Any help would be GREATLY appreciated! I'm doing this VERYY last minute, and I've completely changed my essay topic. I'm much more confident in this essay, but I need some outside opinions on content & grammar. What do you think?
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Prompt: Tell us about an idea or experience that you find intellectually engaging
"Marisa, you do too much. You should think about dropping mock trial. You really don't need it anyways." After I gave my mother the look that said, "Are you out of your mind?" she never brought up that suggestion again. While I may not need mock trial as an addition to my transcript, I need the feelings of exhilaration and accomplishment I get at every meeting and every trial. Those "searching-for-the-answer, time's-running-out, stomach-in-your-throat" feelings are what make mock trial the most intellectually engaging and mentally trying activity in which I participate. Each October I hungrily anticipate the arrival of the book that will become my bible for the next few months: the mock trial case book. Armed with pencils, pens, and four brightly colored highlighters, I dig through the lines of each witness statement and piece of evidence, hunting for a case strategy and a way to use each testimony to my advantage. As an attorney for two consecutive years, I push my mind to its limit as I look at the case from every possible angle, anticipating what the other side will try to prove, and working to address every existing gap and inconsistency. The type of thinking I do for mock trial is unlike any that I experience in my classes. During meetings and the time I spend poring over the case on my own, I think critically from every point of view, working to immunize our witnesses against all possible attacks. During the trials, I think under intense pressure, knowing that the decisions I make could affect my entire team, and that one hole could break our case and stem our chance of winning. Mock trial is a puzzle. My teammates and I are the players, trying out every combination of ambiguous background pieces, and ultimately creating the resulting picture.
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Prompt: Tell us about an idea or experience that you find intellectually engaging
"Marisa, you do too much. You should think about dropping mock trial. You really don't need it anyways." After I gave my mother the look that said, "Are you out of your mind?" she never brought up that suggestion again. While I may not need mock trial as an addition to my transcript, I need the feelings of exhilaration and accomplishment I get at every meeting and every trial. Those "searching-for-the-answer, time's-running-out, stomach-in-your-throat" feelings are what make mock trial the most intellectually engaging and mentally trying activity in which I participate. Each October I hungrily anticipate the arrival of the book that will become my bible for the next few months: the mock trial case book. Armed with pencils, pens, and four brightly colored highlighters, I dig through the lines of each witness statement and piece of evidence, hunting for a case strategy and a way to use each testimony to my advantage. As an attorney for two consecutive years, I push my mind to its limit as I look at the case from every possible angle, anticipating what the other side will try to prove, and working to address every existing gap and inconsistency. The type of thinking I do for mock trial is unlike any that I experience in my classes. During meetings and the time I spend poring over the case on my own, I think critically from every point of view, working to immunize our witnesses against all possible attacks. During the trials, I think under intense pressure, knowing that the decisions I make could affect my entire team, and that one hole could break our case and stem our chance of winning. Mock trial is a puzzle. My teammates and I are the players, trying out every combination of ambiguous background pieces, and ultimately creating the resulting picture.
