So this is my essay for Stanford. Could you give me some feedback and comments on both the content and the grammar please? Many Thanks!!!!!!
Lying on the grassland in the wild,enjoying the darkness around,I gazed the galaxy with awe,imagining one day we humans might establish an inter-galactic civilization no longer be bound by gravity.I do admit my ideas might be a little anthropocentric.I am a person profoundly intrigued by both natural sciences and humanities believing that the advancement in science can greatly benefit the entire human race,pushing our civilization into a whole new level.However,advancing a civilization not only requires efforts of scientists,but also an society that supports the cause for science.Unluckily,I am from a nation where people are vehement defenders of Chinese Herbal Medicine and are generally against
modern medicine.When facing diseases,people would seek help from herbs which mostly works as placebo.
As a firm advocacy of modern medicine myself,seeking to promote reason,I join the Songshuhui.net,a campaign of scientific volunteers trying to make science more accessible to the general public.Due to my sufficiency in English and my background in Science,I was assigned to the translating division.
At first,I thought this was an easy task,what I have to do is read magazines like Scientific American,then write what I have read in Chinese.But the first article I submitted was disastrous.Negative feedback flooded my Gmail,complaining about my lame work.Some even said it was worse than Google's.As I read the translation again,I realized how terrible it was.Some of it didn't make any sense.So I turned to a more structured approach,instead of directly translating sentences I first elicit an outline of the passage. Then I borrowed some work of those famous translators for me to absorb.I was still doing translating when I was reading,but the quality is not improving. For a while I was really frustrated.However,I kept posting my translation online.One day,something amazing happened! I finally received acclaim for my work! The swarm of criticisms is disappearing.
As I reflect on this experience I can see how translating and mastering two diverse languages has shaped my intellectual development and the process of learning,demonstrates my intellectual vitality.
Lying on the grassland in the wild,enjoying the darkness around,I gazed the galaxy with awe,imagining one day we humans might establish an inter-galactic civilization no longer be bound by gravity.I do admit my ideas might be a little anthropocentric.I am a person profoundly intrigued by both natural sciences and humanities believing that the advancement in science can greatly benefit the entire human race,pushing our civilization into a whole new level.However,advancing a civilization not only requires efforts of scientists,but also an society that supports the cause for science.Unluckily,I am from a nation where people are vehement defenders of Chinese Herbal Medicine and are generally against
modern medicine.When facing diseases,people would seek help from herbs which mostly works as placebo.
As a firm advocacy of modern medicine myself,seeking to promote reason,I join the Songshuhui.net,a campaign of scientific volunteers trying to make science more accessible to the general public.Due to my sufficiency in English and my background in Science,I was assigned to the translating division.
At first,I thought this was an easy task,what I have to do is read magazines like Scientific American,then write what I have read in Chinese.But the first article I submitted was disastrous.Negative feedback flooded my Gmail,complaining about my lame work.Some even said it was worse than Google's.As I read the translation again,I realized how terrible it was.Some of it didn't make any sense.So I turned to a more structured approach,instead of directly translating sentences I first elicit an outline of the passage. Then I borrowed some work of those famous translators for me to absorb.I was still doing translating when I was reading,but the quality is not improving. For a while I was really frustrated.However,I kept posting my translation online.One day,something amazing happened! I finally received acclaim for my work! The swarm of criticisms is disappearing.
As I reflect on this experience I can see how translating and mastering two diverse languages has shaped my intellectual development and the process of learning,demonstrates my intellectual vitality.