Thank you for sharing your work.
I'll explain why you probably received a C or D
on this paper.
1) Grammatical errors
2) Thesis is too general
3) Weak examples. Any scary story has some scary setting moments. What makes this one unique?
4) I found a better thesis in the last paragraph.
"
A claim can be made that the setting is almost a character within itself. It has a name, detailed features, plays a major role in the overall telling of the story, and the story wouldn't be the same if it were a normally described setting."
The most original thought in your essay is at the end! Try starting with this idea and pick the best examples from the story and explain why they prove the thesis to be true.I can't wait to read another draft.