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"Knowledge is the food of the soul." - my UF admissions



bruffin1010 1 / -  
Oct 22, 2012   #1
The world's most influential philosopher, Plato, once said, "Knowledge is the food of the soul." I believe that learning is the most important part of a person's early life, and going without knowledge is like starving your soul. Success in life is based around a person's ability and desire to learn, and those who discover the importance of knowledge early on in life are going to be better off in the future than those who don't.

As a child, my education was the last thing on my mind. Unknowingly, I was ignoring the most crucial part of a child's experiences. More recently I started to pay attention and acquire knowledge, and in doing so I discovered one of the best parts of being young. Putting effort into learning not only helps a person gain knowledge, it also teaches that person many other characteristics that are crucial to becoming successful in life. Through learning we become more responsible, confident, and trustworthy. We also develop a better sense of ourselves and our place in the world.

One day during my sophomore year, my guidance councilor called me down to his office. Students are required to see a councilor at the end of every semester, so being called down at this time was completely normal. I had recently started to apply myself more to what I was learning in school, and I knew I had been doing well recently, so I wasn't worried. When I got to my councilor's office, he took a look at my recent grades and told me that if I could keep up the GPA I got last semester, I might be able to make it into a quality college like UF. Hearing him tell me that I might make it into the school I had wanted to get into ever since I had thought about colleges fueled my desire for knowledge and inspired me to do well.

After that day, I started to focus mainly on school work and learning. I was determined to get my GPA to a number I was confident I would be able to get into UF with, or at least to a number I felt good about. I started feeling good about how I was doing in school instead of just wasting time, and I found that I had more self-confidence and a greater sense of self-worth. My GPA has been rising greatly ever since, and I feel like it only would've risen if I realized I could have done well in more difficult classes.

Now that I'm nearing the end of my high school career, I know that my learning is far from over. I'm going to need to learn a lot more before I'm able to achieve my goals in life, one of them being graduating from UF. I want to be a part of UF because I know it's one of the best colleges in the country to prepare me with the knowledge and skill set I'll need in the real world.

ajdue 2 / 8  
Oct 22, 2012   #2
You have good start but you use too many "to be" verbs and need to work on your word choice.
Good Luck!


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