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Implementing same national curriculum for students until entering college - GRE Issue



kays 5 / 10  
Jul 25, 2020   #1
Hi,
I would like a feedback regarding my essay; grammar-wise, vocab use, context addressed, and analytical writing. Score estimates are also very welcome :)

Question

A NATION SHOULD REQUIRE ALL OF ITS STUDENTS TO STUDY THE SAME NATIONAL CURRICULUM UNTIL THEY ENTER COLLEGE.



Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.


Response

Having the same national curriculum for students until entering college seems to be a wonderful idea, as students will learn similar learning materials thus having same standing grounds before advancing to college. However, some problems need to be addressed before implementing same national curriculum throughout the nation.

Colleges have a diversity of majors offered for prospective students. For example, there may be a college that is a favorite for engineering majors and a counterpart which specializes for pure science majors. Students that aim for these colleges will benefit heavily from a standardized curriculum. Subjects required for entering both colleges have similarities such as mathematics, physics, and biology. However it cannot be the same for colleges who offers social majors. Mostly physics are not necessary to enroll in a history or political major. Thus students who aim for social majors in college will be at a complete disadvantage if same national curriculum does not include their subjects required for their needs.

Additionally, a group of students may have their potential restrained by learning the same curriculum. Majority of students need a specific guide for their learning curriculum. However there also exists certain group of students who are academically better compared to their counterparts. This specific group will not feel accomplished by learning the same curriculum, as they have talent that can understand advanced subjects. While same national curriculum will have positive effect for majority students, it will not create positive environment for exceptional talents.

Another factor that should be addressed is about the feasibility of teachers to deliver the same curriculum. Teachers also have different capacities, such as students. There are teachers who can easily adapt to curriculum changes in a sam, while other may have a difficult time. It is difficult to expect all educator throughout the country to teach the same curriculum unless the government provides supervising assistance for them.

Implementing same national curriculum for students until entering college may be a very appealing propostion. But unless the problems addressed above are met with feasible solutions, the government have to postpone the implementation.

Atharvraturi27 1 / 2  
Jul 25, 2020   #2
"Having the same national curriculum for students before...".
"as students will have access to similar ... having common ground ..."
" ... same for colleges which offers social majors"

There are many more grammatical errors which might have gone unnoticed.You need to work on it.
Also, your stance is not very clearly defined and reasoned.Elaborate on it a bit more.Otherwise, i would say its finely written.

Please do review my Common Essay as well.Thank you!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15386  
Jul 26, 2020   #3
For essays with such specific review demands, you may opt to use our paid private review service. Scoring services are not part of the free services provided. The email for inquiries about the private services can be found in our homepage. For now, only the free review services will be applied to your essay. Thanks.

Reminder: Students are not allowed to score essays. Student scoring = Suspension !

Did you hurriedly write this essay? It does not contain the same reflective understanding that your previous essays contained. Your discussion is all over the place. It is scatterbrained. There is no clear focus for your discussion. You have confused the reader. The point of the discussion was to consider the benefits of having the same curriculum for students until high school. So why did your reasoning paragraph start with college? It is not the college application that is important in this discussion, it is the benefit or drawback of having the same curriculum until college. You should have outlined your thoughts in the following manner:

Same curriculum:
- Standardized classes
- Strong college foundation based on general subjects
- Assists students in realizing the college interests
- Helps students choose a college major based on grades in specific subjects
- Does not require specialized teachers

Non- Standardized Curriculum:
- College major focused classes
- Forces students to choose a college major early
- Does not allow students to seek their full potential in learning through general subjects
- Requires specialized teachers

Always consider the pros and cons before you write. Do not think then write. Consider a personal written debate first based on the "possible consequences of implementing the policy" so that you can explain how these "consequences shape your position". By the way, you were not properly able to defend the latter requirement. Your consequences did not clearly explain your position because you seemed to be rattled and nervous while writing this paper.
OP kays 5 / 10  
Aug 7, 2020   #4
@Holt
Thank you very much for your feedback, much appreciated. I'll keep trying to improve my essay within your guidance.


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