Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


'bedroom is essential' Toefl essay: The most important room in your house



Arielruan 1 / -  
Jan 27, 2010   #1
Hi guys, I'm newbie here and this's my first essay :P.
Please correct it and give me some opinions :D.
Thanks very much.

What room do you consider to be the most important in a house? Why is this room more important to you than any room?

There are many rooms in a house, and each of them has its own function. You can consider living room to be the most important because you're hospitable. Or, you consider kitchen to be that one because it's the place your family gathered together eating and chatting. But, in my opinion, bedroom is indispensible, for 3 following reasons.

Firstly, bedroom is the place where I can relax after all day work. Nowaday, life is getting more and more busy. That causes a new century disease called stress or tired state.You will fell unbalanced , find it difficulty in solving proplem. Sometimes, you can even nearly go mad , lose your mind. So that, a peaceful place, a warm room, a comfortable bed seems to be ideal to make you less tired.

Secondly, you can't call somewhere your house if it's not where you sleep everynight. You can go out for eat so it is able to not have a kitchen. You can suggest your friends, your guest meeting in a cafeteria, a restaurant so it is able to not have a living room. But you can't sleep outside or other's house. So that, a house can't lack a bedroom.

Finally, bedroom is your private space. You can show your personality. You decorate the room the way you want. Bedroom can say something about your character, your liking, your age... If you're romantic one, your room can be painted pink, some pictures on the wall and even there's some flowers. If you like scientics, there might be a book shelve, a computer, a terrestrial globe.. If you like music, you could stick some pictures of some music bands on the wall. There might be a radio, some music instrumental.

In conclusion, bedroom is essential because it is where you relax, where you express your character. I always take good care of my bedroom because I consider it the most important room in my house.

yin 12 / 37  
Jan 27, 2010   #2
There are many rooms in a house, and each of them has its own function. You can consider living room to beas the most important room because you're hospitable. Or,or you can consider kitchen to beas that one because it's the place your family gathered together eating and chatting. But, in my opinion, bedroom is indispensible, for 3three/some following reasons.

Firstly, bedroom is the place where I can relax after all day working /a hardworking day . Nowadays , life is getting more and more busybusier . That causes a new century disease called stress or tired state.You will fellfeel unbalanced , find it difficultydifficult in solving proplem. Sometimes, you can even nearly go mad , lose your mind/lost your control . So that,Therefore, a peaceful place, a warm room, with a comfortable bed seems to be ideal to make you less tired.

Secondly, you can't call somewhereit your house if it's not the place where you sleep every night.
You can go out for eating, so it is able to notnot to have a kitchen.

You can suggest your friends, your guest meeting in a cafeteria, a restaurant so it is able to not have a living room.

>>> you can celebrate your friends or your guests at a cafeteria or a restaurant. This means it is unnecessary to have a living room.

But you can't sleep outside or other's house. So that,Therefore, a house can't lack a bedroom.

Finally, bedroom is your private space. You can show your personality. You decorate the room in the way you want. a Bedroom can say something about your characteristics , your likinghobbies , your age... For example, If you're a romantic oneperson , your room can be painted pink, with some pictures on the wall and even there'sare some flowers. If you like scienticsscience , there might be a book shelve, a computer, a terrestrial globe... If you like music, you could stick some pictures of some music bands on the wall. There might be a radio, some music instrumental as well .

In conclusion, bedroom is essential because it is the place where you relax, where youand comfortably express your character characteristics/personalities. I always take good care of my bedroom because I consider it the most important room in my house.

Note:You often make mistakes in using "so that" and "therefore". You use "therefore" when you need to draw a conclusion about some problem. On the other hand, you need to use "so that" when you want to mention your purposes. E.g, I kiss him so that he will remember me forever. :D
yin 12 / 37  
Jan 28, 2010   #3
Don't worry. I also make a lot of mistakes when using English. However, practice makes perfect. Just read and write as much as you can, you will improve yourself :D
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 28, 2010   #4
Nowadays, life is getting more and more busy busier and busier. That causes a new century disease called "stress" or "tired state." You will feel unbalanced and find it difficult to solve problems.

:-)


Home / Writing Feedback / 'bedroom is essential' Toefl essay: The most important room in your house
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳