2017 / Holt - Feb 20, 2017
Selected program of study and the aim to make durable, easy to fix, and upgradable electronics

5 - @greyhamster I just came here to cheer you up! I'm a writing learner too. Let's keep it up and...

Undergraduategreyhamster - Feb 16, 2017 / goo9dan - Feb 19, 2017
I plan to get a doctorate in Clinical Neuropsychology - UNIV. OF TEXAS SOP (PSYCHOLOGY/NEUROSCIENCE)

6 - Tana, I see where you are coming from now. The essay that you wrote includes the important elements I...

UndergraduateNervera - Feb 18, 2017 / Holt - Feb 19, 2017
Mesmerizing world of Chemistry - Personal Statement on my activities and plans for next years

2 - Pam, the only revision to your essay that I can suggest at this point is the removal of the...

Undergraduatepamveerapen - Feb 17, 2017 / Holt - Feb 18, 2017
Something went out not like I expected

6 - I am of a different opinion on this matter. Due to the fact that your previous response already spoke...

UndergraduateAABMOSALAM1998 - Feb 15, 2017 / Holt - Feb 16, 2017
Queen's Commerce: Describe the most important constructive criticism you have received

2 - @jlee99 Hi, jessica. I rewrite your essay. Of course, I am not good at writing a essay, I just...

Undergraduatejlee99 - Feb 15, 2017 / ilskyilsky - Feb 16, 2017
Personal insight questions for applying schools.

4 - Please find few grammatical errors. Every students here have sad stories punish them probably because she feels her...

Undergraduatejohnny165234 - Feb 14, 2017 / sinchana2017 - Feb 15, 2017
How helping others helps you? MIT essay

5 - I would not have finished it earlier than I did in my previous essays without your help, thank you...

UndergraduateAABMOSALAM1998 - Feb 15, 2017 / AABMOSALAM1998 - Feb 15, 2017
Tell us about your experience learning English. How often do you use English in your daily life?

4 - Valeria, at the point where the essay asks you "How often do you use English in your daily life?",...

Undergraduatevcerpasalas - Feb 15, 2017 / Holt - Feb 15, 2017
My dream school. The spirits of MIT's community is unlike anywhere else

21 - Thank you for your valuable feedback :) @Holt...

UndergraduateAABMOSALAM1998 - Feb 14, 2017 / AABMOSALAM1998 - Feb 15, 2017
Queen's University Commerce Application Essay

2 - Jessica, try to expand a bit more on the athletic sponsorship aspect as something that you hope to enter...

Undergraduatejlee99 - Feb 14, 2017 / Holt - Feb 14, 2017
Brainstorming session with you to help me direct essay of 250 words for college LAC

4 - Okay. Since there is no specific prompt for this essay, you should focus on introducing yourself to the reviewer...

Undergraduateesfo2017 - Feb 14, 2017 / Holt - Feb 14, 2017
Alzheimer's unit. Guidance needed in editing peace corps motivation statement

6 - The only part of this essay that needs more development is the first paragraph. In my opinion, you need...

Undergraduatemimi009p - Feb 11, 2017 / Holt - Feb 12, 2017
Describe an exceptional achievement and lesson learned in your academic experience.

4 - Hi @atrix, I am studying currently in a Singapore university (NUS). I feel what the university looks for...

Undergraduateatrix - Feb 11, 2017 / Malavika Venu - Feb 12, 2017
Personal Statement - A requirement to get a Letter of Acceptance from University

6 - Bagu, you still have paragraph one in this essay when I already told you to remove it. If you...

Undergraduatebagusetyawan - Feb 11, 2017 / Holt - Feb 12, 2017
"One Last Chance"- Transfer essay for MIT

15 - As the moderator pointed out, you can post new essays once you have helped others with their work. If...

UndergraduateAABMOSALAM1998 - Feb 9, 2017 / Holt - Feb 11, 2017
My high school courses of Chemistry, Physics and Biology intrigued my desire to pursue Pharmacy

3 - The essay has to be no more than two pages...

Undergraduatemickeyyyy - Feb 6, 2017 / mickeyyyy - Feb 6, 2017
Soak up knowledge - University of Washington Personal Statement 2017

4 - Lin, there is a discrepancy in your opening statement. You claim that you enrolled at Seattle Central College to...

Undergraduatetzuwen - Feb 5, 2017 / Holt - Feb 5, 2017
My most memorable experience: 21st November, just after my birthday; Colony Cricket League

6 - Hi Jnanam, it certainly feels good on our part to know that you are confident enough to say that...

UndergraduateJnanam Shah - Feb 24, 2014 / Holt - Feb 5, 2017
Waterloo AIF- My goals and interest and my reason for choosing Waterloo

10 - @Holt Thanks a lot!...

UndergraduateChibi1 - Dec 31, 2016 / Chibi1 - Feb 4, 2017
Why are you interested in The College of Wooster? College Application Essay

4 - @Holt @lukme Thank you very much for the comments and advice to my essays. I felt that I...

Undergraduatemarkja - Jan 29, 2017 / markja - Feb 2, 2017
"Youth connectors of future" Program by Swedish Institute.

5 - @Shamsher sing The line from the second paragraph "Predominantly ... poverty" is quiet wordy. Try to break it into...

UndergraduateShamsher sing - Feb 1, 2017 / aravee - Feb 2, 2017
Young entrepreneur experiences - FIT entrance essay

6 - Hi, you did good job but you work have some mistake and I will give you some advise .your...

Undergraduateheliza - Feb 1, 2017 / maitouyen1 - Feb 2, 2017
I Was Bullied as a Kid - Essay Question: Tell us more about yourself.

3 - @TGorsi Hi! Your work is really good but it has some problems.Firstly, grammatical problem.For example, Eventually, I was tired...

UndergraduateTGorsi - Feb 2, 2017 / maitouyen1 - Feb 2, 2017
Desi. Common Application Essay - "Underrepresented"

2 - Hi Izzy, you wrote a very interesting personal essay that can best be used as a background story, not...

UndergraduateIzzyRen - Feb 1, 2017 / Holt - Feb 2, 2017
Me, as a part of the strategic planning board of one of the multinational corporations

14 - @Holt May thanks for your continuous support during preparation of those essays. I'd like to come back to you...

UndergraduateAhmed_Sanad - Jan 29, 2017 / Ahmed_Sanad - Feb 1, 2017
Essay for Yale Young Global Scholars summer program

7 - Good work Marianne! This is the concluding paragraph that you should definitely use in the essay. It provides the...

UndergraduateMarianneB - Jan 30, 2017 / Holt - Feb 1, 2017
Minority in a diversity -------UW Mad------- Something unnoticed, importance to me.

3 - Merged: 'What is life, but a constant struggle to live?' Consider something unnoticed. My Past. UW Madison ...

UndergraduateNaty - Jan 19, 2017 / NataliaSotelo - Feb 1, 2017
I belong to the community of honor guard members

5 - Cheng, before you launch into the discussion of the way the honor guard functions as a team and as...

UndergraduateMWC - Jan 31, 2017 / Holt - Jan 31, 2017
From a homebody to the active body. UW Madison Essay -- Something important but unnoticed

19 - @Holt thanks for all the help !! i really appreciate your efforts !...

Undergraduatebarney - Jan 18, 2017 / barney - Jan 30, 2017
A letter on the reasons why I need a scholarship

13 - A big thank you to Holt and Chizy!...

Undergraduatediamante - Jan 22, 2017 / diamante - Jan 30, 2017
UIUC Transfer | Passionate about Aerospace; Applying to Mechanical instead

2 - Bassel, try to impress the reviewer with your final paragraph by portraying a definite research idea that you can...

UndergraduateBAJ1997 - Jan 29, 2017 / Holt - Jan 30, 2017
Stopping the spread of invasive species

3 - Jonathan, before you launch into the discussion of how to stop the spread of illegal fish in the Northern...

UndergraduateJohnnyk5432 - Jan 29, 2017 / Holt - Jan 30, 2017
Personal User Manual: Introducing Yourself to Your Instructor

2 - Vaidehi, I am sure that the term "joint family" makes perfect sense in your vernacular language. However, it is...

Undergraduatevaidu_2000 - Jan 29, 2017 / Holt - Jan 29, 2017
I really want to earn this chance; Exchange student program - self-introduction

6 - Hi @muggy. I am not really good at english but I can give you some advice about your essay...

Undergraduatemuggy - Jan 24, 2017 / maitouyen1 - Jan 27, 2017
I've been told that I'll never make it... Fashion Institute of Technology admissions essay

2 - Imani, the personal statement for FIT always has one pivotal requirement that your essay currently underrepresents, that of your...

UndergraduateImanijo - Jan 27, 2017 / Holt - Jan 27, 2017
Medical Dietetics Undergraduate Application Personal Statement - 300 words of my life

7 - Danielle, why don't you try to represent your mindset regarding being healthy as having been influenced by the advertisements...

Undergraduateroberts1641 - Jan 25, 2017 / Holt - Jan 27, 2017
Applying in Turkish Universities, expectation from studying in Turkey and express the future plans

3 - Alinda, your response is good. However, it requires editing. Remember that you cannot start an academic response with the...

UndergraduateAlindaputri - Jan 26, 2017 / Holt - Jan 26, 2017
Exchanging ideas and sharing experiences. Applying in scholarship, Essay about my interests.

12 - @Alindaputri Meet with new people is fun for me. I do believe that this sentence is irrelevant. And I...

UndergraduateAlindaputri - Jan 9, 2017 / Ahmed_Sanad - Jan 26, 2017
Describe the factors that have most influenced you and your hopes and dreams.

9 - Charlotte, I can tell that you did your best to deliver a totally new essay that would best suit...

Undergraduatecharzbk - Jan 15, 2017 / Holt - Jan 23, 2017
1. How'd you like to learn about by attending this conference?

4 - Van, based upon the instructions / expectations of the conference hosts, it seems that there is a particular set...

Undergraduatebawimang - Jan 23, 2017 / Holt - Jan 23, 2017
'the biggest leap of my life' - Fashion Institute of Technology / Fashion Business Management essay

5 - Maya, the only relevant portion of your essay in terms of the prompt requirement does not start until paragraph...

Undergraduatemayakay - Dec 11, 2016 / Holt - Jan 23, 2017
7 billion individuals. What goes Unnoticed in My Life and Why It's Important to Me

3 - Tara, the topic that you chose to discuss is interesting, but turned out to be too broad in scope...

Undergraduateleafury - Jan 22, 2017 / Holt - Jan 23, 2017
MIT UPDATES- working as a chemical engineer

6 - Diva, I am confused by the declaration that you made in the first paragraph. Who has the BSC from...

Undergraduatedivalo - Jan 21, 2017 / Holt - Jan 23, 2017
NUS Asean Scholarship Personal Statement-Key qualities.

4 - Lim, there are still some major points of correction in your essay that require an increased word count on...

Undergraduatedesinlim - Jan 20, 2017 / Holt - Jan 22, 2017
Transfer essay: "I want an intellectually stimulating education at a research-oriented school"

3 - In this case, The approach should be mentioning your career goals with concrete points and how University of Illinois...

Undergraduateskazo - Jan 21, 2017 / Hjamil - Jan 21, 2017
My Penn Supplement Essay: How is it?

3 - @Holt Thank you for your feedback. I will work on it.:)...

UndergraduateNeppenn - Jan 20, 2017 / Neppenn - Jan 20, 2017
Young Hands - my childish enthusiasm at my very fingertips. Common App Personal Statement

3 - Anthea, I am not sure why you are discussing your musical inclination in this essay. How does this relate...

Undergraduatetchaikovsky - Jan 18, 2017 / Holt - Jan 18, 2017
How I overcame my fear of public speaking - UBC Business Tech Management Personal Profile

4 - @anxjos. Is quite okay. But my little addition is that yiu should say you have always looked for an...

Undergraduateanxjso - Jan 14, 2017 / Knockout - Jan 17, 2017
'the choice to change the world' Spelman College Transfer Essay

11 - @Holt Thank you very much - for your guidance and assistance on my essay!!...

Undergraduatemayline87 - Jan 8, 2017 / mayline87 - Jan 17, 2017
Loyola Marymount Supplement - The primary purpose of education

3 - Selin, like Ichan said, you have to get your essays into the Urgent thread if you have a short...

Undergraduatesweetsenior - Jan 16, 2017 / Holt - Jan 17, 2017
Virginia tech - Our motto is UT Promise. How is service to others important for you?

2 - Nathan, Ut Prosim which is the Latin motto of Virginia Tech literally means "That I may serve". The prompt...

UndergraduatenathanL - Jan 16, 2017 / Holt - Jan 17, 2017
A talk with an ex-homeless person - UBC personal profile

6 - I think your essay could get much stronger if you emphasized how you felt when you heard that man's...

UndergraduateDluusional - Jan 14, 2017 / sweetsenior - Jan 16, 2017

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