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My biggest obstacle to overcome was to accept my new surroundings; College admission essay



kim16164 1 / -  
Sep 14, 2014   #1
Throughout our lives, we are challenged with inconveniences as we are forced to reconcile with change. Whether the transition was wanted or inexorable, it intrudes into the comfort zone that some of us may take years to build. That imposition, however, causes us to modify our circumstances as we learn to live around it. When I moved to the U.S. from Korea, I lacked one of the salient necessities in life, communication. I was faced with frustration and perplexity as I struggled with a new language and environment, but I learned to overcome those obstacles to a completely different culture. [..]

JangGemini 8 / 49  
Sep 15, 2014   #2
Throughout our lives, we are challenged with inconveniences asthat we are forced to reconcile with change. Whether the transition was wanted or inexorable, it intrudes into the comfort zone that some of us may take years to build. That imposition, however, causes us to modify our circumstances as we learn to live around itand adapt ourselves to new circumstances .

My life-changing experience happened when I moved to the U.S. from Korea. That was the first time I realized that I lacked one of the most salient necessities in life: Communication. I was faced with frustration and perplexity as I struggled with a new language and environment.butHowever, I learned to overcome those obstacles to embrace thisa completely different culture.

Just a couple of months after moving to America, my parents decided to put me into school in the second grade. At the age when most children should be expressing their thoughts freely, I had a tough time trying to answer simple questions such as "How are you?" or "What is your favorite hobby?". Being afraid that I had misunderstood the actual meaning, I would stare at them in bewilderment. Although elementary school was supposed to be an imperative portion of childhood memories, loneliness and vexation took over the long hours of school. I was abashed and isolated myself/live aloof from the people who only wanted to be my friend. My only source of relief was coming home to my younger sister who was the only one I could relate with at the time. I did not accommodate to change very well and was reluctant to overcome that fear.

Apart from the drastic change in social life, I struggled academically as well. I remember failing my first spelling quiz which at the time I did not even know what it was. Reading and writing classes were dreadful for me, because I was unwilling to learn a different language when I could not even comprehend the complexity of my own. The education system and school itself in the U.S. was disparate from the one in Korea, which also took me time to get used to. I not only had to learn the objectives in my classes, but also how the school worked as well.

My biggest obstacle to overcome was not only my lack of knowledge in English, but also my reluctance to accept my new surroundings. (I think you have mentioned this part in previous paragraphs. It's good if you can specify how and why you refused to accept your new surroundings. I think it may emphasize and clarify the struggle you had) As I took ESL classes and summer school, I realized that I was not the only one struggling with that impediment. There were many other students who were able to empathize with the adversities that I have gonewas going through and seeing others coping with similar situations motivated me to persevere throughwith the apprehension. With confidence, I started to feel more ease at school and had a few close friends that I felt comfortable to be around with. I also began to catch up academically to the other classmates as my English improved significantly. The classes that were seemingly impossible became less daunting with my fresh mindset.

Being open to new ideas changed my perspective on how to approach intimidating circumstances. Undergoing such a drastic transition in my life, helped meI attained the flexibility to acclimate to modificationsand to be more open with new ideas . I was able to conform to the new lifestyle which eventually became a comfort to me. With this acquisition, I know that I will not be alarmed as I try to adjust to the new environment in college after my high school career. Although change can be rough at first, it is an inevitable factor in life that can be utilized as an advantage.

Hope that helped. I'm writing my personal statement also and I totally understand what you went through because I came to the US last year on a cultural exchange program. Although, I think my struggle was mild compared to yours since I prepared myself beforehand. Anyway, you used a wide vocabulary and it's a comprehensive essay. Please consult your teacher as well for better suggestion and feedback. Good luck with your admission!
niesaysi 16 / 281  
Sep 15, 2014   #3
Just a couple of months, after moving to America, my parents decided to put me into school in the second grade.
At the age when most children should be expressing their thoughts freely, I had a tough time trying to answer simple questions such as "How are you?" or "What is your favorite hobby?"

Being a fraid that I had misunderstood the actual meaning, I would stare at them in bewilderment.

Although elementary school was supposed to be an imperative portion of childhood memories, loneliness and vexation took over the long hours of school.

Complete the idea. It lacks a subject.

With confidence, I started to feel more at ease at school and had a few close friends that I felt comfortable around.


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