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Interior monolog about a short story "Cat in the rain"


costyk1 1 / -  
Mar 1, 2016   #1
Hello. Can someone help me with a interior monolog about Cat in the rain story.I want to capture the moment when the wife stay in the front of mirror and arranges her hair while her husband is reading a book.

What i've done:
My hair is not good at all. I arrange everything and nothing bother him, and he is lying on top of the bed reading the book. That book is more important than me? A book is more important than your wife?

Please create 2 or 3 more sentences and correct my monolog.
Thank you.

Wolf Larsen - / 127 47  
Mar 2, 2016   #2
Hello costyk1

I rewrote the monologue so that it sounds little better:

I think, my hair does not look so good at all. I stand in front of the mirror, arranging hair locks, and he is just laying on his bed, consumed with reading the book. Is he trying to tell me that this book is more important to him than his wife? If this is the case, it means that I am married to an ungrateful and selfish man. I thought of starting to get undressed so that he pays attention to me, but I now think that it would probably make more sense pouring some water on his head - maybe this will wake him to the reality of living a married life.
EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Mar 2, 2016   #3
If he thinks he can just ignore me he's crazy! It's not a genuine interest in the book, don't you know? He's sneaking peaks at me, and really did notice what I did with my hair! He's just pretending... he's playing hard to get...maybe I'll try a bow.

Just tried to help but you have a good start! I think you should try more punctuation variety.

nothing bothers him!

Also, I think you should try drawing an analogy literally to a cat in the rain

I'm getting cold from him ignoring me...

Basically a good monologue, but you could sharpen the imagery with better punctuation and some cat metaphores! Use some exclamation points to express indignity! Also vary the sentence lengths to provide more interest. What else about the situation reminds you about a cat in the rain?

Word pictures are very important in interior monologue.

ef_carol
nelarizka79 16 / 21 1  
Mar 16, 2016   #4
My hair is not good at all. I arrange everything and nothing ...


I arrange everything and nothing can cath his attention toward me. He is just lying on the bed while reading the book. Is the book more important than me? Is the book more important than your wife?


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