Hi guys! This is my common app essay so far. It's not complete but I would like some feedback on it. Like, how am I doing so far? Does my essay fit the prompt? What can I do to change it? Thank You!
Prompt: Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
I have grown up with pictures and shapes. Ever since I was a little girl, still barely able to read, my mom would set me up on her lap and read children's picture books for me. She would point to each picture, trace each line and tell me which shapes made the pictures up. Mesmerized by the tracing of her finger, I would squint and concentrate my eyes to catch every movement that her finger made and would listen for the name of the shape. If I missed anything, I would beg her to repeat the page over and over again, until I had the name and figure of the shape in graved in my mind. As I entered the second grade, my memorization of the shapes stuck with me. I learned newer, complex shapes like hexagons and decagons and my knowledge of shapes increased to the point where my old picture books I had at home could no longer satisfy my need for shapes. Instead, I viewed the world as my new, limitless picture book and read each building, house and truck as rectangles, squares with triangles and rectangles with circles on the bottom. If I could, I would go up to each object and follow the tracing method that my mom did when I was younger. I'd take my finger and trace along the outlines of the object and figure out what kind of shapes made it up. At school, during recess, other kids would say playing dodge ball, but I would say playing spheres. While other kids saw a red wagon, I would break the wagon down in my mind into a rectangle and two circles. I was the only one that saw these "pictures" broken down into shapes, where as everyone else saw it as a whole.
Now, that I am a senior in high school, I still see things in the same way.
Prompt: Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
I have grown up with pictures and shapes. Ever since I was a little girl, still barely able to read, my mom would set me up on her lap and read children's picture books for me. She would point to each picture, trace each line and tell me which shapes made the pictures up. Mesmerized by the tracing of her finger, I would squint and concentrate my eyes to catch every movement that her finger made and would listen for the name of the shape. If I missed anything, I would beg her to repeat the page over and over again, until I had the name and figure of the shape in graved in my mind. As I entered the second grade, my memorization of the shapes stuck with me. I learned newer, complex shapes like hexagons and decagons and my knowledge of shapes increased to the point where my old picture books I had at home could no longer satisfy my need for shapes. Instead, I viewed the world as my new, limitless picture book and read each building, house and truck as rectangles, squares with triangles and rectangles with circles on the bottom. If I could, I would go up to each object and follow the tracing method that my mom did when I was younger. I'd take my finger and trace along the outlines of the object and figure out what kind of shapes made it up. At school, during recess, other kids would say playing dodge ball, but I would say playing spheres. While other kids saw a red wagon, I would break the wagon down in my mind into a rectangle and two circles. I was the only one that saw these "pictures" broken down into shapes, where as everyone else saw it as a whole.
Now, that I am a senior in high school, I still see things in the same way.
