Self-Portrait-- SMU RA Position Essay

Hello I am a freshman at SMU an I am applying for an RA position at my school for the following year. As part of the requirements we are suppose to write 3 essays. I am on my second essay and I don't know how to continue it. Please Help and provide comments! ALL COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED :)

Prompt: Provide a creative description or depiction of yourself and your qualities and how the qualities would contribute to the RA position. (i.e. drawings, collage, essay)

Before you continue, the creative description that I am using is a song that I wrote called "It's Time."

Perseverance. Endurance. Diligence. These are only a few traits that can be used to depict me. I have always been a very ambitious person. My song "It's Time" is a great illustration of my determination and where I want to be in life. I go after what I want, when I want it. I make every effort to succeed in my education so that I can succeed in life. There is no room for quitting in my mindset. When I start, there is no turning back for me.

ditch the for me in your last line...its obvious...other than that very nice start. your second sentence is weak though

Hello
This start is very good but try not to use very.
Your second sentence is a bit weak, might want to tweak that up a little.
Hope I helped.

Thank you both for you replies. I was wondering should I delete the second sentence entirely? Also, how should I start my next paragraph?

I don't like the very last sentence on their.

I would continue this with real examples of how you exemplify these traits. Give examples of how you are determined, ambitious etc... then I would follow that up with why you think these traits are important for an R.A.

Answer mine please?

Thank you for your reply.

I understand what you mean but the essay asked me to provide a creative description of myself and my qualities and elaborate on them. My creative description is a song I wrote. Should I talk about the song at all?