"Team Wales has won this debate" Common Application essay about prompt number 2 - Failure

Common Application essay about failure!!! Urgent please help!!!!!!

Here is my commonapp essay on

The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

pls have a look at it as soon as possible i need to send in my college applications soon! Thank you in advance!

I was sitting at the debate table huddled with my compatriots and teammates waiting for the verdict. It was our last debate for the day. We, Team Morocco, were debating Wales and if we lost, it would be all over for us. We sat waiting and hoping for a favorable outcome. After what seemed like hours of anguish, we were finally called into the room so the judges could give us their decision. The central judge started speaking and said, "First of all that was a very, very good debate. The clashes were present and we felt that both teams did extremely well, although one team did a better job at explaining their position." At this point I was too tense to utter a word; I started hoping and praying that we did the better job. The judge then said, "The decision was very hard for the judges, but we came to a final verdict. On a 3-0 decision." I saw her lean towards Team Wales and my heart sank. I knew what she was about to reveal before I even heard her, but she continued by saying, "Team Wales has won this debate." My heart sunk and I felt like crying. I looked at the expressions of my teammates and I saw the same look of frustration and disappointment on their faces. We were officially disqualified from the World Schools Debating Championship.

The World Schools Debating Championship is the biggest and most prestigious high school debating tournament. It is an annual international championship in which fifty nations participate. The selection process is very difficult and we were all proud to be there, but we had been brutally disqualified. The loss to Wales hurt us all very badly. We were inconsolable for the rest of the championship. We felt that all the time that went into preparation had gone to waste. For days afterwards, I resented everyone and was in a state of shock. We all felt that we could have done better. We then had a meeting about where we would go from the defeat and analyzed the loss. We were all to blame for the devastating loss. We did drop some important clashes during the debate, and we were not at our best. I wanted to stop debate after the loss. I felt that it was not the right thing for me and that all of the time that went into preparation and debating had been for naught. I was completely devastated.

As we were leaving the tournament with downcast faces, I started to reflect on debating and my experience with it. I then remembered why I had started debating in the first place. The rush and the clever exchange of ideas that came with it was why I had fallen in love with debate when I had started in my sophomore year. I started to reflect on the tournament and I understood that I had learned a lot from this experience. Debating in the most prestigious tournament in the world taught me a lot. I learned from the best debaters that the world offered. Every win and every loss in that tournament taught me something new, and I had acquired a very extensive set of skills from debating. I was ready to come back to my country and teach my countrymen the skills that I had acquired during the championship. During the trip back home, I finally realized that I was coming back not only as a better speaker and debater, but I was stronger and more resilient as a person. The championship taught me that nothing is impossible. I was ready for the new challenges that faced me. I now am ready to embark on a new challenge and return to the championship the next year, to again try my very best to make my country and my family proud.

I really need help as soon as possible

it is ok but lacks any sort of dramatic effects or suspense. try to add more suspense in the first paragraph and try to keep the descriptions of the event to a minimum.

El, your discussion needs to come from a more personal level. Don't waste the space by discussing a blow by blow account of how your team lost the debate. Simply summarize the loss and the aftermath of the loss to the team. More specifically, discuss how the loss affected you as a person, not necessarily as a member of the team.

While you can discuss how the loss affected the team, you need to present a more personal aspect of the loss on your part. The lessons that you learned don't really reflect any real, life or character altering lesson on your part. The lessons seems to be on a superficial level that just has to do with your realization as a member of the debate team and how you can improve in the future. Where is the character development? How can this loss relate into your coming into a better understanding of yourself as a person? How did you become better because of the loss? Explain how the loss affected your personal side. Regardless of the debate team.

There is much room for improvement in the way that you developed this essay. Just make sure to revise the important points that I addressed above for starters. That will help you better develop your prompt response.