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Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays

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Personal statement for HKUST - Chemical and Biology Engineering program

2 - Can you translate this to English? Since the application should be completed in English, it is best to...

UndergraduateTreeee - 2 days ago / Holt - 17 hrs ago
Common App: Gap Year Essay

2 - I am not sure about the prompt for your gap year essay. Normally, a gap year essay requests the...

Undergraduatetimetoshine - Nov 12, 2025 / Holt - Nov 13, 2025
Fordham essay on contributing to a community

2 - It will be very possible to discuss your advocacy for human dignity and your fight against injustice without referencing...

Undergraduateilovepenguins - Nov 8, 2025 / Holt - Nov 9, 2025
GLOCAL PROGRAMME - CREATIVE INDUSTRY POLICY AND ECOSYSTEM

3 - Hi Holt! I've revised my essay. Hope this answer your feedback :) ---- My academic and professional...

Undergraduateu_utmaut - Oct 6, 2025 / u_utmaut - Oct 28, 2025
Education as a force of change- UWC application essay

2 - You lost me from the very start of this essay. How does travel relate to ASL? Are you one...

Undergraduatealmosthalloween - Oct 25, 2025 / Holt - Oct 26, 2025
Conflicting personal values - essay for UWC

2 - The reviewer will not see this essay as one that is personal nor original. He will see this as...

Undergraduateplopkw - Oct 23, 2025 / Holt - Oct 24, 2025
"From the linoleum to the marble" - Personal Statement

2 - Kindly include the prompt that you are writing in response to next time so that I can give a...

Undergraduatelolgiancarlo - Oct 22, 2025 / Holt - Oct 23, 2025
GKS U 2026 SOP for Business administration + finance

2 - The essay is too creative in presentation. It focused too much on the telling of a story that it...

UndergraduateShubhay07 - Oct 14, 2025 / Holt - Oct 15, 2025
Nigeria and Economic Constraints - Statements of Purpose (S.O.P)

2 - You should not open the statement of purpose with a reference to the thoughts of someone else. The reviewer...

UndergraduateMystro_Dynamic - Oct 13, 2025 / Holt - Oct 14, 2025
Being Excluded in a project - Waterloo AIF Question #3 - Experience Reflection

2 - The reason why you were sidelined by the group in meetings should be clearly explained in the statement. You...

UndergraduatePancakes2 - Oct 13, 2025 / Holt - Oct 14, 2025
Starting a music club at my school - Waterloo AIF question #2 - Community Involvement

2 - This leadership statement is too self focused. There is a lack of teamwork, consideration of the needs of the...

UndergraduatePramodChavali - Oct 12, 2025 / Holt - Oct 12, 2025
My Passion for Music - Waterloo AIF question #1

2 - The passion aspect is a bit thin in this presentation. It started off on the wrong foot as well....

UndergraduatePramodChavali - Oct 12, 2025 / Holt - Oct 12, 2025
Undervalued at a hackathon - Waterloo AIF Question #3 - Experience Reflection

2 - While your story shows how you eventually recovered from being undervalued by your teammates, it took time for you...

UndergraduatePramodChavali - Oct 12, 2025 / Holt - Oct 12, 2025
Passion for Game Development - Waterloo AIF Question 4 - Goals for Waterloo

3 - Hi Holt, Thank you for your response, and sorry for the late reply, I thought I responded to...

UndergraduatePramodChavali - Oct 6, 2025 / PramodChavali - Oct 11, 2025
Data analytics - KUAS enrollment essay - Why KUAS ties in with my future goals

2 - The second paragraph does not justify what will make you a good candidate for a student slot at KUAS....

Undergraduateumohon - Oct 11, 2025 / Holt - Oct 11, 2025
The Sound of His Steps - Common App Essay

2 - Please do not ask me which aspects you should cut from this essay because it is a personal decision...

UndergraduateThienAnhLe - Oct 11, 2025 / Holt - Oct 11, 2025
NATIONAL TAIWAN UNIVERSITY AUTOBIOGRAPHY 'Ten fingers will all have different lengths'

2 - A personal statement should, in my opinion, not be more than 300 words in length. That is because the...

Undergraduatesnowblossoms - Oct 7, 2025 / Holt - Oct 8, 2025
Standing Behind, Seeing Beyond (COMMON APP PERSONAL STATEMENT)

2 - One thing that the applicants always make a mistake with when writing the common app essay is that they...

UndergraduateThienAnhLe - Oct 7, 2025 / Holt - Oct 8, 2025
My Relationship with Glasses - Common App Essay

3 - @Holt Thanks for the feedback! Just one question: When you say to totally skip the pre-k reference, do you...

Undergraduatemathauntie - Oct 5, 2025 / mathauntie - Oct 5, 2025
Before humans die - (GKS_U) 2026 Media essay

2 - The essay is too imaginative in approach when it should be more direct and informative. I understand that you...

Undergraduatehinuyenthihue111 - Oct 4, 2025 / Holt - Oct 5, 2025
curly hair main common app essay

2 - I am not sure what common app prompt you are responding to with this essay so I can give...

Undergraduateclaudiacorsini - Oct 3, 2025 / Holt - Oct 4, 2025
PERSONAL ESSAY - STUDENT EXCHANGE PROGRAM (Chemistry Department & Internship Opportunity)

2 - Your background is quite strong in terms of academics. I would like to see the same strengths or, even...

Undergraduaterelovikyl - Sep 9, 2025 / Holt - Sep 13, 2025
COMMON APP Personal Statement - Teachings From My Sister

2 - This is a very interesting and personal background story. However, The reviewer could believe that the essay is more...

UndergraduateScormbl - Aug 29, 2025 / Holt - Aug 30, 2025
PERSONAL STATEMENT GKS-U University Track Mechanical Engineering

2 - Kindly remove the Hangul characters for Phineas and Pherb. The essay must be written in either pure English or...

Undergraduateadel5067 - Aug 26, 2025 / Holt - Aug 27, 2025
PERSONAL STATEMENT - GKS-U TOUR MANAGEMENT

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for your feedback on my personal statement. It means a lot. I will...

Undergraduateweeathers - Aug 14, 2025 / weeathers - Aug 15, 2025
GKS-U PERSONAL STATEMENT (astronomy and space science)

2 - It is too early in the discussion for you to introduce this topic. You may state this later...

UndergraduateAndyNJ - Aug 10, 2025 / Holt - Aug 10, 2025
interspecies - university of chicago extended essay

2 - The first part relating to your grandfather and how he influenced your love of history is irrelevant to the...

Undergraduatearrralle - Aug 4, 2025 / Holt - Aug 10, 2025
Out-of-the-red - University of Chicago extended essay

2 - The essay seems to be taking several directions and focusing on the wrong person and events. If you want...

Undergraduatearrralle - Aug 4, 2025 / Holt - Aug 10, 2025
GKS-U Personal Statement for AI Major

2 - Develop this statement further. Include some of the activities that you led and participated in. What was that...

Undergraduatedivine_9 - Jul 19, 2025 / Holt - Jul 20, 2025
"The French Toast" - common app 7- Share an essay on any topic of your choice

2 - The essay needs more balance. You spent too much time discussing French Toast and the negative body image that...

Undergraduaterocky123c - Jul 14, 2025 / Holt - Jul 16, 2025
"Pathological liars" - application essay

2 - The reviewer will be confused by these 2 statements. A liar is different from a jerk. You...

UndergraduateKatiec123 - Jul 8, 2025 / Holt - Jul 9, 2025
My foundation - Language study plan before and after Gkd

5 - It is for a teacher's activity...

UndergraduateFaith y - Jun 12, 2025 / Valentina25 - Jun 14, 2025
Finding Balance: The Real Impact of Studying and Working at the Same Time

2 - This is a very concise presentation of a very popular topic. The insight is real and based on medical...

UndergraduateValentina25 - Jun 12, 2025 / Holt - Jun 13, 2025
'Treatable' - My struggles with OCD and growth - COMMON APP ESSAY

3 - I love your essay! It have that raw emotion and a 'you' element. It tells us about the person...

Undergraduateaalberton - Jun 8, 2025 / Anvita1910 - Jun 10, 2025
Computer engineering - SOP Statement of Purpose essay help

2 - A statement of purpose is the written interview that the university admissions committee members use to determine your fit...

UndergraduateKaizennk - May 27, 2025 / Holt - May 28, 2025
ECE or CE University of Washington Transfer Personal Statement

3 - @Holt This is my essay for ECE college admissions hopefully it addresses some of the weaknesses. Please start...

UndergraduateMissYam - Apr 1, 2025 / MissYam - Apr 4, 2025
personal statement- smart security UIC track

3 - Your composed text is decent, which inspired me to embark in some academic writing! ^^...

UndergraduateAnnabel - Mar 16, 2025 / Nguyendangquang - Mar 29, 2025
Personal Statement for Education and Technology MA University College London (UCL)

2 - Well, you certainly have the academic, professional, and volunteer requirements to be considered for this scholarship. However, these do...

UndergraduateHalidashb - Mar 5, 2025 / Holt - Mar 6, 2025
STATEMENT OF MOTIVATION AND EXPECTED ADMISSIONS METHOD ESSAY(WITHIN 300 WORDS) FOR USTH

3 - @asyozu Your statement needs more personal motivation and specific reasons for choosing USTH's Mechatronics Engineering Technology program (relevant experiences...

Undergraduateasyozu - Feb 23, 2025 / annhien66677 - Mar 1, 2025
Friendship: Is It Really THAT IMPORTANT? - UBC Personal Profile

2 - The essay does not come off as explaining why friendship is important to you. Instead, it reflects that communication...

UndergraduateEleana - Feb 15, 2025 / Holt - Feb 15, 2025
From Acting to Action: How Theater Shaped My Path to Management - UBC Personal Profile

3 - Hi Eleana, your essay seems a little off topic from the prompt. You begin your first paragraph with...

UndergraduateEleana - Feb 1, 2025 / clauana - Feb 11, 2025
My cultural identity - Temple University Personal Statement/ College essay

3 - That was a great essay from my point of view. You got the reviewer to smoothly understand your personal...

Undergraduaterintezar - Feb 8, 2025 / clauana - Feb 9, 2025
I am a 17-year-old girl trying to figure the world out as she goes - common app essay

2 - Are you by any chance writing about a topic of your own creation? That is the only reason I...

Undergraduatethelatecomer - Jan 31, 2025 / Holt - Jan 31, 2025
Epidemiology and politics - Summer science program application Highschool

2 - The response is very technical and professional. You have developed a good summary of the information required within a...

Undergraduateaneetsandhu - Jan 21, 2025 / Holt - Jan 22, 2025
Common App Essay about Life Challenges&Backpacking

2 - Backpacking does not have anything to do with the life challenges you faced. Neither does it provide the actual...

Undergraduatewcherau25 - Jan 9, 2025 / Holt - Jan 10, 2025
Determination and effort - Personal Statement Essay/ GKS-U scholarship

2 - The instructions for writing this essay indicate that you must use either full Hangul or full English for...

UndergraduateGadhalag - Jan 9, 2025 / Holt - Jan 10, 2025
My Family - What is important to you? And why? UBC Application

2 - Your response is unique in the sense that the importance of family to you is based upon a tragedy,...

UndergraduateHunchie - Jan 7, 2025 / Holt - Jan 7, 2025
A model of a city - Waterloo Computer Science Application - Question #3

2 - I guess one of the major questions that the reviewer will ask himself after reading this is, "Why did...

Undergraduatedanyal_asghar21 - Jan 7, 2025 / Holt - Jan 7, 2025
Computer Science - applying for ODYLP: Vietnam

6 - Computer science is not an acedemic subject. It is comprised of several difference acedemic subjects, mainly math and programming....

Undergraduatejohnydong - Jan 1, 2025 / danyal_asghar21 - Jan 7, 2025
volunteering at a summer school - Waterloo AIF - Question #2

3 - You have written a lot of background information, however if anything, this information is being against you, especially that...

Undergraduatexers - Jan 5, 2025 / danyal_asghar21 - Jan 7, 2025
Whole Foods Macaron (topic) for "group and its unofficial member" (UChicago Creative Prompt)

2 - I think that the essay can be further improved by looking into what created the batter? Representative of your...

Undergraduatety101807 - Jan 5, 2025 / Holt - Jan 6, 2025
The Head of Technology - Waterloo Computer Science Application - Question #2

3 - @danyal_asghar21 This is a very strong paragraph which highlights how u managed a leadership role effectively. however...

Undergraduatedanyal_asghar21 - Jan 4, 2025 / xers - Jan 5, 2025
A passion for computers - Waterloo Engineer Application - Question #1

2 - I am not sure about how a passion for computers will translate to your possible achievements as an Electrical...

Undergraduatexers - Jan 4, 2025 / Holt - Jan 5, 2025
"independent-minded" - UBC Personal Profile help

2 - The essay deviated from the actual focus. The reviewer does not need to know about your family traits in...

Undergraduatesab07 - Jan 4, 2025 / Holt - Jan 5, 2025
PlayTouchless Project - UBC Admission - Important Activity

2 - The requirement is for an activity that you have listed in the previous section of the requirements. I am...

Undergraduateayred_99 - Jan 3, 2025 / Holt - Jan 3, 2025
short fuse guy - ubc personal profile. who i am what/im proud of/how would people describe me

3 - It would be better if you could extend and clarify the character development to make a better profile...

Undergraduateghosthunter81734 - Dec 31, 2024 / Edukid2309 - Jan 2, 2025
Searching Beyond the Surface- Common App Essay

2 - Grace is not really relevant to the rest of the story so her inclusion at the beginning is...

Undergraduatealexmorales - Dec 31, 2024 / Holt - Jan 1, 2025
Academic and Giving back to the community activities - KAIST undergraduate

3 - @Holt Thankyou so much for the feedback. Seems like I got a lot to work on. Do you mind...

UndergraduateNoTeCh - Dec 30, 2024 / NoTeCh - Dec 31, 2024
Imagination and Design - Supplementary Application Essay - UOFT

2 - There is too much emphasis on the past in your essay. You have solidly established your background in design...

Undergraduatej2easy - Dec 29, 2024 / Holt - Dec 30, 2024
My final match - College Application Question

2 - The response that you have provided is good, but not aligned with the requirements of the prompt. A more...

Undergraduatedoomar321 - Dec 29, 2024 / Holt - Dec 29, 2024

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