I always visioned myself as a doctor; MCPHS essay, is it too basic/boring?

Growing up I always visioned myself as a doctor. In Anatomy class, last year though, is when I first explored my interest. Sitting in the class was the first time I actually was interested in what we were learning. I was intrigued by what the human body can do. Throughout the course we were taught practical things that made we change my view. Towards the end is when I got my first real application if anatomy. We dissected pigs and I learned so much than I did in all of the lass. Actually seeing the structures I learned about and holding them in my hands, I was speechless. The way that the organs all connect and work together to make us function. Following this liking, I started to volunteer and a hospital.Even though I was not working with doctors or nurses, I learned so much. Talking to the patients and giving them snacks showed me the other side of medicine. I saw how medicine can change someone's life and that seeing someone's happiness is inspiring.

At Massachusetts College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences, I believe that I can continue my interest and affection for medicine. The small classes, and hands- on learning attain to my style and will make my education more focused on my skills. Premedical and Health Sciences/Medicine is the major that fits my goals. Having this major will help me succeed in medical school. The premed pathway for medicine is the ideal course for my studies. The accelerated program will let me be able to meet my goals quicker and start my career earlier. Studying a Ross University would be life changing and a great experience in Dominica.

Hi! I have some advice for you!

Growing up I always visioned myself as a doctor. should be

I always see a vision of myself being a doctor.

In Anatomy class, last year though, is when I ... should be

The very first time I explore my interest is last year in the anatomy class/when I took anatomy class (you can use both).

... we were taught some practical things made me changing my point of view.

The way that the organs all connect and work ... shoud be

The way of the organs connecting and shifting made our body functional is arousing my passion.

Hi Julia, first of all, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, I hope this is just the start of a good relationship, we can assure you that with the help of this website and its editors as well as an army of contributors, you can expect no less than a well edited and well crafted essay, ready for submission.

Now, as I go through your essay, I must say, I noticed a few words that are somehow not the the most applicable word to complete the idea of your sentence. Having said that, please find a few suggestions below;

- Growing up, I always visionedenvisioned myself as a doctor.
- In Anatomy class, last year though ,
- is when I firstexploreddiscovered my interest.
- Sitting in the class,wasfor the first time, I actually was actually interested in what we were learningstudying .
- that made we changed my view.
- Towards the end of the class,is when
- I got my first real application ifof anatomy.
- much than I did in all of the lassclasses I had .
- Actually seeing the structures, I learned
- about and holding them in my handsa lot and

There you have it Julia,overall, the corrections are focused on the minor details of the essay such as punctuation marks, word input and if there is a major one, it will be the sentence construction, it is somehow missing or not in the right sequence, so you have to be careful with this in your future projects and in your revision.