A Personality in Phases - Colorado College Supplement Essay

Hello, this is the Colorado College supplement essay for prospective transfer students. I am attempting to create an essay that will standout in the masses, so some risky measures were taken. If any of these seem to radical please let me know. Any and all criticism or comments are more than welcome, thank you for reading!

Prompt: How did you learn about Colorado College and why do you wish to attend?
"I'll tell you what your problem is - you go through phases!" Sarah declares, drawing eyes of neighboring customers at the café. "...if only school worked like that, you'd be happy as a clam," my musicianship classmate continues with a twinge of sarcasm.

I chuckle to myself, if only...I think. Through thick cigarette smoke and barking Italian waiters, my thoughts begin to wonder...but, what if it did exist?

"Too bad it doesn't exist," Sarah snaps with a laugh, "you're just interested in too much stuff!" She was never known to have good council. Regardless of her unfavorable opinion, my mind cannot help but entertain the ideas she aroused. A place to learn where my easily captivated spirit can thrive - sounds like my type of adventure.

This remained an idealization until I came upon a unique group of people.

The evening is stifling hot, sweat rolling down backs and sleeves rolled high. The hum of conversation fills the homey apartment. I know no one at the event, save my friend who fervently convinced me to tag along - a Colorado College sophomore. However, despite my foreignness, I have taken an immediate liking to the crowd, and them to me. And as the festivities came to a close, after discussions of international politics, an examination of 21st century feminism, and squabbles over musical intentions of Mozart - I was confident I finally discovered the school for me.

I stumbled upon Colorado College not through a website, a traveling fair, or unrelenting mail, but through its people, becoming my prime reason to attend.

For, reflected in the Colorado College community are principles I strive to embody. Leadership, creativity, inquisitiveness, all qualities highly valued, however rare to find in modern institutions. Many boast robust student bodies, yet hide behind fronts of astronomical standardized test scores or soaring grade point averages, simultaneously stifling the ambitions of rising leaders, discouraging imagination's ingenuity, and subduing the inherent nature of human curiosity. "Book smarts," is the name of the game now, a game denounced by Brazilian educator and philosopher, Paulo Freire, as "Banking Education" - arguing it represses the very individualism secondary education vaunts to produce. A philosophy neither I, nor the community of Colorado College endorses.

I am more than a number on paper. Therefore, I chose casting aside superfluous multiple-choice bubbles, in favor of genuine learning. Not by depositing knowledge tokens for regurgitation, but through the real-world at Colorado College.

Education stretches farther than classrooms; it is omnipresent, every experience yielding insight, insight equating to more than six figure jobs. It is a life adventure, providing maturity, self-discovery, and identity, aspects integral to the human experience. There is no textbook teaching this. It must come from immersion, opening every receptor to learning; no matter when, no matter where. Colorado College's Block Plan represents this method. An academic plan that it not only scholarly, but enriching.

Through an accelerated learning pace, extreme trials are introduced, mandating time management, proper study habits and quick comprehension. At the same time, it fosters stimulating, exciting, and thought-provoking encounters, leaving more than an echo of knowledge, but a permanent footprint.

In the approach, class conversations are more than rehearsals for a test. When discussing a topic, a class takes to the world stage. Limitless conversation provided by the Block Plan permits each perspective to be heard, and every issue examined. Thus, it creates a sophisticated and mature understanding, one capable of playing an equal role alongside leaders of today.

Finally, by limiting professors to a single class, and a teacher-student ratio of ten to one, the Block Plan facilitates student geared learning. As opposed to standard cattle call classes, only with the economic welfare of an institution in mind. Even more importantly, is the bond of teacher and student the Block Plan infuses. A dynamic relationship can be the key to discovering passions, and developing mentors, and creating lifelong friendships.

It is a learning escapade, to the backdrop of the Rocky Mountains - a setting catering to my daring and venturesome instincts. The need to explore and discover is of my core, an unquenchable desire to be bold and adventurous, and Colorado College offers opportunities fueling this drive. Whether it is countless study abroad opportunities, classes on the Baca campus, or ascending Pikes Peak on Block Break, Colorado College is where my ambitious spirit will flourish, regardless of if in the classroom, or on the trail.

As I left the lively apartment onto the dimly lit city streets, my imagination ran wild with what I uncovered. I found myself recalling Sarah's statement long ago at the café. She was wrong - I thought, there is a place for my easily captivated nature to prosper. My heart was bursting with pride. At that moment, I wished to climb the highest rooftop and proclaim to the world: "I am passion, I am inspiration, and I am Colorado College!"

Erikd
first of all, I really like your essay, and I do think it will stand out in the masses
however while the first part (up until when you discovered it) was real entertaining, I felt the rest was too long, and that you were mentioning unnecesary stuff. Because although it shows that you really did your research, and that you know a bunch about them, I don't think you really need to tell them that much about themselves (since they already know- I think they would prefer to learn more about you). So if you wrote it that long because there is a certain lenght you have to comply with, I would consider saying more about yourself, and if there is no necessary lengh, I would just reduce the second part

good luck!

Hi! Thank you for the response - I've changed a few things, I'd love any advice

How did you learn about Colorado College and why do you wish to attend?

It is a stifling hot Friday evening, sweat rolling down backs and sleeves rolled high. The homey apartment carries hums of conversations through its narrow corridors. I sit atop the windowsill, surrounded by strangers in a cordially lit room. For the past hour or so, we have submerged ourselves in conversation, debating everything from Foucault's social theories to clean energy solutions. Whirling around us is an intoxicating aura, imbued with an empowering passion, capable of convincing anyone who dares enter, that they can change the world.

I stumbled upon Colorado College not through a website, or unrelenting mail, but through such people, becoming my prime reason to attend.

For, at Colorado College, the community is more than a collection of superfluous numbers inked on paper. These individuals cannot be categorized, commoditized, or synthesized by a standardized test score, their character is too diverse and their intellect too vast. Rather, this unique community is an alliance of free thinkers, always prepared to ask the tough questions, think out of the box, and defy the impossible. It is enveloped by an atmosphere of inspiration, fostering the ambitions of rising leaders, the ingenuity of imagination, and the curiosity of exploration. Each individual carries an inherent thrill and enthusiasm for learning, the same zeal found in my heart. This is why I wish to attend; I desire to be involved in this intellectual society. Moreover, I feel my distinct perspective of the world can be a valuable contribution to the community of Colorado College, assisting the ambitious minds yearning to leave a beneficial impact on our planet.

Furthermore, I believe education stretches farther than classrooms; it is omnipresent, every experience yielding insight, insight equating to more than a paycheck. It can be a life adventure, providing maturity, self-discovery, and identity, aspects integral to the human experience. There is no textbook teaching this. It must come from immersion, opening every receptor to learning; no matter when, no matter where. Colorado College's Block Plan represents this philosophy, an academic formula which is not only scholarly, but enriching.

I welcome the Block Plan's extreme challenges. Through its accelerated learning pace, it mandates time management, proper study habits and quick comprehension, all aspects vital to growth. At the same time, it stimulates exciting, and thought-provoking encounters, leaving more than an echo of knowledge, but a permanent footprint.

In this approach, class conversations are more than rehearsals for a test. When discussing a topic, a class takes to the world stage. Limitless conversation provided by the Block Plan permits each viewpoint to be heard, and every issue examined. Thus, it creates a sophisticated and mature understanding, one capable of playing an equal role alongside leaders of today.

Additionally, by limiting professors to a single class, and a teacher-student ratio of ten to one, the Block Plan facilitates student geared learning, and a bond between teacher and student. This dynamic relationship can be the key to discovering passions, developing mentors, and creating lifelong friendships.

These concepts, in partnership with distinguished areas of study at Colorado College, render the institution extremely attractive. Specifically, two departments greatly interest me, political science and music. Musically, I look to Colorado College because of its emphasis on the analytical and theoretical realms. After an extensive background of performing compositions, I wish to create my own, and the department's compositional prospects intrigue me. Specifically, I am fascinated with Judaic composition, for it is of my culture, and I would cherish the opportunity to study under Professor Ben-Amots, one of the leading Jewish composers of the time.

Politics runs in my veins, years of a successful career as a policy debater and my own avid activism have crafted a burning passion. At Colorado College, the political science department understands that to truly study a political system, a holistic approach must be taken, covering everything from religion, to economics, to morality. This is because political science is deeper than crunching campaign numbers or waxing poetic jargon; it is about comprehending discourses shaping our society, opening a dialog of the people, for the people, and the relationship of our political identity to others. The latter particularly interests me, and the department's investigative approach to international relations caters to my inquisitive nature. Additionally, the emphasis on independent study and experimental learning opens a door for a multitude of questions and ideas I wish to explore.

It is a learning escapade, to the backdrop of the Rocky Mountains - a setting tailored to my daring and venturesome instincts. The need to explore and discover is of my core, an unquenchable desire to be bold and adventurous, and Colorado College offers divergent opportunities fueling this drive. Whether it is countless study abroad programs, classes on the Baca campus, or ascending Pikes Peak on Block Break, Colorado College is where my ambitious spirit will flourish, regardless of if in the classroom, on the trail, or in an unexpected conversation between strangers, on a stifling hot Friday night.