He sits there, in block start position, amid the icy winter sky. His panting growing louder, his pulse escalating. The temperature differential propels an eerie column of fog up from his mouth, producing the spooky ambience of a werewolf movie. Only one thought crosses his mind, to be the first one to reach that finish line. The crowds roar producing butterflies in his stomach.
A gunshot, stampede and the race was finished, instinct eventually overrode thought. A hundred meter sprint, twelve seconds flat, yet it didn't suffice. Just over two seconds separated first from last, yet he merely inched his way to fourth place. Surprisingly he wasn't disappointed, rather John Hersey's words reminded him, "Every success begins with a failure".
Driven by an inexplicable compulsion he still competes each year, the fear of failure has made him averse to new challenges. For who doesn't like the sight of gold?
any critique would be welcome, my grammar and punctuation is horrible. I would be pleased if you could let me know about errors in those areas
A gunshot, stampede and the race was finished, instinct eventually overrode thought. A hundred meter sprint, twelve seconds flat, yet it didn't suffice. Just over two seconds separated first from last, yet he merely inched his way to fourth place. Surprisingly he wasn't disappointed, rather John Hersey's words reminded him, "Every success begins with a failure".
Driven by an inexplicable compulsion he still competes each year, the fear of failure has made him averse to new challenges. For who doesn't like the sight of gold?
any critique would be welcome, my grammar and punctuation is horrible. I would be pleased if you could let me know about errors in those areas
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