"The Power of Emotion" - Hamlet for grade 12 english

Hamlet essay I need an 85% please edit and tell me what mark you would give if you were the teacher. That being said please provide feedback that you think will be beneficial to my academic performance.

The Power of Emotion

The power of the human mind is remarkable. The emotions the mind creates influence the decisions and actions of individuals; these feelings can leads to one's success or one's failures. In William Shakespeare's Hamlet, the emotion of fear plays a significant role in the advancement of the plot through Hamlet's fear of the unknown, Claudius' fear of retribution, and Gertrude's fear of loneliness.

Due to the unpredictable outcome of the future, Hamlet fears taking action in the present. Through out the play procrastination in one of Hamlet's predominant flaws that keeps him from following through with his course of action. Hamlet feels the needs to ensure that Claudius is responsible for his father's untimely death and does so by sharing his plan with Horatio. He instructs him to:

"Observe mine uncle: if his occulted guilt
do not unkennel in one speech,
It is a dammed ghost that we have seen..." (3.2. 79-81)
Hamlet continuously delays his plan for revenge by going to great lengths in order to prove Claudius' guilt. He needs confirmation numerous times before he takes action. These delays are a result of his fear for his unknown future.

The immediate remarriage between Gertrude and Claudius following the death of Hamlet Sr demonstrates the vulnerability and fear of loneliness that Gertrude possesses. The sudden romance has an impact on Hamlet that causes him to display his distaste towards his mother when he says:

Let me not think on't -- Frailty, thy name is woman!--
A little month, or ere those shoes were old
With which she followed my poor father's body,
Like Niobe, all tears;--why she, even she,--
O God! a beast that wants discourse of reason
Would have mourn'd longer,-- married with mine uncle,
My father's brother, but no more like my father
Than I to Hercules: within a month; (1.2. 147-153)
Gertrude uses the attention of another man to overcome her grief. In this speech Hamlet compares her to a beast and expresses his feelings of betrayal by his mother. He recognizes her lack of independence and he refers to her as a disgrace. Gertrude's fear of loneliness affect her emotions and contribute to Hamlet's reasoning.

Hamlet's unpredictable state of mind and impetuous actions leave Claudius uncertain and in fear of retribution. Following the performance The Mousetrap Claudius expresses his outrage towards Hamlet. He comes to the realization that Hamlet is aware of his sinful acts and becomes fearful of Hamlet's plan for revenge. He convinces himself and others that Hamlet has gone mad when he warns:

I like him not, nor stands it safe with us
To let his madness range. Therefore prepare you;
I your commission will forthwith dispatch,
And he to England shall along with you:
The terms of our estate may not endure
Hazard so dangerous as doth hourly grow
Out of his lunacies. (3.3. 1-7)
Claudius experiences feelings of paranoia and he divulges a plan to obliterate Hamlet. The fear of retribution influences Claudius' impetuous actions on Hamlet, leading to his downfall. The control that fear places on Claudius is evident through his panic and thoughtless plans.

The power of emotion is undeniable. The influence and tole it takes on oneself can over power one's reasoning and a single emotion can have an impact on individuals in multiple ways. The role of fear in William Shakespeare's Hamlet takes the characters on a journey past the point no return which in turn leads to the tragic downfall of Hamlet, Gertrude, and Claudius. Fear plays a significant role in the advancement of the plot, through Hamlet's fear of the unknown, Claudius' fear of retribution, and Gertrude's fear of loneliness.

I think that first paragraph should have at least one more sentence to "sharpen" the theme of the paper. Make it a well-developed theme by adding a sentence at the end of the first paragraph after listing those subtopics. What is the connecting link among the subtopics?

Okay... you are doing well, but you have one more big thing to do... the most important thing. You need to look at these 3 facts you shared... and really, as this is now, it just gives an observation about each of the three and then gives an example... look at the three observations/facts and see what they teach you about life when you consider them all together.

Know what I mean? Look at what you have here, and find the life lesson. Make an assertion of that lesson... make a claim, and back up your cool argument. You have to look at the info you have here and come up with an excellent theme, and promote that theme in the first and last paragraph of the essay.

:-)

Thanks for all the help you gave in another thread!!!!

I think you have you picked really good pieces of Hamlet to back up your ideas. They offer support to your paragraphs, as well as tie the story back into your essay.

However, I have just a few suggestions. Before that though, the way your essay is in this thread post - is that the same way you have it formatted? I'm guessing probably not, but I wanted to ask. =]

I think you have a good idea behind your opening paragraph, but as the reader it felt a little choppy to me. I would suggest letting the sentences flow together a little more.

Maybe along the lines of:
The human mind possesses a remarkable amount of power and influence over one's decisions and actions. The emotions expirenced can shape one's successes or failures. This is a major theme in William Shakespeare's Hamlet. One sees the powerful emotion of fear take hold of Hamlet, Claudius, and Gertrude's roles in the play through fears of the unknown, retribution, and lonliness respectively. It is in the unpredictable out of the future that prevents Hamlet from taking any action in the present. He struggles with procrastination, which can be noted as one of his predominant flaws. Hamlet feels he must prove beyond any doubt that Claudis is responsible for his father's untimely death, he does so by sharing his plan with Horatio and instructing him to:

I am not trying to say that anything was bad, that is more of a personal opinion. :) If you want to stay long the lines of your original writing there are just a few changes that need made. :)

The power of the human mind is remarkable. The emotions the mind creates influence the decisions and actions of individuals; these feelings can leads to one's success or one's failures. In William Shakespeare's Hamlet , the emotion of fear plays a significant role in the advancement of the plot .This is seen through Hamlet's fear of the unknown, Claudius' fear of retribution, and Gertrude's fear of loneliness.

Due to the unpredictable outcome of the future, Hamlet fears taking action in the present. Through outThroughout the play procrastination inis one of Hamlet's predominant flaws that keeps him from following through with his course of action. Hamlet feels the needs to ensure that Claudius is responsible for his father's untimely death and does so by sharing his plan with Horatio. He instructs him to:

Hamlet feeds his fear for the unknown by going through great length to prove Claduius' guilt. He needs confirmation time after time before he feels comfortable with taking action. It is in this procrastination that one can clearly see his fear of the unknown future. The immediate remarriage between Gertrude and Claudius following the death of Hamlet Sr. gives a clear insight to Gertrude's fear of loneliness. This sudden romance, however, has a strong impact on who in turn expresses his distaste to his mother when he says:

OR:

Hamlet continuously delays his plan for revenge by going to great lengths in order to prove Claudius' guilt. He needs confirmation numerous times before he takes action. These delays are a result of his fear for his unknown future.

The immediate remarriage between Gertrude and Claudius following the death of Hamlet Sr., demonstrates the vulnerability and fear of loneliness that Gertrude possesses. The sudden romance has an impact on Hamlet , that causes him to display his distaste towards his mother when he says:

Hamlet compares his mother to a beast,seeing her both as a disgrace as well as feeling betrayed. He recognizes her lack of independence but cannot see that Gertrude uses the attention of another man to replace her feelings of grief. Claudius finds himself full of uncertainty and fear of retribution as Hamlet becomes unpredictable and irrational. It soon becomes obvious to Claudius that Hamlet knows of his sinful act, and waits in fear for his revenge. Claudius convinces not only himself but everyone else that Hamlet has gone mad when he warns:

Gertrude uses the attention of another man to overcome her grief. In this speech Hamlet compares her to a beast and expresses his feelings of betrayal by his mother. He recognizes her lack of independence and he refers to her as a disgrace. Gertrude's fear of loneliness affect her emotions and contribute to Hamlet's reasoning.

Hamlet's unpredictable state of mind and impetuous actions leave Claudius uncertain and in fear of retribution. Following the performance The Mousetrap Claudius expresses his outrage towards Hamlet. He comes to the realization that Hamlet is aware of his sinful acts and becomes fearful of Hamlet's plan for revenge. He convinces himself and others that Hamlet has gone mad when he warns:

Claudius is overwhelmed with feelings of paranoia and creates a plan to eliminate Hamlet. The fear of retribution leads Claudius down a careless and impulsive path ultimatley causing his downfall. Claudius becomes a slave to fear, which can be seen clearly in his panic and erratic plans.

Emotion is by far one of the most powerful influences people face, it can grab hold of one's senseibility and reasoning. A single moment of passion can shape one's life in countless ways. William Shakespear's Hamlet opens a window into the seduction and deception of fear, allowing the reader to see Hamlet, Gertrude, Claudius fall victim to their tragic endings. The unbridled power of fear not only plays a crucial role in Hamlet's plot advancement, but brings the story to life.

Claudius experiences feelings of paranoia and he divulges a plan to obliterate Hamlet. The fear of retribution influences Claudius' impetuous actions on Hamlet, leading to his downfall. The control that fear places on Claudius is evident through his panic and thoughtless plans.

The power of emotion is undeniable. The influence and tole it takes on onethe self can over poweroverpower one's reasoning, and a single emotion can have an impact on individuals in multiple ways. The role of fear in William Shakespeare's Hamlet takes the characters on a journey past the point of no return, which in turn leads to the tragic downfall of Hamlet, Gertrude, and Claudius. Fear plays a significant role in the advancement of the plot, through Hamlet's fear of the unknown, Claudius' fear of retribution, and Gertrude's fear of loneliness.

I offered two versions of your paragraphs, one with the sentances grouped together a little more and then a slightly revised version of what you already have. Whatever you choose to go with, I think that the ideas behind the essay are great. I feel that you repeat yourself a little too much. Mostly in the words you are using (downfall being used twice within the same sentance) and repeating what Hamlet, Gertrude, and Claudius all fear.

Without any revision, I would probably give the paper a 75%. There were a few grammer issues, but they were very minor.

I hope this helps and you get the grade you want on your essay. Good luck!! If you would not mind - take a look at mine as well. =] (it is pretty long though, so if you don't I understand.)

Thank you so much, the only reason I did not expand on a lot of my ideas is because we had a 500 word limit and I was around 620 when I was finished.

I revised most of it.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!