Hey guys, I'm applying early, so I would really like some feedback on my common app essay.
1) I feel like it doesn't really fit into any of the preset prompts, so it'd be #6, the "Pick your own topic" one. Can it fit in any of the others?
2) Is it to negative? Do I focus on my weaknesses too much?
3) Just general feedback would be great! Thanks!
In Being a Banana: A Cultural Mishap
The language of my ancestors, my mother, father, and grandparents, is lost to me. With the brief exception of a few common phrases I learned when I was much younger, I can no more understand the tongue than the average American. There are times when I regret never having learned to speak Vietnamese - times of disassociation and cultural loss. How can I communicate with my great-grandmother, who doesn't speak a word of English? How do I truly appreciate my cousin's wedding when it's a traditional Vietnamese ceremony? However, despite my lack of this important quality, I am constantly surprised about what my heritage has to teach me.
Yes, this unfortunate quality of mine can sometimes be detracting; I am constantly getting befuddled questions demanding I explain why I can't speak my own language. But the traditions and culture of my parents will always be there, building structure into my life and purpose into my actions. Sometimes it manifests itself in the small thing - bowing to elders when greeting them, taking off shoes when entering a house - insignificant actions, really. More often it's in a big way - the drive to succeed, to work hard, and to make something of myself. My parents had to flee to America because their country was tearing itself apart; and it wasn't easy living as a foreigner in 1970's America. If they could leave their home and rebuild their lives from the ground up in a country where they could barely understand the language and had absolutely no social standing, what excuses could I possibly have for doing anything but my best?
I admit, I'm not Hercules; I haven't performed awe-inspiring or shocking feats. I'm not worldly; I have never gone on life changing trips to help people in third-world countries. I can't even speak two languages fluently. I am what some Asians call a "Banana" - yellow on the outside, white on the inside. I obviously lack in some areas, linguistic understanding of culture and vast amounts of life experience being no exception. But I can't help but be proud of where I come from. I don't believe in giving less than my best - to myself or to others. And who knows, it's never too late; maybe someday I'll finally learn how to speak Vietnamese.
1) I feel like it doesn't really fit into any of the preset prompts, so it'd be #6, the "Pick your own topic" one. Can it fit in any of the others?
2) Is it to negative? Do I focus on my weaknesses too much?
3) Just general feedback would be great! Thanks!
In Being a Banana: A Cultural Mishap
The language of my ancestors, my mother, father, and grandparents, is lost to me. With the brief exception of a few common phrases I learned when I was much younger, I can no more understand the tongue than the average American. There are times when I regret never having learned to speak Vietnamese - times of disassociation and cultural loss. How can I communicate with my great-grandmother, who doesn't speak a word of English? How do I truly appreciate my cousin's wedding when it's a traditional Vietnamese ceremony? However, despite my lack of this important quality, I am constantly surprised about what my heritage has to teach me.
Yes, this unfortunate quality of mine can sometimes be detracting; I am constantly getting befuddled questions demanding I explain why I can't speak my own language. But the traditions and culture of my parents will always be there, building structure into my life and purpose into my actions. Sometimes it manifests itself in the small thing - bowing to elders when greeting them, taking off shoes when entering a house - insignificant actions, really. More often it's in a big way - the drive to succeed, to work hard, and to make something of myself. My parents had to flee to America because their country was tearing itself apart; and it wasn't easy living as a foreigner in 1970's America. If they could leave their home and rebuild their lives from the ground up in a country where they could barely understand the language and had absolutely no social standing, what excuses could I possibly have for doing anything but my best?
I admit, I'm not Hercules; I haven't performed awe-inspiring or shocking feats. I'm not worldly; I have never gone on life changing trips to help people in third-world countries. I can't even speak two languages fluently. I am what some Asians call a "Banana" - yellow on the outside, white on the inside. I obviously lack in some areas, linguistic understanding of culture and vast amounts of life experience being no exception. But I can't help but be proud of where I come from. I don't believe in giving less than my best - to myself or to others. And who knows, it's never too late; maybe someday I'll finally learn how to speak Vietnamese.
