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In 1940 Japan stood at below 5% of people aged 65 and now prediction shows the rise to 27% in 2040



ADIE08 29 / 30  
Feb 21, 2016   #1
The line graph provides of the quantity of population 65 years and over, according to the percentage from 1940 to 2040 year in three cities. It is apparent from the information that, although Japan was the lowest member in the first period in 1940 while over 100 years later it will be the highest percentage of people 65 ages and next.

Looking detail on the data, Japan stood at below 5 percent of people 65 years in 1940. Moreover, in 1960, it slightly decreased to below 5 percent. Then, the line was steady twenty years later. in addition, a total population in Japan increased gradually between 1980 to 2000, in which approximately in the middle of 2030, the percentage will increasing dramatically and peak in 2040 around 27 percent.

On the other data, Sweden and The USA, both of them stood at below 10 percent in 1940, in which they had similar rate and fluctuation until 60 years later. However in the middle 1980, they were separated in which Sweden increased gradually until 2040 even though had experienced decreased in 2010 but it will be growing over in 2020. In contrary, USA will have stabling rate until in 2020 then, it is increasing and finish in 2040.


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Diqon 10 / 32  
Feb 21, 2016   #2
HELLO ADIE, I AM TRYING SOME EDITING SENTENCES FOR YOUR FLOW IN YOUR FIRST PARAGRAPH.

The line graph provides of the quantity of population 65 years and over, according tothe percentage of population aged 65 and over from 1940 to 2040 year in three cities.

... while over 100 years later, ( HERE SHOULD BE A COMMA ) it will be PREDICTED BY the highest NUMBER IN percentage of people 65 ages and next.

i hope this correction can help you. thank you.
adil2000 2 / 5  
Feb 21, 2016   #3
Nice data and statistics but what is the effect of all of this. Provide some analysis.
caro5ca 2 / 8  
Feb 21, 2016   #4
Hello! I liked the fact that you included meaningfull dat , but I think you also should include the reason why this numbers changed so that your essay can be more valuable.
nsb 3 / 6  
Feb 27, 2016   #5
hello adie let me give you some comments

- The line graph provides of the quantity of population 65 years ...

- although Japan was the lowest member (I do not know the meaning of the lowest member) in the first period in 1940.

- between 1980 to 2000 -------------- remember between is pairing with and not to ( between ... and ...., from ..... to .....).

- it is forecasted that the number of people percentage of will increasing increase dramatically and peak in 2040 around 27 percent and reach the peak to 27 percent in 2040

- On the other data, Sweden and The USA, both of them stood at below 10 percent in 1940

NB:
This graph shows two parts of time, namely past tense and future tense. It is suggested that you find connectors or expressing words to explain about the future for example:

- it is forecasted that .....
- it is predicted that ...
Try to find various sentences, it will make your writing more interesting.

Be better adie


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