Q:Share an experience from your high school years through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences.
Coming to the USA was a cultural shock to me. Everything from the food, the school system, the life style were totally different to me. I did not find it hard for me to adapt myself to the American culture but on the other hand I did not let my new adaptation change me totally because I also shared my different and unique culture with the people that I came in contact with. During the time that I spent in the ESL program, I met many students with different background. My ESL class was composed of all Hispanic students with different country of origin. However I found out that most of them did not know about each other's culture. I also met people that came from countries that I was not aware of. Sometimes I felt like was in some type of worldwide event because I was surrounded by smart, bilingual, multiracial people that I think that I would have never met if I had not came to the USA. I see myself as being flexible but not breakable because I was able to adapt myself to a new culture by learning from theirs and by also transmitting my own.
this is for UGA
it has to be 200 words
When I first stepped into US, it was all an alien environment. Food to education, lifestyle to recreation; all were different from my homeland [your country name].
Though I easily mingled in the environment; I never let my unique culture and background lost because that was my real identity.
You may want to reconsider your essay.
This world introduced to me the variation of the world which otherwise I could probably never know....
The theme is good but you have to give another try to put your words again in clear and concise manner.
I think you have a great story to tell, but you need to develop it much more. Here is some basic editorial advice. At the end, I will say more about the development of your story.
Coming to the USA was a cultural shock to me.
Give more information here. Where did you move from? How old were you when you moved? Why did you move?
Everything from the food, the school system, the life style were totally different to me. I did not find it hard for me to adapt myself to the American culture.
Give a specific example of the difference to make this statement less broad. Then use that same example to explain how you adapted.
butO n the other hand, I did not let my new adaptationsituation change me totallycompletely . because I also shared my different and unique culture with the people that I came in contact with. During the time that I spent in the ESL program, I met many students with different background.
You want to reference the ESL classes at the beginning somewhere. The introduction at this point is a bit awkward. Maybe you can talk about the change in school and taking classes in English above.
My ESL class was composedcomprised of all Hispanic students withfrom different countrycountries of origin. However I found out that most of them did not know about each other'sothers culture. I also met people that came from countries that I was not aware of. Sometimes I felt like was in some type of worldwide event because I was surrounded by smart, bilingual, multiracial people that I think that I would have never met if I had not came to the USA. I see myself as beingam flexible but not breakable because I was able to adapt myself to a new culture by learning from theirsit and by also transmittingsharing my own.
When you talk about the different countries of origin above, list a few examples. FOR EXAMPLE: "My ESL class was comprised of Hispanic students from different countries like Chile, Ecuador, the Dominican Republic, Mexico, and Puerto Rico. Some of my classmates were from countries I was not aware of like Belarus and Ghana."
Atlanta33,
The major thing that is lacking from your story is the details of what you learned and how your experience changed you. You should give more details and be more personal. This will help you stand out to the selections committee. Here are some questions to think about as you revise your essay. I already listed some within the edits above.
1. Where did you move from?
2. How old were you when you moved? Who moved with you?
3. Why did you move?
4. When you mention the differences you saw: food, school system, life style, you should highlight one. I think talking about school makes the most sense to your overall essay. So... What were the major differences between school in the US and your home country? How did you FEEL when you first went to school (scared, intimidated, excited, nervous)?
5. What was the major challenge that you faced in school? Was it the language change? Was the cultural acclimation?
6. It seems that your ESL classmates were important to you. How did you start to learn and support each other? Be specific - give a story or example of a moment when you felt comfortable or acclimated to your new environment.
7. How will your experiences help you in college? What can you bring to college from this experience? What will you be able to teach your college classmates? I think you hit on these questions when you talk about flexibility so use that to guide further development of the conclusion.
Good luck!