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Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays

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[KGSP-U] Our Future is Determined by Our Reactions, Not by Our Situations

2 - This is the worst reason / motivation to study in Korea. Unless you have an actual dream /...

Undergraduatedmsdryn - Apr 5, 2021 / Holt - Apr 6, 2021
For a happier tomorrow - The American University in Cairo essay

2 - You described what the university is best known for in relation to Psychology. You have not described how you...

UndergraduateOnoud - Mar 30, 2021 / Holt - Mar 31, 2021
My Interest in Life Sciences - NUS Personal Statement

NEW - Hi, I need some help in cutting this essay down to 2000 characters and structuring it better. I also...

Undergraduaterebecca02_essays - Mar 29, 2021 / — -
First time I wrote an essay - Questbridge: An experience that caused you to change your perspective

2 - It is not a "poor me" essay. Rather, it is a self-analysis that shows the reviewer how far you...

UndergraduatePocket Friend - Mar 21, 2021 / Holt - Mar 22, 2021
Business Management course - STATEMENT OF PURPOSE FOR UNIVERSITY PROGRAM AND SCHOLARSHIP

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for your contribution. But as I am a high school student and I'm applying...

Undergraduatedothinganha - Mar 19, 2021 / dothinganha - Mar 20, 2021
Ukrainian Student - AN EXCELLENT PARTICIPANT IN THE GLOBAL UGRAD PROGRAM

3 - That's definitely! You need to substantiate more about the effect on changes in the lives of the members of...

Undergraduatevalerija - Mar 9, 2021 / Blackrain - Mar 16, 2021
I'm able to understand how far I can go and the effort that it requires; UGRAD Program participation

2 - This is the most community relevant aspect of your discussion. Yet, it fails to portray you in a...

UndergraduateDavidaguilark - Mar 13, 2021 / Holt - Mar 14, 2021
Academic Goal and Study Plan - AMA+ Undergraduate Scholarship 2022

3 - @Holt thank you so much!! :D...

Undergraduatemiriyome - Mar 11, 2021 / miriyome - Mar 12, 2021
Columbia SHP - interests and background in science and mathematics. Biology & Math is everywhere

2 - The explanation is direct to the point and simplistic in its approach. That, is where I see a problem...

Undergraduatevivi0627 - Mar 11, 2021 / Holt - Mar 11, 2021
My thirst for knowledge - benefitting from study at American University in Cairo

2 - The question is, to me, forward thinking in presentation. How will you benefit from a university education is equivalent...

UndergraduateShazaMamdouh - Mar 9, 2021 / Holt - Mar 10, 2021
UGRAD - I can resolve Georgia's internal and external problems

3 - @Holt Thanks for the answer,I already started fixing the said points by your advice,it really was dry and missing...

UndergraduateSeenBetterDes - Mar 8, 2021 / SeenBetterDes - Mar 9, 2021
"Write Down Your Key Achievements"- GIST undergraduate admission. If possible, kindly help me out.

2 - A reviewer will read this presentation and realize that there is nothing special about you. What you consider achievements...

UndergraduateShakerin Aakash - Mar 7, 2021 / Holt - Mar 8, 2021
Application for the math program of the university of Waterloo - AIF form essay

7 - With a limited number of characters, maybe you can answer more directly to what they ask so that you...

Undergraduateremy - Feb 10, 2021 / Umbu Richy - Mar 5, 2021
Own glass of lemonade. A REALIZATION THAT SPARKED A PERIOD OF PERSONAL GROWTH OR NEW UNDERSTANDING

2 - You are spreading yourself too thin in this essay. You only need one period of realization. The Lemon and...

Undergraduatenklinh2308 - Mar 4, 2021 / Holt - Mar 5, 2021
College Supplementary Essay (Computer Science Major)

3 - Thank you so much for your feedback. Thanks to your advice, I was able to see how off my...

Undergraduateum2020 - Mar 1, 2021 / um2020 - Mar 1, 2021
PERSONAL STATEMENT TO UNIVERSITY - BUSINESS AND MANAGEMENT

3 - @Holt The length of the required PS is from 1-3 pages and ahould include ( seft introduction, what motives...

Undergraduatenganhacindy - Feb 28, 2021 / nganhacindy - Mar 1, 2021
'...feel the sweetness of life after struggling'; GKS Undergraduate application - personal statement

2 - The motivation factor being referred to in this case is not your motivation to study in Korea. Rather, it...

Undergraduatecarlaputri - Feb 28, 2021 / Holt - Feb 28, 2021
Global UGRAD 2021. Describe a time when you encountered a conflict and how you handled it

3 - @Holt I'm working as a teacher part-time after completing an introductory teaching course provided by an online language school,...

Undergraduatedaryamkvchk - Feb 23, 2021 / daryamkvchk - Feb 25, 2021
The natural world - Texas A&M College Station transfer essay prompt A

3 - @Holt Thank you for your feedback I agree and will make the changes....

UndergraduateAtrox - Feb 23, 2021 / Atrox - Feb 25, 2021
Canadian entrepreneurs - Waterloo AIF, first question of Part A

3 - When you're talking about future goals, you need to provide a more solid educational and working experience background to...

UndergraduateOlaMercedes - Feb 19, 2021 / Pradausa - Feb 22, 2021
REASONS FOR CHOOSING YOUR PROGRAM AND WATERLOO - AIF form math (data science) essay

NEW - feel free to give any advices! Question 1: REASONS FOR CHOOSING YOUR PROGRAM AND WATERLOO (*REQUIRED) Please tell...

Undergraduatenasha123 - Feb 18, 2021 / — -
Math, coop system - AIF-Reasons for Choosing The Programs

2 - You have to allot 300 characters per program. Revise the essay to clearly present your educational goal and Waterloo...

Undergraduateiwillbeaccepted - Feb 17, 2021 / Holt - Feb 17, 2021
Reasons to choose Waterloo and mechanical engineering- Help with AIF

2 - Summarize your educational goals. It is too long. You should be able to better explain that within 2 sentences...

Undergraduatetroyswack - Feb 16, 2021 / Holt - Feb 17, 2021
BIOMEDICAL SCIENCES - University of Waterloo AIF

4 - I believe that the reasons you give for the university of Waterloo are not specific enough and still fall...

Undergraduatehat2003 - Feb 14, 2021 / AeroSAE98 - Feb 15, 2021
Interest in Engineering question for Waterloo

3 - Would this be a reasonable essay for the first prompt?...

Undergraduateipuga - Feb 13, 2021 / ipuga - Feb 14, 2021
Application Form: Provide any additional information about your High School science and math

2 - The last sentence is irrelevant. What you should have done was used a few of the word count to...

Undergraduateceleztina - Feb 12, 2021 / Holt - Feb 13, 2021
Becoming a doctor while my trans girlfriend becomes a woman - transfer essay

2 - You covered most of the required elements in this discussion. While it is all compelling and up to date...

Undergraduatehaileybugj - Feb 10, 2021 / Holt - Feb 10, 2021
The programming process - Q1 Waterloo AIF - "Why I applied to Waterloo Software Eng and Comp Sci"

2 - Since this is a character limited essay, you should not use irrelevant opening sentences such as the one you...

UndergraduatewannaB - Feb 9, 2021 / Holt - Feb 9, 2021
Why to become a Sonographer?

2 - The first paragraph doesn't really focus on the needed content. The reviewer will not be interested in reading that...

Undergraduateelisalopezp01 - Feb 3, 2021 / Holt - Feb 3, 2021
Maths/Comp Sci Waterloo AIF; discuss your interest in your chosen program(s)

2 - Your educational goals are quite impressive. However, your decision to enroll in Waterloo is commonplace. It does not carry...

UndergraduateBlazeKush - Jan 31, 2021 / Holt - Feb 1, 2021
Second Bachelor's Statement for Linguistics - Flow and Cohesion

3 - @Holt, thank you very much for your feedback. I've reworked my essay using this as my base and am...

UndergraduateSchwa - Jan 27, 2021 / Schwa - Jan 31, 2021
Educational Goals & Interests; Digital Media & Computer Science

2 - The presentation is clear and shows a definite interest in the individual programs as both individual courses and, a...

Undergraduatefreshmango - Jan 27, 2021 / Holt - Jan 27, 2021
My Application Essay for Fashion School in New York

2 - You should definitely write more since you still have the space to do so. The essay was fantastic in...

Undergraduatefashionista28 - Jan 26, 2021 / Holt - Jan 26, 2021
[PERSONAL STATEMENT KGSP-U] - I wonder if I'm being sentimental

4 - @Holt and @nhunggngu Thank you for taking the time to give some advices. I'm glad that I started early...

Undergraduateagusaefulloh - Jan 17, 2021 / agusaefulloh - Jan 23, 2021
My education - Trinity College Supplemental Essay: How would you contribute?

3 - Hi @Holt, these are fantastic suggestions! I shall get working on them right away. Thank you for your help!...

UndergraduateRAJVEERSODHI - Jan 19, 2021 / RAJVEERSODHI - Jan 19, 2021
Entering a software engineering programme but have no relevant background whatsoever.

2 - There is no exceptional achievement or impressive lesson learned in this presentation. These are normal and average on the...

Undergraduateimsmooth - Jan 19, 2021 / Holt - Jan 19, 2021
Motivation Letter for Stipendium Hungaricum in Engineering field - Education is the key

3 - Hi there! Nice to know you. Dear @Holt, please excuse me, I'd like to add more feedbacks on this...

Undergraduateswitnaura - Jan 14, 2021 / yesayagm - Jan 15, 2021
UBC PERSONAL PROFILE, WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU AND WHY? "Effort"

3 - Hi! I believe you have written a highly impressive response which is sure to reflect well on your application....

Undergraduatehighschoolstuden - Jan 14, 2021 / RAJVEERSODHI - Jan 15, 2021
Academic objectives and indicate how these are appropriate to your long-range goals.

2 - Start off with the actual topic sentence. Reverse the presentation to kick - off with, "Being an avid technophile..."...

Undergraduatebetheguy - Jan 14, 2021 / Holt - Jan 15, 2021
Health Studies Program [AIF] -University Of Waterloo Entrance

3 - Thank you for your evaluation. I would notice it....

UndergraduateRosie Do - Jan 12, 2021 / Rosie Do - Jan 15, 2021
Both my parents - UBC Draft - What is important to you?

6 - I think your short paragraph is really nice but you have to concentrate on the Subject. It requires "skill"...

Undergraduateparinitashetty - Dec 30, 2020 / chaodendinhmo128 - Jan 14, 2021
Waterloo AIF Advice - What could I improve? Question about educational goals, interest in program...

2 - This is what they call a non-answer. At first glance, it appears that you are responding to the prompt....

Undergraduatepnksociety - Jan 13, 2021 / Holt - Jan 14, 2021
Overcoming a static mindset

2 - You are 15 words over the limit without addressing any aspect of the prompt requirement. There is no reference...

Undergraduateavery33 - Jan 12, 2021 / Holt - Jan 13, 2021
My independence and ability to materialize goals - Tell us about who you are

2 - You are focused only on your proudest achievement. You have not focused on the way that various people, based...

Undergraduatepantheraleo - Jan 12, 2021 / Holt - Jan 12, 2021
"West Point caught my attention" - Transfer Essay Help

3 - This feels close to a question you'd get in a job interview. Advice I've always received was to answer...

UndergraduateADHopeful - Jan 9, 2021 / Callipyge - Jan 12, 2021
The jigsaw puzzle of my dreams. Motivation letter to Stipendium Hungaricum Scholarship Program

3 - Thank you so much @holt for your review, that's it's very helped me, and I would try my best...

UndergraduateMarinaJoan14 - Jan 9, 2021 / MarinaJoan14 - Jan 11, 2021
DESCRIBE UP TO FIVE ACTIVITIES THAT YOU HAVE PURSUED OR ACCOMPLISHMENT ACHIEVED

2 - The first activity is something that falls under the "Achievement" classification of the prompt. This shows your potential as...

Undergraduateschoola - Jan 9, 2021 / Holt - Jan 10, 2021
"My interest in Mechanical Engineering is linked to my childhood" -Texas A&M Transfer SOP

3 - Thank you so much! I will go ahead and remove the paragraph you mentioned and develop the idea of...

Undergraduateax2020 - Jan 9, 2021 / ax2020 - Jan 9, 2021
Lafayette College: What do you do? Why do you do it? // Watch movies to understand psychology.

3 - @Holt Thank you for your feedback. My main intention with the third paragraph was to demonstrate why I am...

UndergraduateRAJVEERSODHI - Jan 8, 2021 / RAJVEERSODHI - Jan 9, 2021
Help with content & word limit: eg of how the pandemic has changed your involvement in the community

2 - The essay does not involve itself with a community or group that you belong to. The charitable act that...

UndergraduateShrxti - Jan 8, 2021 / Holt - Jan 9, 2021
The Best Squash - UBC Sauder Questions About Handling a Problem

3 - this essay was very impressive and you made the reader roll up with you but i did not get...

UndergraduateAlaana - Jan 2, 2021 / A7zanany - Jan 8, 2021
OVERCOMING THE BEAUTY STANDARD - UNDERGRADUATE ADMISSIONS ESSAY

3 - @Holt Thank you for your advice!!!! i will be sure to make that change!!!...

Undergraduatehanasharabasy - Jan 7, 2021 / hanasharabasy - Jan 7, 2021
The Blue Crew & Counterpoint - Additional Essay to Wellesley College

3 - Thank you @Holt. What you said is true that I'm not good at imagining the future. Thank you a...

Undergraduatetoodii2102 - Jan 5, 2021 / toodii2102 - Jan 6, 2021
Giving "Hack" A New Name | Common Application Personal Essay [Prompt #4]

3 - Thank you so much for the feedback!...

UndergraduateBearByte - Jan 3, 2021 / BearByte - Jan 4, 2021
Write your Personal Profile for UBC application - how others describe me & something I'm proud of

2 - Delete the first paragraph. That is not a requirement in this statement. Use at least 2 different points of...

UndergraduateAx9730 - Jan 3, 2021 / Holt - Jan 3, 2021
My common app about being stuck on the mountains of Osaka, Japan and the analogy

2 - The essay itself covers a detailed discussion of your background and development as person. It does not really cover...

UndergraduateMaryam123 - Jan 2, 2021 / Holt - Jan 3, 2021
No More What-ifs. Commonapp Essay

2 - Neither prompt you have chosen applies to this essay. The focus of the essay is on your family alone....

Undergraduatehakuryuu - Jan 2, 2021 / Holt - Jan 2, 2021
Tell us about who you are. Include something you are proud of and why? - Graduation and tough times

2 - As this statement is based on your character when attending to different situations, avoid using a collective description for...

Undergraduatesimonp00 - Jan 2, 2021 / Holt - Jan 2, 2021
AIF Pandemic Information - Computer Science

2 - This is a good response to the question. However, you need to better explain why you believed that turning...

Undergraduateaylak77 - Jan 2, 2021 / Holt - Jan 2, 2021
The university application - writing about my personal qualities which describe who I am

5 - @xuanhieu2611 Maybe think about including a situation you encountered with family or friends that captures a unique perspective...

Undergraduatexuanhieu2611 - Dec 24, 2020 / aylak77 - Jan 2, 2021

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