Our plan to eliminate the stigma of mental illness - Princeton Supplement Essay

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences that was particularly meaningful to you. (About 150 words)
The statistic is alarming. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, "one in four adults experience a mental illness in a given year." Perturbed about this new-found realization, Seneca AP Psych students devised a plan. We went to our teacher, Mr. Kennevan, and we proposed the formation of a new extracurricular--Psychology Club. Our objective: emphasize the importance of happiness and properly dealing with mental illness. We believe stigma of mental illness has become a crucial barrier to treating and understanding it. So we formulated a plan to gain support to eliminate the stigma.

We decided upon a Glow Run with a theme of "Shine a Light in the Dark" to raise awareness and money, and to spread awareness and provide resources to help those affected by mental illness. We marked out an approximate 5k around our school which ended in a tunnel of lights at the finish line. Within our stadium, we revamped classic games such as KanJam, corn-hole, and ring toss.This kind of activity is a perfect example of the efforts that can be made to reduce the stigma. The Seneca Family successfully raised $1,500 to donate to a local chapter of NAMI, the largest grassroots mental health organization dedicated to building better lives for the millions of Americans affected by mental illness. As newly elected vice-president, I can say we have big plans for this year and I could not be more proud how far this club has come.

Hey..
I wanna say that ur essay is a good one. I have been writing the same one too. Ur essay can show ur activity really well but in my opinion, what if u add why it's significant to you? ? May be one or two sentence? like you love to help others or u get valuable experience or..whatever. .I think it will make your essay perfect. .what you think? ?:)

Steven, if you revise the essay to instead concentrate on a personal extra curricular activity instead of a group activity, then your essay will be able to better explain a personal reason for your involvement in the project. It is important that you show your personal actions regarding your chosen topic because the essay prompt is looking for your hands on approach to the topic and the solution you have tried to implement for it.

While this may be an extra curricular activity that you participated in, since the only outcome was that your group raised funds for the cause does not really resonate with the reviewer. We are looking for a possible long term "participatory solution" to the problem of the "stigma" created by mental illness. So having something more relevant such as seminars, consultations, and other long term activities geared towards the education of people regarding the topic would have been more meaningful, specially if you personally participated in it, rather than simply raising funds for the cause that you have no control over.