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"How does the world manage to make all of our experiences into" topic of your choice



aelee523 3 / 8  
Dec 11, 2010   #1
This is for a topic of my choice essay. I would love criticism. I also want opinions on the flow of the essay. I'm still working on the ending but any help would be great. Thanks!

How does the world manage to turn all of our experiences into metaphoric guides of how to live life? Somehow, in some miraculous way it does. And for all those who seek happiness and success, the instruction manual is simply a memory away.

For me, the lessons learned of perseverance and dedication came in the form of tubby palomino pony named Dapples. For most riders Dapples plodded around like the old school pony she was; she was bombproof and perfect. When I got on her however, the monster within was unleashed. As I look back, I realize that she must have somehow known that I was, and am still not the type of person to just accept an idea. I have to challenge it, live it, and learn the lesson for myself. She was bound and determined to make me understand that life would do the opposite of hand me the things I wanted on a silver platter. I would have to go through pain and struggle to reach my dreams.

She was sly and deceptive with her misbehavior, a mastermind at catching me off guard. For weeks she made a routine out of taking off in the middle of a lesson, galloping through a gap in the worn down ring fence, to a dusty shed where she would lazily stand admiring her clever way of getting out of work, pretending, admirably well, that I did not exist. No matter how hard I kicked, smacked, or pleaded, she would not budge until I pulled my feet out of the iron stirrups, swung my leg over and off, and tugged my disgruntled pony back to the ring to resume our lesson. This was one of the few tricks she had up her sleeve. From mysterious and sudden, itches that had to be taken care of precisely at inopportune moments, to ravenous, uncontrollable desires for a particular patch of grass that would send me tumbling over her head, to opting out of jumping any given obstacle on any given day- she managed to keep me on my toes.

It wasn't until our time together came to an end that I realized the true depth of what she had taught me. Her teachings went far beyond the typical "if you fall, get right back on" axiom that most riders inevitably lean at one point or another. Yes- my overstuffed, dappled, dimpled pony had taught me to ride, but in doing so she also taught me how to live life- how to overcome challenges, how to work in a partnership, how to be clear and decisive with my instructions, how to be understanding and forgiving, how to know when to be serious, how to know when to lighten up and have fun, how to know when to leave well enough alone, how to outsmart a mastermind.

I haven't learned all the lessons that life has to offer, nor do I always live by the ones that I do know. What I know for sure though is that if we open our eyes and look around, the answers to any situation are all around us. All it takes is a tablespoon of observation and a pinch of application.

jarabhuiyan 4 / 9  
Dec 11, 2010   #2
The flow is fine I think, it is very creative. Maybe revising it one more time, and adding a bit more words for effect will perfect it!
OP aelee523 3 / 8  
Dec 12, 2010   #3
I posted this earlier but now i've revised and edited it. Please tell me what you think!
I would love opinions on the end of this. Im not sure how well it relates to the overall meaning of the essay... let me know what you think! thanks.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 21, 2010   #4
How does the world manage to turn all of our experiences into metaphoric guides of clues about how to live life? ---I made a small change that you can keep or not keep, depsnding on if it seems right to you. The meaning of the first sentence seemed unclear to me.

Comma, and capitalize: ...the typical, "If you ...

and use a comma at the end of a quote, too:
fall, get right back on," axiom that most riders...

...the answers to my questions about any situation are all around us me. All it takes ...

Awesome. Your essay is so interesting and meaningful. Thanks! I benefited by reading it!


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