Please help me review and edit my application essay! I'm applying for Keio's PEARL program for 2025 Fall, the essay's subject is "Written Statement of the Applicant's Academic and Future goals". My word limit is 1000 words. I want to know if I need to cut down on anything or add any more information. Thank you so much for your time!
(This is where the essay begins)
Since a young age, I have always been fascinated with studying. I spent hours and days studying and acquiring knowledge for school and competitions, while my peers were out enjoying their youth. However, I failed probably one of the most important tests during that time of my life: I failed the Hanoi Excellent Student Contest in English.
If I was asked if I regretted all of that, I would say no. Yes it was exhausting, both academically and mentally challenging for a 17-year-old. But it was all worth it, because I learned so much more about myself as well as discovered my goals and interests. It was worth it because the failure made me realize I want to further my studies abroad, and broaden my knowledge so much more.
During my time in school, I have always been perceived as a hard-working and dedicated student. However, high school presented significant challenges for me as I enrolled in a prestigious English major class, and quickly realized how difficult the subjects were. Especially since all my classmates were also highly gifted, I also encountered extreme peer pressure. By 10th grade, I felt dissatisfied and overwhelmed by my studies. Fortunately, I adjusted and by the end of high school, my academic performance was strong. I studied hard for the SAT and IELTS exams, and thankfully, I received solid scores. But the turning point came when I failed the Hanoi Excellent Student Contest, a prestigious competition for top students. After two years of preparation, I was shocked to find myself struggling during the exam, unable to answer several key questions. I walked away empty-handed, and this failure hit me hard. For the first time, I lost my motivation and sense of purpose. I had no goals, no direction, and no passion for studying - something that had always defined me. I felt utterly disheartened, unsure of what to do next.
Over time, my perspective shifted. I realized I was not defined by a single contest or failure - I was much more than that. I recognized that I was also a confident, articulate, and hard-working individual. I began to dedicate more time to extracurricular activities to focus on improving my own skills. As a result, I met new people, made valuable friendships and regained my sense of motivation and purpose through education projects. One of the most fulfilling experiences was helping middle school students prepare for their high school entrance exams. It was incredibly rewarding to be a role model, guiding my students to learn from my mistakes and encouraging them to make the most of their education. Having lacked guidance from seniors myself, I wanted to be the mentor I never had for my students as much as I could. These experiences in education projects not only helped me find purpose but also reshaped my mindset. I came to appreciate the value of connecting with communities, learning from peers, and the importance of continuous growth and study.
My experiences working on non-profit projects also inspired me to constantly seek opportunities to expand my knowledge for self improvement. I found my primary goals are to deepen my understanding of global economics and social issues as well as how those fields may affect education qualities and opportunities. More importantly, I aim to use these valuable knowledge to help create learning opportunities and make education overall better for students in my country. Keio University aligns with these ambitions of mine by a large margin. Its international environment, prestigious reputation, and robust research facilities provide the ideal platform for learning and self-improvement. In particular, Keio's program - PEARL - is one of my top choices for university programs. PEARL not only provides knowledge and resources on economic issues, but also social and global phenomena of the world. By studying both economic and liberal arts subjects, I hope to gain the skills needed to address complex social issues, global economics and comprehend how they impact education. Through its independent research projects and seminars, Keio can also help me develop my knowledge practically and effectively. Additionally, the PEARL program offers diverse perspectives on the economy and global issues from international students and faculty members.
My goals at PEARL are first and foremost to exchange knowledge and skills with international peers. With students from various countries attending this program, PEARL will offer me exposure to different cultures, perspectives and mindsets on economic studies as well as global issues. I am also eager to study more about the history of economic issues, and even more interested in connecting the knowledge I can acquire in Keio with social issues and education. Therefore, PEARL's Type B curriculum aligns significantly with my goals. In particular, by studying courses like International Economic or War and Society, I can broaden my knowledge about the world's economy, about current affairs, ongoing conflicts or the histories behind those conflicts.
After completing my studies at PEARL, my primary goal is to apply the knowledge and skills I have gained to positively impact society. I am eager to use what I will learn to help enhance society and more specifically, elevate the education system for children. Specifically, I aim to create more education opportunities, improve learning facilities and environment as well as enhancing education quality for students in my country. By grasping the complexities of global economics, I can link this knowledge to the quality of education and contribute to improving the learning environment and opportunities, particularly for disadvantaged children. After my time at Keio University, I hope to acquire valuable knowledge and vital skills that aid me in my goals of making a meaningful difference in education opportunities for those who need it most.
In conclusion, I am confident that the opportunities and resources at Keio University will provide me with the ideal environment to further develop myself. I am excited to engage with like-minded individuals that share my passion and mindset. After my time at Keio, I look forward to pursuing my goals in improving the education system in my country.
(This is where the essay begins)
Since a young age, I have always been fascinated with studying. I spent hours and days studying and acquiring knowledge for school and competitions, while my peers were out enjoying their youth. However, I failed probably one of the most important tests during that time of my life: I failed the Hanoi Excellent Student Contest in English.
If I was asked if I regretted all of that, I would say no. Yes it was exhausting, both academically and mentally challenging for a 17-year-old. But it was all worth it, because I learned so much more about myself as well as discovered my goals and interests. It was worth it because the failure made me realize I want to further my studies abroad, and broaden my knowledge so much more.
During my time in school, I have always been perceived as a hard-working and dedicated student. However, high school presented significant challenges for me as I enrolled in a prestigious English major class, and quickly realized how difficult the subjects were. Especially since all my classmates were also highly gifted, I also encountered extreme peer pressure. By 10th grade, I felt dissatisfied and overwhelmed by my studies. Fortunately, I adjusted and by the end of high school, my academic performance was strong. I studied hard for the SAT and IELTS exams, and thankfully, I received solid scores. But the turning point came when I failed the Hanoi Excellent Student Contest, a prestigious competition for top students. After two years of preparation, I was shocked to find myself struggling during the exam, unable to answer several key questions. I walked away empty-handed, and this failure hit me hard. For the first time, I lost my motivation and sense of purpose. I had no goals, no direction, and no passion for studying - something that had always defined me. I felt utterly disheartened, unsure of what to do next.
Over time, my perspective shifted. I realized I was not defined by a single contest or failure - I was much more than that. I recognized that I was also a confident, articulate, and hard-working individual. I began to dedicate more time to extracurricular activities to focus on improving my own skills. As a result, I met new people, made valuable friendships and regained my sense of motivation and purpose through education projects. One of the most fulfilling experiences was helping middle school students prepare for their high school entrance exams. It was incredibly rewarding to be a role model, guiding my students to learn from my mistakes and encouraging them to make the most of their education. Having lacked guidance from seniors myself, I wanted to be the mentor I never had for my students as much as I could. These experiences in education projects not only helped me find purpose but also reshaped my mindset. I came to appreciate the value of connecting with communities, learning from peers, and the importance of continuous growth and study.
My experiences working on non-profit projects also inspired me to constantly seek opportunities to expand my knowledge for self improvement. I found my primary goals are to deepen my understanding of global economics and social issues as well as how those fields may affect education qualities and opportunities. More importantly, I aim to use these valuable knowledge to help create learning opportunities and make education overall better for students in my country. Keio University aligns with these ambitions of mine by a large margin. Its international environment, prestigious reputation, and robust research facilities provide the ideal platform for learning and self-improvement. In particular, Keio's program - PEARL - is one of my top choices for university programs. PEARL not only provides knowledge and resources on economic issues, but also social and global phenomena of the world. By studying both economic and liberal arts subjects, I hope to gain the skills needed to address complex social issues, global economics and comprehend how they impact education. Through its independent research projects and seminars, Keio can also help me develop my knowledge practically and effectively. Additionally, the PEARL program offers diverse perspectives on the economy and global issues from international students and faculty members.
My goals at PEARL are first and foremost to exchange knowledge and skills with international peers. With students from various countries attending this program, PEARL will offer me exposure to different cultures, perspectives and mindsets on economic studies as well as global issues. I am also eager to study more about the history of economic issues, and even more interested in connecting the knowledge I can acquire in Keio with social issues and education. Therefore, PEARL's Type B curriculum aligns significantly with my goals. In particular, by studying courses like International Economic or War and Society, I can broaden my knowledge about the world's economy, about current affairs, ongoing conflicts or the histories behind those conflicts.
After completing my studies at PEARL, my primary goal is to apply the knowledge and skills I have gained to positively impact society. I am eager to use what I will learn to help enhance society and more specifically, elevate the education system for children. Specifically, I aim to create more education opportunities, improve learning facilities and environment as well as enhancing education quality for students in my country. By grasping the complexities of global economics, I can link this knowledge to the quality of education and contribute to improving the learning environment and opportunities, particularly for disadvantaged children. After my time at Keio University, I hope to acquire valuable knowledge and vital skills that aid me in my goals of making a meaningful difference in education opportunities for those who need it most.
In conclusion, I am confident that the opportunities and resources at Keio University will provide me with the ideal environment to further develop myself. I am excited to engage with like-minded individuals that share my passion and mindset. After my time at Keio, I look forward to pursuing my goals in improving the education system in my country.
