Although most men do not realize it is happening,
I think most of us know it is happening.
Men sometimes talk about women, like, you know how a woman can be... I guess women do the same, but most societies clearly have oppressed women... just the fact that America has never had a female president shows how terribly oppressive our society is. It's good that all this is changing.
This paragraph you wrote is not bad... it's clear and admirable, and it shows some familiarity with Jane Eyre. However, it is SO simplistic!! I wonder if you really have read the whole novel. Have you? You can read the sparknotes first to help you understand it, but then really spend time meditating on the novel. Get deep into it.
Then, you will rewrite this paragraph to name some specific kinds of adversity she faced and some modern equivalents of those adversities. Do you know what I mean? Just start reading the sparknotes first, and then as you work through the book you'll really appreciate what is happening because you'll already be familiar with the themes...
jane eyre sparknotes themes
But don't neglect to read the actual book, too!! :-)
also, BTW you should name the author in this intro paragraph.