'Love for charity work' - Rice - Why apply to your school?

With the understanding that the choice of academic school you indicated is not binding, explain why you are applying to that particular school of study.

I love charity work. I love to raise money and awareness for different causes. Growing up attending Tzu-Chi Chinese School, an international humanitarian organization, helping the needy has always been a big part of my life. Ever since 9th grade I've been buying and selling electronics online and local to not only make allowance for myself but also to donate a portion to charities such as Red Cross and my personal favorite Love146. A year ago I started a clothing company with my friend to raise money for Love146, a charity against child sex trafficking, and I've been loving charity work ever since. I now donate to more charities such as Invisible Children and Child's Play.

I want to become a businessman that cares for and donates to the less fortunate and majoring in Economics at Rice's School of Social Sciences would be a great foundation. Rice's Economics Department is brilliant and contains a myriad of courses that I am interested in such as World Economic and Social Development as well as Managerial Economics. Rice is the only University that I am applying to that has a class on social development which is very important to me as I am hoping to learn more about how business can affect social causes. The Economics Department also has an Independent Study Course which I would love to be a part of as being able to customize my education to include specific research on how business benefits charities is not possible elsewhere. The Economics Department is one of the largest in Rice but it also has small class sizes which means that I will have more individual attention and a better education overall. Being able to learn directly from Professors Anna Bogomolnaia and Simon Grant would give me a clear advantage as they can work with me one-on-one to help me achieve my philanthropic goals. I want to understand how economics can benefit society and Rice's School of Social Sciences has all the classes and top notch professors I need.

Thanks for reading!

I've been buying and selling electronics online and locallyto not only make allowance for myself but alsoin order to donate a portion to charities such as Red Cross and, my personal favorite, Love146.

Focus on the humanitarian aspect of your good works (;

Also, you end the 1st paragraph kind of abuptly/there's no transition into the 2nd paragraph. Add a sentence that shows the connection between your philanthropy and wanting to become a selfless businessman.

Good job mentioning courses; it shows you're interested in attending the school. But don't name-drop professors unless it actually adds to the essay!

I love your topic, and overall this is really well-written (:

I would appreciate it if you could critique my essay as well...thanks!