hey guys. this is my common app application essay. Please give me any feedback or advice. Please be harsh. is it unique? or do i sound like another whiny teenager? do i come off as trying to gain sympathy?too much material? style? lacking is something? ANYTHING!!! it is not final and i can still change it so any advice is welcome. kudos :)
After 18 years, my parents have had another child - a boy. While the measure of everyone's joy at this event seems infinite, I cannot help but wonder, was I not good enough?
I have always believed that one of the reasons I grew up to be a feminist is my parents. They raised me as an only child until the age of 12, after which they had another daughter who drove away the solitude I had always felt. Throughout my life I watched them disregard every tantrum from the society for not having a son, which led me to assume I was as good as one. I spent all of my time trying to gratify my parents; trying to gather their approval. I have been obedient, respectful, understanding and academically forward. I have been a source of pride to my parents at many occasions and have always dreamt of supporting them during their old days. Today, the dream is still the same; the difference is that I envision their son doing it instead of me.
To someone viewing this situation, it may look like another instance of sibling insecurity. But for me, it is much more. Having been raised in a society where wives are physically and verbally abused in every other home; where daughters are disowned for being engaged in love affairs; where children are always asked to pray for brothers and never for sisters; where people have as many as 12 daughters in hope of having a son and then refuse to educate all of them because they do not have the required source of finance, I always felt blessed to have parents who were not misogynists like most in my society. But today, I feel like I was wrong all along. I wonder, could my parents be one of those I recently criticized as being misogynists?
I understand that they have the right to bear as many children as they desire. However, the fact that if my sister or I were of the opposite sex, they probably would not have found the need to have another child, neglecting the unfavorable financial circumstances we are in, makes me feel worthless. My existence does not seem to hold any value to neither my society nor my parents.
As a child, I was also a subject to ethnic discrimination and bullying in my school. Back then, I did not know that it was wrong and always thought that I was the one carrying the defect. But not this time. I refuse to be treated differently for something that is a part of me that I do not have the power to change. Unlike my society, I know that my existence holds a reason and now, I have found it. Sexism is a disease, one of the mind that I cannot treat with my knowledge in genetics. However, I will bring a change to the mindset of people towards women in any possible way I can.
I may forgive my parents for the pain that they have caused me, the insecurities I have felt, the doubts I have had about myself, but I cannot forgive them, as a woman, for thinking I wasn't good enough.
After 18 years, my parents have had another child - a boy. While the measure of everyone's joy at this event seems infinite, I cannot help but wonder, was I not good enough?
I have always believed that one of the reasons I grew up to be a feminist is my parents. They raised me as an only child until the age of 12, after which they had another daughter who drove away the solitude I had always felt. Throughout my life I watched them disregard every tantrum from the society for not having a son, which led me to assume I was as good as one. I spent all of my time trying to gratify my parents; trying to gather their approval. I have been obedient, respectful, understanding and academically forward. I have been a source of pride to my parents at many occasions and have always dreamt of supporting them during their old days. Today, the dream is still the same; the difference is that I envision their son doing it instead of me.
To someone viewing this situation, it may look like another instance of sibling insecurity. But for me, it is much more. Having been raised in a society where wives are physically and verbally abused in every other home; where daughters are disowned for being engaged in love affairs; where children are always asked to pray for brothers and never for sisters; where people have as many as 12 daughters in hope of having a son and then refuse to educate all of them because they do not have the required source of finance, I always felt blessed to have parents who were not misogynists like most in my society. But today, I feel like I was wrong all along. I wonder, could my parents be one of those I recently criticized as being misogynists?
I understand that they have the right to bear as many children as they desire. However, the fact that if my sister or I were of the opposite sex, they probably would not have found the need to have another child, neglecting the unfavorable financial circumstances we are in, makes me feel worthless. My existence does not seem to hold any value to neither my society nor my parents.
As a child, I was also a subject to ethnic discrimination and bullying in my school. Back then, I did not know that it was wrong and always thought that I was the one carrying the defect. But not this time. I refuse to be treated differently for something that is a part of me that I do not have the power to change. Unlike my society, I know that my existence holds a reason and now, I have found it. Sexism is a disease, one of the mind that I cannot treat with my knowledge in genetics. However, I will bring a change to the mindset of people towards women in any possible way I can.
I may forgive my parents for the pain that they have caused me, the insecurities I have felt, the doubts I have had about myself, but I cannot forgive them, as a woman, for thinking I wasn't good enough.
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