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Issue Essay for GRE AWA section - technology and human skills



tizentos 2 / 2  
Jun 3, 2017   #1
Title-As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate

Dependency on technology vs human development



Today, humans develop improved thinking process when they rely on technology to solve their problems-technology which comprises of all machines or contraptions used to carry out domestic and industrial task. Machines are designed by humans, prior to that, we study the complexity and the technical process behind the working principle of the machine thus, enormous analytical thinking is devoted to the machine design. Moreover, during application, humans focus on things that are more involving hence, they rely on technology to do the boring routine jobs. In contrary to the fact that we leave basic and boring monotonous task to machines, virtually every automation process requires human intervention to avoid costly error that would affect the integrity of the personnel or firm therefore, in a society-factories, office, religious places, technical processes-where technology is relied on, they experience escalated efficiency compared to decades before, where things were done without technology.

As human rely on technology more and more, scientists and technologists are pushed to their limit to study past technologies and develop how they can make it more robust. For example, artificial intelligence is the latest aspect, information technology(IT) firms pump funds into, researchers are pushed to their limits to improve on the technology. Similarly, office workers-secretaries, customer care agent, managers, operators-are taught, on how to use artificial intelligence in their businesses. In an article released by a real estate agent, the artificial intelligence installed on his system had to learn from the way he recommends, price and handle various request thus, the real estate agent serves as a mentor to this highly proclaimed artificial intelligence on his computer.

In addition, the more human rely on technology, we tend to place our lives on the reliability of technology therefore, in every automation process we have in the industry today, there are human, even the smallest, intervention. For instance, in cities like New York, California and other bucolic places in the first world countries, driverless cars are deployed on their roads, it sounds great but we have recorded accidents caused by this so called driverless cars produced by Uber, Tesla and other autonomous companies, this engenders that they provide human intervention, to check sensitive information and re-calibrate the car, after the driverless car has travelled a certain distance.

It's no news that various office work has been automated, this increases the efficiency of the staff. A reservation consultant in California shared how efficient she executes her duties. She was able to use artificial intelligence to attend to hundreds of reservation consultations, she discovered that the technology gave accurate reservation recommendation to her customers and she only come in when her clients want more specialized information about their reservation as such, she receives more positive feedback compared to the time she wasn't able to meet up to deadline.

However, there are critics that claimed that humans are being indolent for their reliance on technology-a popular example is the use of calculators by humans which have decreased their calculating ability-which is spurious. They failed to understand that the advent of counting machines and simple calculating machines made man realize great task technolgies can accomplish if it is improved upon. This led to diversity of disciplines and humans keep researching (engage in critical thinking) on how they can make life better.

Therefore, the more we rely technology to our problems, the more we set our minds in motion as to how we can improve on the technology as such, causes increased thinking process.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Jun 3, 2017   #2
Tosin, your opening statement, which was supposed to be a summary of the provided discussion did notnproperly accomplish the task. While it was a long paragraphthat provided your opinion, it should have also given an overview of the main discussion topic. That is why you cannot get a score higher than a 3 for the summary portion. Even with that flaw, the quality of your ideas can still score a 6 because of your strong, compelling position that used applicable examples throughout the essay. Your idea organization is also well represented and would most likely get a score of 6 as well. Sadly, your strong showing in the quality and organization portion did not continue into the writing style and grammar and usage areas. I don't think you can score more than a 4 in these sections due to sentence development and grammar​ usage problems. Your English sentence development is problematic because of the inconsistency in the sentence structure and development. Grammar inconsistencies affected your score in these portions. Regardless of the existing problems in your work though, I believe that you had a strong enoigh showing in this essay to prove your strong analytical abilities and reasoning skills. It is just the language presentation that requires more practice / work on your part. Try to develop a smoother and more fluent written English style. You don't need to present complex sentences. Just use simple​ but fluent in English sentences. That will increase your score better than improperly presented complex sentences.
OP tizentos 2 / 2  
Jun 3, 2017   #3
Thank you Holt, I will work on constructing fluent grammatical structure, I would also appreciate hint on how to go about it stress-free. I didn't proofread the essay, the mistakes were so obvious but still, writing fluently has posed a problem from onset.

Cheers!!


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