"Finding Nemo among the stars" - Cornell supplement. Why College of arts and sciences

Here's my Cornell supplement response. Let me know what you guys have to say about it. :)
Its about 510 words. (max. limit of 500)

Prompt:
College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

Response:

Could I find a fish among the stars? If I ask my teachers this question they would probably wish I return to kindergarten.
My mother bought me my first encyclopedia when I was 9 called "The Deep Blue World". I loved it. It taught me so much about fishes; what they ate, where they lived and how they looked.

Growing up, my interest for the marine world started becoming more profound. Watching Animal Planet and Discovery taught me a lot. However, my fascination was not just limited to the marine world anymore. I moved outside the water; started to find a liking towards the land, the mountains and the plains. My mind probed deeper still. Literally. From the synchronized movements of schools of fish in the Pacific and the study of the life cycle of cicadas to the newfound knowledge about the cell structure and cellular biology, I have observed my interest in biology evolve; both in terms of length and breadth. Before I knew, I was head over heels with Biology.

However, this wasn't the only realm that thrilled me. I had also found a place to thrive among the stars. Watching the night sky from the rustic backdrop of my father's village, I was spellbound to see the twinkling and ethereal girdle of pearl-like dots in the deep blue sky. Yes, it was the Milky Way galaxy. The Andromeda Galaxy, the Orion and the Pegasus constellations; the stories of the Big Bang confirmation and the Panspermia hypothesis and the Drake Equation; all drive my intellectual curiosity as much as the little molecules of ATP, which power the cellular mechanism, do.

Eventually, the sky met the ocean and my interests merged; which I probably owe credit to the innumerable sci-fi movies I watched during summers.
Could there be life on other planets? If yes, can creatures of other planets have a completely non-carbon based chemistry? Learning about scientists finding sulfur based bacteria thriving near underwater thermal vents skyrocket my mind to a new plane. These are a few questions that pose as challenges to my mind albeit; they cannot be solved due to my own insufficient knowledge.

Probably, this is why I wish Cornell would be the perfect platform for me to realize my passions and cultivate them while answering the questions of my unlearned mind. Cornell's departments of Molecular Biology and Genetics, and Astronomy are two portals through which I can satiate my desire to know more. At Cornell, I wish to combine the two fields in the best way possible.

There is nothing better than earning an education that teaches you to think on your feet, inspire creativity and implore deeper understanding. With Liberal Arts essence to my learning, I am sure that I shall be ready for any future endeavor after the College of Arts and Sciences.

At Cornell I will get closer to finding Nemo among the stars; or an insect or a bacterium whatever it may be, and continue to dream of meeting an E.T.

Thanks for reading! :)

Hello,
your essay is really good. The combination of your academic interests is kind of strange, but you managed to relate them in a really great way. Besides I believe your title is excellent, it makes you want to read this essay

if you have a chance, please check my essay, cornell engineering essay- enviromental love.

Thanks for reading mine!

Could I find a fish among the stars? My teachers would think I was delirious if I asked them this question.
My mother bought me my first encyclopedia when I was nine called The Deep Blue World (UNDERLINE, not Quotes).I loved it. It taught me so much about fishes; what they ate, where they lived and how they looked.From what they ate to where they lived to how they looked; the encyclopedia taught me so much about fish and began my passion for biology.

As I grew, I developed a deepening interest for the marine world. Watching Animal Planet and Discovery taught me a lot cultivated my repertoire of marine facts. Moreover , my fascination was not just limited to the marine world anymore. I moved beyond the water; started to become interested in the land, the mountains and the plains. My mind probed farther still. Literally. (too much) From the synchronized movements of schools of fish in the Pacific and the study of the life cycle of cicadas to the newfound knowledge about the cell structure and cellular biology, I have observed my interest in biology evolved; both in terms of length and breadth . Before I knew it, no other subject filled me with as much ardor as Biology could .

However, this wasn't the only realm that thrilled me. I had also found a place to thrive among the stars. Watching the night sky from the rustic backdrop of my father's village, I was spellbound to see the twinkling and ethereal girdlecollection (girdle is really strange word choice) of pearl-like dots in the deep blue sky. Yes,In the stars was the stories of the Milky Way galaxy. The Andromeda Galaxy, the Orion and the Pegasus constellations; the of the Big Bang confirmation, the Panspermia hypothesis and the Drake Equation. Each drove my intellectual curiosity as much as the little molecules of ATP, which power cellular mechanisms.

Eventually, the sky met the ocean and my interests merged; which I probably owe credit to the innumerable sci-fi movies I watched during summers.
Could there be life on other planets? If the answer is yes, could creatures of other planets have a completely non-carbon based chemistry? Learning about scientists finding sulfur based bacteria thriving near underwater thermal vents skyrocketed my mind to a new plane. These are a few questions that pose as challenges to my mind albeit ; but, they cannot be solved without continuing my education .

Probably, this is why I wish Cornell would be the perfect platform for me to realize my passions and cultivate them while answering the questions of my unlearned mind. Cornell's departments of Molecular Biology and Genetics, and Astronomy are two portals through which I can begin my desire to learn . At Cornell, I wish to combine the two fields to the furthest extent of my capabilities .

There is nothing better than earning an education that teaches you to think on your feet, inspire creativity and demand deeper understanding. With a Liberal Arts essence to my learning, I am sure that I will be ready for any future endeavor after the College of Arts and Sciences.

At Cornell I will get closer to finding Nemo among the stars; or an insect or a bacterium, whatever it may be, and continue to dream of meeting another E.T.

Hopefully that helps! I think you might want to spend a bit more time on the essay making it flow better. It kind of seems rushed, so working on that might be a good idea! Good Luck!